@Jeffrey - the marriage one actually happened - Winston Churchill was accosted by a female politician in parliament who said after a heated exchange "Sir, If I were your wife I would put poison in your tea" to which he replied "Madam, If I were your husband, I would drink it." His other classic is the woman who said "Sir, you're drunk" to which he replied "Madam, youre ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober!"
The swirling Buddha lotuses properly tripped me out...
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