Can You Truly Accept Yourself If You Believe There Is Something Wrong With You?

I often meet people who describe themselves as Bipolar or Depressed. They are often looking for their own flaws and are not satisfied with what lies at their core. If you want to fight with who you are, how can you come to a place of piece and acceptance of yourself?

I often meet people who describe themselves as Bipolar or Depressed. They are often looking for their own flaws and are not satisfied with what lies at their core. If you want to fight with who you are, how can you come to a place of piece and acceptance of yourself?

AllbuddhaBound said:

If you want to fight with who you are, how can you come to a place of piece and acceptance of yourself?

I'm not sure you can, if you want to fight with who you are that is. Meaning that fighting with yourself and accepting yourself are mutually exclusive.

If you can learn to accept yourself you will have a kinder attitude towards yourself and will want to be happy and feel like you deserve it. So accepting your faults doesn't mean you're stuck with them it means that you love yourself enough to want to develop better habits that lead to more peace and happiness.

You offer unconditional love to yourself, just as you would to others. Within that love, you can grow, and practice the Dharma.

I remember something a yoga instructor once said that I really took to heart, "In the same way that you will never be perfect, you already are."

Like others have said, be kind to yourself, but don't lose the ability to grow and learn.

I think it's important to differentiate between a flaw and a limitation here.

A flaw seems like something that is innate and unchangeable. A limitation is something that can be addressed mindfully and accepted as something that can change with time.

thank you for this thread. I believe I was brainwashed to believe there is something wrong with me. Through analyzation... labelling and given drugs when I didn't need them.. believing I had been "cured". I absolutely hate modern psychiatry. They are looking for they're flaws because they believe something is wrong with their brain.. and have been analyzed and TOLD there is something wrong with them by doctors who are authority figures. So they focus on fixing what's wrong with they're behaviour or mental patterns because they are nice people who want to have a normal life.

Metta meditation helps. I agree with my teacher that many people have negative self-images and metta meditation can help with that.. starting with lovingkindness towards oneself.

Just my thoughts.

I have a nice friend who was saying that sometimes he just has to tell himself "everything is as it should be"

....And I think it's TNH who says,

"How wonderful! how wonderful it is, with things exactly as they are!"

very good :D

Dakini said:

You offer unconditional love to yourself, just as you would to others. Within that love, you can grow, and practice the Dharma.

Wholeheartedly agree.

Great question. The answer is not simple, but it is simple.

So much to be learned from the simple.

We live in this world where negativity and problems abound, particularly in the west. Where we always view aberrations as something to be conquered. Something to be controlled and brought into subjugation. Then, we apply the same standard to ourselves and wonder why we can't be happy or at peace with the reality of our world.

And if things don't change inside us with medication or a therapeutic approach, then it isn't our fault that our problems don't disappear. We can give in and surrender to the problematic thinking or behaving.

Is it possible to lead a good and happy life, even if our symptoms persist?

AllbuddhaBound said:

Is it possible to lead a good and happy life, even if our symptoms persist?

Certainly. Our heart's natural state is metta, but we forget this with all of the worries, doubts, our imperfections, our relationships with others that may collapse, illness and feeling we are labeled as "unhealthy," etc.

Connect with metta. Begin to accept yourself as you are, and love yourself for that alone.

I am diagnosed bipolar. It is just how mybrain works. I find things much easier on a day to day basis, how much I appreciate that.

However I don't feel there is anything more wrong with me than someone with diabetes or asthma. And unlike diabetes or asthma I can see there is some cool stuff with my brain

The answer is yes, I do not expect or intend to be 'perfect' by anyones standard and I am fine the way I am, without fixing.