I went to a new sangha tonight
It is break and I wanted to try a lot of things. It is a group related to Dharma Punx (Noah Levine), there are a few groups in the area. I could attend some type of meditation every single night here in Denver.
So the meditation was very nice, a great silent 30 minutes. Then we had a talk and some sharing. I am not sure what is quite bothering me (maybe just ego) but everyone was nice and it was a good talk about the vissicitudes (I know I spelled that wrong). I even talked some in the discussion which is great for the first visit. I can say that being shy was another lifetime for me now.
Okay the guy giving the talk was well studied and he had a very good energy to be all new agey about it. He also mentioned he used to be a huge body builder and that was part of his changes was to go from the angry, defensive guy at the gym to where he is now. It seems like he went from totally focusing on one thing to switching 5 years ago and now he is at the front of the group by totally focusing on Buddhism. Meanwhile I am not sure how I feel, and I am pretty sure it is not ego, it is just that I feel I have something compelling to say and it is based on not being able to turn my life over to Buddhist study but instead having to/and getting the blessing of, being mindful in the middle of it all. I have never been on retreat, I avoided reading for years in favor of meditation and bringing mindfullness into every moment. In teh discussion it became obvious that I had the most years, the longest besides me was maybe 7 years and I am at 25. I am not always great about practice but I know that there are shifts over time and I feel many of them as I listen to people who are still relatively new.
Meanwhile I pretty much post here about spending a lot of time at the dentist's office but I am reading the Thich Nhat Hanh book, The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching, and trying to remember things. I struggle to memorize and things don't stay 'in order' often.
I will go back when I can,