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Weight Loss?
leahnc
Explorer
I stay home with my kids and since I lost my job last year I have gained about 20+ pounds I was already overweight, so the extra weight gain stinks. Gosh Im trying real hard not to complain, but I cant seem to get motivated
Im trying so hard to accept myself right now where I am, but to be honest I really dont like the way I look. Im disappointed in myself. Im not living to my full potential. Ive been on every weight loss plan under the sun and they all work - but what do you do when you have no motivation to lose the weight even though you know you'd be happier???
Just curious where you all are in your weight loss journey or acceptance of self regardless of weight... Thanks
Im trying so hard to accept myself right now where I am, but to be honest I really dont like the way I look. Im disappointed in myself. Im not living to my full potential. Ive been on every weight loss plan under the sun and they all work - but what do you do when you have no motivation to lose the weight even though you know you'd be happier???
Just curious where you all are in your weight loss journey or acceptance of self regardless of weight... Thanks
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The feelings of not reaching your potential is a perception. It is charged with emotional energy. It only disempowers you. This is samsara, distorted perceptions. So it can be part of your work on your MIND to make another wish to be able to let go. Of this painful perception.
And the two wishes have power.
What are the things that rob you from your freedom to do what you want?
What are the things that you need to fight in order to do what you want?
Take a good look at them.
They are like little monsters that you never chose to have who control you and make you do whatever they want.
Take a good look at them.
where are they
what are they
where are they inside your body.
I basically maintained my calories at 1500-1800 and I did an hour and a half to 2 of intense cardio... jogging, dancing, spinning, hiking...etc... mixed with yoga on light days... no weight training... my goal was to slim down and tone using my own body weight...
keeping a calorie counter on my phone helped..
Writting my calories on the fridge, everyday... accountability
Doing it with a buddy is a great motivator!
See a doctor.
THis is the only weight that helped me... it does take a little bit of hard work.. there were some days that I just gave in and ordered a pizza...that's okay... you just do it one day at a time.. i also realized that there were many different excersises to burn..
like, sex
Once you get into the momentum of eating better and exercising more, it all becomes easier. It's just that first step you need to take that's hard. It also helps if you have a friend or family member to motivate you and support you along the way by kicking your butt when you are tempted to eat poorly or not do some exercise, and helping you make healthier choices.
My biggest, most important piece of advice - LOVE YOURSELF and KNOW that you will love yourself even if you don't lose the weight. Love yourself the way you are now, imagine loving yourself with another hundred pounds added on.
I also struggled with a type of codependence that revolved around treating everyone super nice and making them happy. So when I wanted to gorge on fast food instead of going home and patiently cooking up something more wholesome, I'd try to imagine what I'd want to feed someone I love, what I'd want their bodies to be nourished with. Then I'd remind myself that I have that same love and care for myself. I hope this makes sense.
Love yourself!!!
An easier way is to concentrate on lifestyle - the body reflects lifestyle - by being healthier and happier, one looks healthier and is happier.
Finger, moon, heavenly glory...
I have been researching diet, holistic approaches for litorally years now (it fascinates me!) LOVE YOURSELF >>> YOU ARE YOUR BODY .... being overweight can be harmful to your mental and physical health .... so maybee you are in some kind of spiral of decline ..... if your diet lacks certain neutrients, then you will feel a lack of motervation, sluggish or even depressed. Maybee start taking St. Johns wort and eating more wholesome meals would be a good starting point. Maybee take some B vitamins ... for energy .... do a light power walk with your kids in the evening .... and that would be a great start to a better and healthier version of yourself .... remember your body is your temple ..... take care of it, body mind and spirit .... x x x Good Luck
The way I handle these things in the most Buddhist way is to observe my feelings and body sensations throughout the day. What does it feel like after 3 hours on the couch compared to a half hour taking the kids to the park and walking? Same with food you may be eating that is healthier than other food, how do you feel right now and how do you feel later. The whole time practicing self compassion.
I quit smoking, and over the last month was able to stay quit during some stressful things. I was not able to do this for a long time, well a week here and there, but when the overwhelming bad feelings came I smoked. Eventually I was able to focus on how my body felt, and sometimes I would say I felt better, jittery and energetic, until I started noticing the bad feelings more and more. In the bad feeling times how I felt didn't matter, I was in a realm where I didn't care that I felt good, if that makes sense.
I really wanted to say here that I 'finally' quit smoking, maybe throw in a tiny self whack on the head, but I didn't. There can be a sense of ego in beating on ourselves as much as puffing ourselves up. It just is, Last month I was stressed and I smoked, this month I am stressed and I have not smoked. Okay.
And it seems mother Nature wants it that way....
Which is bloody annoying. :banghead:
http://www.beyonddiet.com/bd/landing?food=avocado
GET ON WITH IT...!!!
OK, I lost the will to live after 10 minutes....what '5 foods to never eat' won't kill me but they nearly did....
1) Stop thinking about gaining weight or losing weight - rather consider lifestyle and numbers - your body is a machine - who is in the driving seat? plonk yourself down in the driving seat and work out who is the dog and who is the tail and who should be wagging who...
2) Using your height and weight, work out what your resting metabolic rate is - this is the rough amount of calories you will burn just living and breathing etc
3) Work out a menu of say 10 dishes that you can cook easily and a list of foods with calories against it - there is so much out there on this and even apps for your phone.
4) Record what you actually eat for a week and tot up the calories each day.
4) Divide your intake calories by 3 - this is the sum of calories that you will need to burn everyday - pick out exercises that you enjoy and that correspond to your chosen level of calorie burn.
5) the calories you burn + your resting metabolic rate > the calories you consume every day.
In short - as long as you intake less calories than you expend a day, it is absolutely without fail 100% guaranteed that you will lose weight...
If it doesnt work, youre either eating too much or not doing enough physical activity or a combination of both...
and then begins the battle with the mind - that said, if one is able to sit for hours meditating then surely the simple task of eating and moving should be a easypeasylemonsqueezy?
My GF lost 50 lbs in 5 months. It was mainly because she finally got tired of being overweight and unhealthy.
I've always been trying to get her to eat healthier to no avail. Weight loss only worked when she mentally got into it.
She also found out that healthy food can also be really tasty. I've been cooking different vegetarian dishes and found recipes that she really likes. Now she says that her favorite foods are my cooking.
Another thing that helped motivate her was understanding what really goes into the foods that she used to eat and how unhealthy they are. The documentary "Forks Over Knives" was very informative. It's on Netflix.
I really like the feeling of eating non-greasy foods. I feel cleaner, and don't suffer from food coma.
http://www.amazon.com/Savor-Mindful-Eating-Life/dp/0061697702/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336753596&sr=1-2
I am involved in "Fat activism". That means - amongst other things - I believe that being fat (a little fat, or a lot fat) gives no one else the right to judge you, berate you, bully you, disregard you or disrespect you.
Being Fat is not a crime. Being Fat has nothing to do with one's intelligence or goodness inside. Being Fat is not a moral failing. Being Fat doesn't mean one is slothful or gluttonous.
Being fat does not NEED to cause one unhappiness. It takes a lot of work and effort, but one can learn to eventually accept their body at its natural 'set point' of weight- even if that means one is way beyond some chart in a doctor's office.
Being a Fat Activist means I support the HAES method (Health At Every Size).
That in turn means eating HEALTHY foods as much as possible, and eating intuitively (mindfully) without restrictive behaviors being the focus.
Dieting (meaning calorie restriction) can too easily become a lifetime attachment/obsession. It actually damages your health, and is rarely successful for the long run for weight loss.
It is more important to eat healthy, move your body in some way, and keep your mind from negative self-abuse - even if you can't wear that bikini or don't have 'six-pack abs.' Remember, thinness is a *cultural* obsession... not a moral or religious one.
And thin people are not always healthy, either.
http://www.amazon.com/Health-At-Every-Size-Surprising/dp/1935618253/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340540694&sr=8-1&keywords=Health+at+every+size
"... and keep your mind from negativity and self-abuse..."
There is no such thing as non-negative self abuse!
The less delicious food becomes what your body is attuned to. It is not as fun as the sugar/fat options but it satisfies the ritual of eating and vegetables: tomato, carrots, rice, steamed vegetables, turkey, and so forth.
Anecdote: I have night cravings of cheese and crackers and cannot sleep. I switched to turkey pepperoni or a peanut butter sandwich. Those have protein to satisfy whereas cheese is a great taste, quickly consumed, but high calorie.
Have you heard of Park runs? This is the UK site, though I believe they're ran all over the place. Friendly, fun, and full of first timers.
http://www.parkrun.org.uk/
With a 'sofa to 5k' program here:
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
So my way is full on compassion and making choices.
nobody is living up to her full potential.
not even oprah or hillary clinton.
except maybe, ajahn brahm or robina courtin???
Also, if you despair of losing weight, fight the despair first.
I'm quite mad at myself to be honest and your post could apply to this siltation too. It gave me some food for thought, thanks.
And the original meaning of the word 'compete' is very Buddhist too; these days 'compete' has connotations as 'every man for himself' or 'be the best', but the original meaning meant 'to progress together'. Runners who competitively race each other, push each other on; make each other work harder and develop better - they progress together.
Anyone up for a Biggest Loser Competition?
Just a thought. Probably a silly one.
I am 6' 1'' and 195lbs. I have never yet had a problem with weighing more than I cared to.
Some of that is skinny Scottish highland genes, an active lifestyle and I try not to eat more than 2/3rds of my stomachs fill.
Every overweight person that I know well enough to share a meal with, eats more than I do. The reason I speak of this is that if they bring up being overweight and I mention that they consistently eat more than I do when we are together, every last one of them will flatly deny it.
I know we all have our own stuff. Curtail my input of a visual medium and I can get snarly pretty fast so I am not saying I am better than anyone else. What interests me is the apparent inability of my weightier friends to not accurately know how much they eat.
Perhaps I have the same issues with acknowledging how much time I spend in front of my own one eyed god.
Any observations of the same?
I read something today that made a lot of sense to me. "The ability to move your body efficiently (barring any actual disability) is one of the most fundamental functions of the human being. Anything that disables this function is not healthy. If you cannot move your body in a healthy manner, you are not healthy. This is why "fat" and "healthy" cannot be in the same sentence together. Obesity cripples the ability to move, so it belongs in the same category as the other conditions: it is a health crisis no matter how comfortable or accepting a large person is of his/her body."
I tend to agree with that. I try not to judge because I don't know what has lead to someone being overweight and they may very well have health conditions that contribute to that. But overall, most people could do something about it and choose not to. What their reasons are are really no business of mine, and I don't like or dislike people based on how they look. But I think most of the time someone saying they think it's ok to be overweight, even if it means their bodies do not function normally, is in denial over their true state of health. It has nothing to do with how you look, and everything to do with your health.
I used to brag how metabolically active I was when I was younger. Now, in midlife, I am ashame. My metabolism is slower. Though I am ashame, I am accepting this and try to work ways to boost this up. During depression, while others like to eat, I don't. This slows my metabolism. Thus, a way to boost this is to eat when I'm hungry and in small amount, the right portion, to let the stomach know that it needs to do its job of digestion.
If I can't exercise, I should stretch. Exercise before bed time (~30) helps boost that metabolism while resting. If I can have a consistent routine, a habit, then motivation is less of a factor because it is in the habit...my mind wouldn't resist it as hard.
Anyway, I am not fat or am I skinny. I am within 5 pounds of my acceptable height and weight. But, I would like to be more tone and leaner since most clothes don't look good on me unless I am at my right weight. At the moment, I am on the balance with motivation and depression and working around it. The mentality that you have to look your best just for the interview keeps me motivated.
Instead, I will post the links anyone can read and understand to further educate themselves regarding Fat/Being Fat in America, and the cultural bullying Fat people endure.
Please don't be a party to media-fueled bigotry and bias against others.
LEARN the TRUTH.
http://fiercefatties.com/2012/05/22/whats-happenin/
http://www.bigfatfacts.com/
http://www.haescommunity.org/index.php
http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/
http://www.britannica.com/blogs/2009/12/top-10-obesity-myths/
http://drdeah.com/
With some Googling and effort you can find many many more sites that promote self-acceptance, self-respect and respect for others - no what HOW much one weighs.
I find it very disappointing to find anti-fat rhetoric and bigotry here on a "Buddhist" forum.
Disappointed, but I am really not that surprised. :-(
Thin/average size people get diabetes as well.
Thin/average size people get cancer, heart disease, hypertension, COPD, asthma, arthritis, and and every other disease known to man.
There is not one single solitary disease that ONLY fat/obese people get, and thin people do not. Being fat can (and yes, sometimes does) raise the RISK of developing certain diseases - but the significance of that rise - percentage wise - is MINIMAL.
Thin/average people who engage in certain practices and activities (compulsive dieting, exercising, hiking, running, contact sports, binge eating/bulimia, anorexia, etc) also raise their risk for certain health issues and diseases. Yet, our culture doesn't hold it against them, now do we? Why not?
Well, because they "look good" so we ASSUME they are healthy in their lifestyle and diet, even when they are not.
Fat Shaming has become a cultural meme and it needs to be stopped. Most people don't even realize they do it... until they learn about the other ways to think and perceive others of larger size (fat people).
Judging someone else's 'health' based on their weight and concluding they must be lazy and/or just 'don't care' about their health - is fat shaming language and thought, and frankly non of your/anyone's business.
OK I said I wasn't going to do this, but I did. *sigh* It's a tough subject for me to ignore....
And my diabetic son is 3 years old and is a type 1 diabetic. It has nothing to do with his lifestyle. I was only making the point that just loving yourself and accepting yourself doesn't change anything with regards to the risks to your health. If you cannot move your body in the way it's meant to move, you aren't healthy. I know, I've been there, and the last thing I was, was healthy. I couldn't walk up the stairs without my knees hurting. I couldn't play with my kids because I was too awkward to run after them. I had no shame in eating half a container of ice cream in one sitting, just because I wanted to.
I know people who look fit, aren't always healthy. I've studied health and nutrition all my life. Nothing I say has anything to do with how fat people look. A lot of it IS choice. Not always, but often. I chose to not be active. I chose to eat badly. I decided to make different choices. That doesn't mean everyone has HAS to or SHOULD do it. But choosing to not do so doesn't make one healthy. And in so far as how it affects our society and our insurance rates and everything, it is everyone's business any time a health crisis of any sort affects the country/world as a whole because it affects everyone else, too. The risks aren't as minimal as you'd like to believe. People who are obese receive far, far more health care than the average fit and healthy person.
Even blaming genetics is losing ground, because genetics can be changed on cellular levels to decrease your risk factors, by changing your diet.
Our culture aims to sell - this issue is spun to sell - diets, low fat food, research funding, tax - you name it... if there is a 'problem' you can be pretty sure that soon there will be profit from it.
Its remains however that the equation is very simple for the broad majority - calories in > calories out = gain weight.
There is a multitude of reasons for why people cannot easily address this issue - as there is a multitude of reasons why people cannot easily address any issue! I have trained with a number of people who have had high %'s of body fat and all of them have lost considerable amounts of weight by just eating sensibly, regulating their portion size and doing more stuff.
I wouldnt say that anyone should lose weight - if youre happy with how you look and feel then more power to you.
If this is sending a wrong message by trying to participate in a forum, then I beg forgiveness. This is a Buddhist forum. We are tyring to help each other, IMHO.
Thank you and Metta!
I know "large" people who are quite healthy - they run, they play sports, they can do anything a "thin" person can do. I've seen "thin" people who are quite unhealthy, but that's not really the point. The debate should not be about what a person looks like, but about the overall health of one's body.
But that is exactly the point. Size does not = overall HEALTH.
Point is; Other people's "health" (or lack of it) should not be up for debate by ANYONE. You can't tell if a fat person is trying to care for their health and in turn are healthy - or not healthy - in spite of trying.
This isn't about how specifically you (the general "you") FEELS about being fat or fearing being fat. This is about not judging anyone, for any reason, on any level, because they LOOK fat (or are fat) and/or "unhealthy" to you.
There are many many thin people who "Feel fat" and engage in terrible habits, eating disorders and addictions because they "feel fat", but really aren't fat.
Nor is it about 'excusing' some people to be fat ("Well, he/she has a medical condition that made her gain weight" etc) and not excusing others.
Size acceptance websites can explain all this to you and the sites I listed above have SCIENTIFIC STUDIES to back up what they say. Especially Freething Fierce Fatties, and DancesWithFat sites. These people are educated and very well informed.
They also have no links to, or funding from, weight loss companies or the like-- which is where MOST studies come from that you are all paraphrasing.
I think you, MaryAnne, are reading more into what is being said than is being said. I personally could care less if someone is short, tall, fat, skinny or whatever. The health implications are there for people who are obese. Just like they are there for those who smoke too much, drink too much and do too many drugs. I am not hating on fat people, or judging them. I feel the same about smokers, and I have some very close friends who are smokers. They'll be happy to tell you how I feel about how it affects their health, the health of those around them, and our country's grossly out of control heath costs.
You are assuming larger people aren't being accepted, and that's not the case. My only opinion that differs from what you have said is that you can be fat, and healthy. Overall, you cannot. There are always exceptions, you can be fat and not entirely unhealthy. You can be thin and horribly unhealthy. You can be all sorts of ranges of sizes and health levels. But you cannot find a person who is 400 pounds and claim they are healthy. It is impossible because the human body is not designed to weigh that much. Maybe they don't have heart disease. Yet. Or diabetes. Yet. But their muscles, bones, joints, ligaments-their entire body structure is unhealthy and will fail over time if they do not fix their weight problem.
The reason? Because even though I'm fat, I still exercise and I still take care of my body. I do cardio and strength training, I eat a balanced diet, I take care of myself. I even recently lowered my cholesterol significantly after adopting the HAES approach. And do you know how much weight I've lost since adopting these lifestyle changes? Zero pounds. Much of that has to do with the exchange of muscle with fat, but externally — what you see and what society judges — has not changed appreciably.
The fact is, you cannot tell by looking at someone how healthy they are. By doing so, you are engaging in superficial judgments and stereotypes. The exhaustive work of Dr. Steven Blair has shown over the four decades that he has studied this issue that fat people who are active are just as metabolically healthy as thin people who are active and, on the other side of that coin, regardless of whether you're thin or fat, being sedentary causes metabolic damage.
"Yes, but if you were active AND you lost weight, you'd be so much healthier." That may be, but the overwhelming history of research shows that there is no weight loss approach that leads to significant (greater than 10% of your starting weight) long-term (greater than two years) weight loss. That's why people rely on anecdotal evidence, rather than the mountains of data that support this fact.
Health at Every Size does not teach that all fat people are healthy. It encourages you to disconnect health from BMI, and to focus on the behaviors, rather than the number on the scale. If you incorporate healthy behaviors and you lose weight, great! If not, great! Your health will still improve dramatically. And unlike the weight-based paradigm of health, there are demonstrable benefits and objective outcomes that you can count on as you care for and strengthen your body, which encourage people to continue those behaviors. People who focus on losing weight as the primary objective for improving their health will inevitably find themselves unable to push their weight any lower, and then give up whatever healthy behaviors they've adopted.
Stop making assumptions about what fat people can and can't do, or how healthy they are. The fact is, you don't know and by judging others by their body size, you are harming that person in the same way that other forms of discrimination harm the discriminated.
Weight loss is a dead-end for most people, but health is not. And until we learn to distinguish between the two, we will never be able to make peace with our bodies.
Peace,
Shannon
Wow, What a surprise to see you here! Thank you for stopping in. I almost didn't check this thread because it usually upsets me when I can't be as precise and well documented in my replies as I'd like.
But you, you knight in large, beautiful, shining armor, as usual you took the lead. Thank you!
And this:
People who focus on losing weight as the primary objective for improving their health will inevitably find themselves unable to push their weight any lower, and then give up whatever healthy behaviors they've adopted.
is just as false as the things you say are false. Does EVERYONE who seeks to lose weight for health succeed? Nope. But a lot of people do.
You see what you want to see. And so far, you have only shared what you have seen in terms of anecdotal evidence. You saw one really fat guy who was out of breath and that has become your go-to example. But as I said, people who are the size of Biggest Loser contestants are very rare (0.42% of the population), yet you claim this man is "representative of most of what I see."
Same thing with weight loss. You believe it is possible because you only see those who succeed and dismiss the outliers as a fraction of those who try. You say that "a lot of people" succeed at weight loss. But where is your evidence?
For every anecdote you share, I can provide you with a long-term study that shows that the vast majority of people do not succeed at losing weight, and those who do don't lose much.
Although it is only a small sample of what's out there, I share some of the research in this post: http://fiercefatties.com/2012/06/26/big-time-hustler
I have to say that if this site is for Buddhists and by Buddhists, then I'm disappointed in the judgmental attitudes I have seen in this thread. And I thought Buddhists were taught to see through the illusions, yet so many cling to the illusion that weight loss is possible for most fat people. How disappointing.
Peace,
Shannon