Mother's Day - for those whose Mom's have passed

BonsaiDoug

For those of us whose Moms have passed on, I offer this poem by
Vietnamese Zen Buddhist Master, Ven. Thích Nhất Hạnh:

That year, although I was still very young
my mother left me,
and I realized that I was an orphan,

everyone around me was crying,
I suffered in silence...
Allowing the tears to flow,
I felt my pain soften.

Evening enveloped
Mother's tomb,
the pagoda bell rang sweetly.
I realized that to lose your mother
is to lose the whole universe.

andyrobyn

Thanks for posting this BonsaiDoug.
When my mother died 6 years ago I had a similar experience of conceiving myself as an orphan now, at 42 years of age ; my parents had a nasty divorce which seperated me from my father at 18 years and he died just over 2 years later.
Although my relationship with her had been difficult, I recall feeling that the universe was very different now and that everything " should " stop for just one moment as my mother had gone.
Although I am not generally a fan of Venerable Thích Nhất Hạnh's writings, I can relate to this poem.
Wishing all a happy mother's day for Sunday ...

genkaku

Part of the sadness at losing someone near and dear is, I think, that we are forced into the position of being ... what? ... the grown-up perhaps. What was relied on in so many little and large ways, in love and in anger, is now no longer ... or so it seems.

It is, at first, as if there were no way forward, no way to be without this integral part of our tapestries. And yet, with the softness of time, a little at a time, perhaps, it becomes clear that we could not be who we are without those who left us without a backward glance. We are, in fact, what is no longer and thus what is no longer lives on as surely as a kiss.

We are our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends and enemies, whether departed or not. It has nothing to do with poetically dabbing our tears or sewing up a broken heart. It has to do with the way things are and the way things are is ... well ... OK. OK to love, OK to remember, OK to weep, OK to smile, OK to be angry, OK to feel grateful ... Just OK.

andyrobyn

As I said to my cousin, Dee when she was struggling with her last breaths in the hospital bed, it has to be ok, doesn't it?
I smile now as I remember her smile ( twisted from the stroke and pain ) as she nodded at me then stopped the struggle.

Floating_Abu

Part of the sadness at losing someone near and dear is, I think, that we are forced into the position of being ... what? ... the grown-up perhaps. What was relied on in so many little and large ways, in love and in anger, is now no longer ... or so it seems.

It is, at first, as if there were no way forward, no way to be without this integral part of our tapestries. And yet, with the softness of time, a little at a time, perhaps, it becomes clear that we could not be who we are without those who left us without a backward glance. We are, in fact, what is no longer and thus what is no longer lives on as surely as a kiss.

We are our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends and enemies, whether departed or not. It has nothing to do with poetically dabbing our tears or sewing up a broken heart. It has to do with the way things are and the way things are is ... well ... OK. OK to love, OK to remember, OK to weep, OK to smile, OK to be angry, OK to feel grateful ... Just OK.

Floating_Abu