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We already know this, but: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

BonsaiDougBonsaiDoug Simply, on the path. Veteran
edited May 2012 in Buddhism Basics
Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk
Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change
Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels
Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses
Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment
This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

From: http://www.purposefairy.com

Comments

  • *resists smart ass comment* :)

    Thanks.
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    *resists smart ass comment* :)

    Thanks.
    Me too... :p
  • BonsaiDougBonsaiDoug Simply, on the path. Veteran
    Perhaps you guys should have made the comment, 'cause you've sure lost me on this one. Perhaps I'm just a bit more thick this morning than normal. :-/
  • No!!! Sorry @BonsaiDoug, I didn't mean to be rude.

    I am just not that into the psychological advice stuff that much these days so :o

    My smart ass comment was going to be something like 'Give up listening to advice columns' but that was purely for fun :vimp:

    I think the article has some good points.

    Good morning to you, Sir!

    Abu
  • BonsaiDougBonsaiDoug Simply, on the path. Veteran
    edited May 2012
    I am just not that into the psychological advice stuff that much these days so :o
    Tend to agree, but so many of those listed sure seemed Buddhist-related, or related to our path, that I thought I'd post 'em.

    Be well.
  • ethereaetherea Veteran
    You're list is great (and relevant) but Floating Abu did make me laugh ;)
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    It's a good list, but what came to my mind as I read it was that at least in some instances, it goes too far.
  • DaltheJigsawDaltheJigsaw Mountain View Veteran
    Thank you!
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think The liminal space Veteran
    I think I've given up on 3 of them or maybe never really had them to begin with. *Some related self-defeating statement.*
  • It's a great list. Who wrote it?
  • misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a Hindu India Veteran
    nice list, thanks for sharing :thumbsup:
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran
    Thanks. Great list but I confess there are a couple I could go without giving up.

    #2 I agree with to an extent but I cannot turn a blind eye to cruelty or the like.

    #7 leaves me feeling the same. I try not to find fault but if somebody were to spread hatred I would speak out against them.

    #10 I agree with but I wouldn't equate it with labels. I like labels. Without duality which is what we use to label the various aspects, we cannot explore this world we are.

    Also the past isn't something Id strive to get rid of.

    The rest I find very relevant nd think Ill post them on my nightstand.
  • 16. Give up numbered lists.
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    16. Give up numbered lists.
    17. Give up.... :p
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran
    Once we have them down, letting go of numbered lists is likely helpful but the dharma consists largely of numbered lists.
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    ...the dharma consists largely of numbered lists.

    You're right - and those lists are plenty to be getting on with... ;)
  • Thanks @BonsaiDoug, you know we just playing with ya too and appreciate you bringing this article :o
  • but the dharma consists largely of numbered lists.
    But this one is hilarious - danke!
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran
    but the dharma consists largely of numbered lists.
    But this one is hilarious - danke!
    Just responding with logic but am glad you got a kick out of it.


  • No offence, it just struck ma' funny bone today

    _/\_
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