Working through the hindrances...
Hey, guys. I just like to post my daily ponderings/findings from meditating. Feel free to comment (or not) if you've experienced some of the same things and have some advice.
Today, my mind was pretty occupied with restlessness and pain from sitting. The pain sensations start from my right glute and usually travel up my right leg. It's a gnawing churn that increases and decreases in intensity, over and over. From this sensation, I begin to anticipate how long my meditation will be and how I'll have to sit with this pain. From that reaction, I feel restlessness and anxiety.
Sometimes, I'll experience hot flashes and feel a tinge in the pit of my stomach. However, everything soon subsides and I'm back to the physical sensations of discomfort.
Sometimes, I tend to give in to my aversive nature while experiencing these "loops." See: more anxiety/restlessness.
Jumping off topic: is it just me, or is it sometimes very difficult to find a point of reference in which to fall into mindfulness throughout the day? It's hard to peel my attention off of whatever thoughts are careening through my brain and allow them to pass, untouched.
I'll notice that the same song has been playing in my head over and over (and over) all day long. Sometimes, that frustrates me.
I'm going to try to not drink beer this weekend. However, every time that thought arises in my mind, I'm very cautious to entertain it and/or tell someone. I'm afraid that I will fail and appear incongruent or weak. Today, I've caught myself actively pushing away the thought of telling that to my girlfriend. My cravings tend to get the best of me when I'm confronted with boredom or restlessness.
Hopefully, abstaining from drinking beer will allow me to be mindful and confront the mechanics of the cravings.