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Living in the now is affecting my work.
I thought I would like to share a conversation I had at work today with a fellow work colleague. I work in a retail environment, I am a part of a team of 4 regional managers that look after numerous stores, growing and developing young managers. I have really enjoyed my job, but of late I have been judged more and more on my so called lack of importance to attend to matters, and one colleague in particular needed to have a conversation with me today, how he felt that I was being dismissive in some of things he talks to me about or even requests he has asked me to do for him.
During the conservation I was sitting there listening to his frustrations, I was thinking compassionately how he was suffering and I had caused this in some way, which again made him feel I wasnt caring by the way I wasnt showing any real concern. I told him that I needed time to understand how he was feeling and would catch up tomorrow with him again, which he happily has agreed with.
So after processing and reflecting on the conversation I had today, I have realised the way I have become more and more aware of living in the now an not concerning my thoughts with the past and the future is affecting others, unfortunitly not in a positive way.
For example I had said to him 2 weeks ago when he asked who are you going to replace as manager in that store when Chris leaves, I said oh I don't know, I don't think that far ahead, Chris may not leave for another 2 to 3 months, and continued on bringing the conversation back into the now. Then the other day he said we may have to terminate one of the staff members in one of the stores, for making racists remarks, I said with compassion and sincerity oh did he, did he give a reason why he said it. I don't know I haven't spoken to him only heard it from one of the other staff, ok I said maybe we need to make sure it's not just gossip and again bought the conversation into the now.
The last month I have been thinking more and more of leaving my job, it's a very demanding job that has a lot of planning around what the If's. Also the amount of compassion I try and give daily to all my staff, leaves me exhausted and leaves with no compassion for myself or others outside of my workplace.
So am I being dismissive?
Am I being dismissive to his lack of understanding of what is causing his own suffering?
Do I need to elaborate more in these situations?
Would love to here anyone's thoughts or any advise you may have
During the conservation I was sitting there listening to his frustrations, I was thinking compassionately how he was suffering and I had caused this in some way, which again made him feel I wasnt caring by the way I wasnt showing any real concern. I told him that I needed time to understand how he was feeling and would catch up tomorrow with him again, which he happily has agreed with.
So after processing and reflecting on the conversation I had today, I have realised the way I have become more and more aware of living in the now an not concerning my thoughts with the past and the future is affecting others, unfortunitly not in a positive way.
For example I had said to him 2 weeks ago when he asked who are you going to replace as manager in that store when Chris leaves, I said oh I don't know, I don't think that far ahead, Chris may not leave for another 2 to 3 months, and continued on bringing the conversation back into the now. Then the other day he said we may have to terminate one of the staff members in one of the stores, for making racists remarks, I said with compassion and sincerity oh did he, did he give a reason why he said it. I don't know I haven't spoken to him only heard it from one of the other staff, ok I said maybe we need to make sure it's not just gossip and again bought the conversation into the now.
The last month I have been thinking more and more of leaving my job, it's a very demanding job that has a lot of planning around what the If's. Also the amount of compassion I try and give daily to all my staff, leaves me exhausted and leaves with no compassion for myself or others outside of my workplace.
So am I being dismissive?
Am I being dismissive to his lack of understanding of what is causing his own suffering?
Do I need to elaborate more in these situations?
Would love to here anyone's thoughts or any advise you may have
0
Comments
Compassion is defined as a mind that wishes for the elimination of suffering for others it is not a burden to carry around it is a joy and makes the mind feel light and peaceful.
The mind of Self cherishing is what actually causes you problems where as if you are more experienced with developing loving kindness and compassion the mind of self cherishing will be reduced and you will feel much better.
Can I ask where you receive your meditation instruction and which teacher you practice with ?
If you have a job and fill your mind with "compassion" and "mindfulness," that's not doing your job.
There's a balance to it all; stay focussed when you're performing a task, rather than allowing distractions, but when appropriate, plan for the future, and learn from the past.
There's also a balance between compassion for others and for self. If you let yourself burn out because you're always giving to others, what good will you be to others in the long run?
Seek the Middle Way.
This realisation doesn't preclude planning for the imaginary future. Although the wise say " The future is uncertain", they continue to perform their duties.
Work and relationships are where mostof the work takes place. Often times we may change something big like our job and then find the same problems somewhere else. It seems that unles you have worked with the changes in yourself awhile then it is unclear if it is this particular job or something you are bringing with you to your job. If you can I would keep learning through this, (plus there is that crappy economy). You are certainly not being a horrible manager by caring and feeling compassion, remember the intention is what is really important, you are just in a refinement process.
But not clinging to the past and future does not mean that you don't think about them or have no concern for them. If you have a job that requires planning for the what if's of the future, that does not prevent you from "being in the now".
In your position, proper decision making skills are a must (you seem to have a good heart; that's a plus). A business swims or sinks depending on the process they have in place for making decisions (there are a number of them - you have to pick the right one). Managers, in fact, can make very poor decisions (and often do) being encumbered by certain cognitive biases, etc. Btw, my favorite decision making expert dude is Dr. Michael A. Roberto. You might enjoy his blog: http://michael-roberto.blogspot.com/
Don't leave your job.
Are there any tricks/devices to jumpstart a new mode of mindfulness that others perhaps use??
Many thanks.
Zen counsels to just REGARD outside objects and situations, but with TASKS one needs to deeply analyze things.
Again, the two modes and an effective,mindful, quick, transition is perplexing.
“The pure light in a moment of awareness in your mind is the Buddha’s essence within you. The non-discriminating light in a moment of awareness in your mind is the Buddha's wisdom within you. The undifferentiated light in a moment of awareness in your mind is the Buddha's manifestation within you.”
For the average worldling their moment is a freeze frame of lightless samsara followed by another, forever. They never see the light because they are blinded by the here and now of impermanence, suffering and insubstantiality.
“The pure light in a moment of awareness in your mind is the Buddha’s essence within you. The non-discriminating light in a moment of awareness in your mind is the Buddha's wisdom within you. The undifferentiated light in a moment of awareness in your mind is the Buddha's manifestation within you.”
For the average worldling their moment is a freeze frame of lightless samsara followed by another, forever. They never see the light because they are blinded by the here and now of impermanence, suffering and insubstantiality.
Yes really!
"Life is available only in the present. That is why we should walk in such a way that every step can bring us to the here and the now." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
“The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
"The so-called present is every man's now. When now we think a past and future, myriad times are the present. They are the now. The original nature of man is the present." ~Dogen Zenji, Shobogenzo, Daigo
“To live in peace and harmony, become yourself as you really are in the present moment as it really is.” ~ Dainin Katagiri Roshi
There are many others.
Those who believe the Buddha taught only the conditioned which is absent of self, finite, and painful are deluding themselves. Such a view, I must say, doesn't comport with the Vimanavatthu which, incidentally, is part of the suttapitaka.
In a moment we can pass through the gateless gate realizing the clear light Mind. In the same moment, we can continue our spiritual blindness which leads to another moment of samsara followed by many more such moments.
There is no choice.
Despite Tolle the present is no more real than the past or future. all things arise in mutual dependance..
Maybe not a contradiction. I take "blinded" meaning their clinging to their suffering however it manifests itself.
Side note: isn't insubstantiality another word for impermenence? To me the three marks are dukkha, annata and aniccha. One's blindness and resistance to these truths only keeps the wheel turning. Maybe that was what he getting at. I don't know