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A chapter in my life is done
Jerbear
Veteran
Hello all!
As some of you know, I work as a nurse in an ICU. Due to circumstances beyond my control, it has come time for me to resign from my position. At first, I was kind of sad. I am going to miss my coworkers and friends at work. But I have had a long term internal battle going on inside about the ethics of ICU. It's a wonderful unit and the best thing if you are critically ill and there is hope for recovery. But what usually happens is that many older people come in to the unit for the last year of their life and are subjected to so many inhumane treatments, and many painful. Then, if they go into cardiac arrest, we resuscitate them. I have always followed doctor's orders whether I agreed or not.
It has been very difficult for me philosophically. I am so glad that I no longer have to think of those situations. I actually sat at the desk last night and did a crossword puzzle. I normally am all over my patients and their needs. I'm sure I will continue to do so in whatever type of nursing I do. A yoke has been lifted from me. I hope never to do ICU again. I think I'm developing too much bad karma there. I'm sure the good outweighs it but what a way to do it.
Now, maybe I can focus on my practice a bit more.
As some of you know, I work as a nurse in an ICU. Due to circumstances beyond my control, it has come time for me to resign from my position. At first, I was kind of sad. I am going to miss my coworkers and friends at work. But I have had a long term internal battle going on inside about the ethics of ICU. It's a wonderful unit and the best thing if you are critically ill and there is hope for recovery. But what usually happens is that many older people come in to the unit for the last year of their life and are subjected to so many inhumane treatments, and many painful. Then, if they go into cardiac arrest, we resuscitate them. I have always followed doctor's orders whether I agreed or not.
It has been very difficult for me philosophically. I am so glad that I no longer have to think of those situations. I actually sat at the desk last night and did a crossword puzzle. I normally am all over my patients and their needs. I'm sure I will continue to do so in whatever type of nursing I do. A yoke has been lifted from me. I hope never to do ICU again. I think I'm developing too much bad karma there. I'm sure the good outweighs it but what a way to do it.
Now, maybe I can focus on my practice a bit more.
0
Comments
what was 7 down six letters.....? :thumbsup:
Thanks Fede,
It fit!
I'm so happy for you, Jerry, and excited for your new life. I've also been meaning to tell you how important I think home care and hospice care is for the terminally ill. Finding the best way to die for my parents and myself may be the most important issue I will ever face and I must have the truest information possible. I've always had my doubts about spending the last part of life in an ICU and would much rather die at home. Home care in Canada is on the rise because it's less expensive than ICU or regular hospital care and I support it with everything I have. All my instincts tell me that's the way to go. If I could provide my parents with a relatively comfortable death I would be very, very relieved.
If you end up getting a job in home care I think that would be wonderful for you, your patients and their families. I can't think of anything more comforting. But no matter where you go you're going to bring your shining light with you. A million blessings to you and your loving heart, Jerry.
it could have been D-H-A-R-M-A..... or even S-A-N-G-H-A...... See....? They all fit.....
Like a glove!
Infectious, though, isn't it.....?
I know sorta how you feel. Terminal care (Paliative care....like their going to get better!!) takes alot outa you. Emotional support is little if any. I just hope that you stay with us in the nursing department as the world needs us!!!!!!! Good luck mate..
GOOD one! My brain's blocked, can't get any of them out.
Esau,
I couldn't agree more! Millions and millions of blessings to nurses everywhere.
From the dream dictionary-yoke
Definition: Seeing a yoke in your dream means your unwillingness to conform to the customs and wishes of others.. Dreaming that you are yoking an oxen indicates that your advice and counsel will be accepted by a friend or family member. Dreaming that you fail to yoke an oxen indicates your worry for someone in your life.
other definitions
-become joined or linked together
-union
How about palzan......g - ooops!
Palzng
My brother in law just passed away from melanoma very quickly (2 months) and some of his time was spent in the ICU. The nurses there, like you, had to follow directions. But their kindness and concern more than made up for any dumb things that happened. They had a kind of sensitivity we did not see in the rest of the hospital very much.
I think ICU work must be very very hard. There is a constant level of anxiety and fear that can flow there, and families are more often than not extremely upset with all their problems. So I think it sounds like it is a good idea to take a break once in a while from that sort of environment. Not many people have the whatever it takes to do that for a liftetime. Thanks for doing it for as long as you did. And congratulations for knowing that it was time to move. Stepping out like that will give other things a chance to happen, and I will imagine only the best, quietest, and happy place for you to work.
Blessings to you on your path!
ECM
My heartfelt sympathy for your loss.
One interesting thing that I noticed and I have wondered if there is a trend. If you look at palliative care staff, particularly those attached to or working in hospices for the dying, most of those whom I have met have come from either ITU (nursing staff) or general practice (palliative care consultants). Perhaps this is the natural progression: towards the philosophy which puts the sufferer at the centre of concern and enables the natural transition of death to occur in the best possible circumstances.
-bf
Palzang
Namaste,
Kim
Esau, it sure is rewarding more than the pay check. I try to remember that.
ECM, my heart goes out to you. It is ever so difficult to lose a loved one to cancer. I hope his passing was as peaceful as possible for all involved. Having just lost my father last month to unknown causes, I sort of understand what your family and self are going through at the moment. May waves of metta wash over all of you.
All,
I learned something very interesting. I don't have much compassion for psychiatric patients. I try, but it isn't easy. I had a gentleman swallow a caustic substance and trying to be compassionate wasn't easy as he was on the call light constantly. He had a diagnosis of a mental illness and when I heard it initially I thought "DUH?!!!!! Then it hit me "This man is suffering more than I can imagine at the moment. How can I be of help?". It actually worked. I was able to remain calm with him all night long. So it is possible to remain compassionate under strange circumstances.
So, it's on the job hunt now. I'm not worried about it. Already saw a few online worth applying for. And I may be able to work full time again. YIPPPEEEE!!!!
Best wishes.
love to you all.
Just as you leave ITU/ICU nursing i'm looking to get into it.
Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.
Last month was a real learning opportunity. The first week had the wedding of my sister, the second had the death of my brother in law (he leaves two boys, one 14 and one 21, and his wife) the third week was the wedding of my daughter, and the fourth the burial of the ashes of my father in law who passed away in December. Happy sad, happy sad, up down, up down.
I recently heard someone say that we share these things and when the other person/people are as sad as we are, then we feel better. ( ! ) I think there is real cultural truth in that. At least for the west. (Not sure about the east. I will ask my friends when I go back at the end of July. My Chinese friends who heard about it wrote me beautiful letters urging me not to be too sad. )
I think I have been more sad about my nephew losing his Dad than about the death itself. But then as soon as I say that I hear a voice protesting in my mind. A death in the 50's years is too soon. The whole thing is tragic and has left me a little numb. I look forward to time passing and things becoming more normal and not so intense. This is why I practice.
So what do you think about sharing with others when things are difficult? If the other person suffers with you, do you feel better? If they don't offer much consolation, does it make a difference? I am curious to hear your answers.
Clouds of brightness to you all,
ECM
When I tell someone about something sad in my life I don't want them to feel as sad as I do. That wouldn't make me feel better at all. I would want them to show empathy, understanding and compassion but I wouldn't want them to be affected in a negative way by my experience. I'd rather get letters like the ones you got from your Chinese friends urging me not to be too sad. That sounds good and healthy to me.
Maybe it has to do with the way we perceive the world -- the ones who feel things with their five senses and the ones who use their mind. Two ends of the spectrum. If one tends to perceive the world through the mind, then hearing those sad stories doesn't have the same visceral effect as for someone who perceives the world using the five senses.
I am someone who feels things in their senses -- mind comes later. So when someone tells me something sad, I feel it. The thinking part is delayed. So, something sad will make me sad. It seems to be harmonic.
I was thinking about the funeral director who helped us get my brother in law cremated. He was so kind, and very verbal about how difficult it was, and almost seemed to suffer along with us. I was listening to a program on the internet about death and old age, and the person was talking about this -- how if the other person seems to be as upset and sad as you are, how it gives that feeling of having been heard, and that makes you feel better.
Time to run -- I will write more later --
Thanks Brigid!
ECM