Opinions/help with choosing life path

Sabby

So, I want to live my live in service of others and i have decided to dedicate my life in this manner. I have been involved in Buddhism now for the past 3 years and I am seriously considering monkhood. Recently, I have been second guessing myself in this choice because of the fact that I'm not sure I would be able to help as many people if i choose this path as if I was to join International Aid groups/volunteer positions and many other sorts of ways of putting others before myself. I know that if i become a monk that I will be able to eventually teach and also I know they do plenty of work but I am concerned that if i do choose the path of monkhood all of the people that I could have helped and made a difference with I may miss out on.

I really do realize the importance of focusing on my consciousness and following the path of the Buddha and Buddhism in this lifetime, but at the same time i see dedicating my life for the aid of others to be equally important.

Does anyone have any insight or share similiar experience? Thank you so much.

Wisdom23

I think whatever we choose in life if we are dedicated we will be able to help others. I work in an FE college and help students with sen. Choose what suits you, whatever takes your fancy. Once your settled you can take a look around and see who you can help.

Hope this helps.

chela

As a person who has always had a hard time making choices because I end up having anxiety over making the "right" decision, I am learning that it doesn't matter as much (in most cases) which decision is made, it's more important to stick to the decision and not dwell on the actual making of the decision. If we make a choice and then think so much about whether it was the right one or not, we haven't really MADE the choice and then it will be the "wrong" choice because we haven't dedicated ourselves to that decision. But, if you aren't ready to make a decision, give yourself time and space to let yourself settle on one. Don't be in a hurry and feeling that you are going to "miss out" on helping someone. You can help someone right now in some small way, regardless of your choice to become a monk or not. In other words, don't let your anxiety lead you.

karasti

May I ask how old you are? Would it be possible for you to do both? If you are younger, you might dedicate your younger years to something that requires more physical vigor-Peace Corp, or whatever you had in mind. Monkhood is always there. Perhaps you could ordain later in time when you aren't as likely to keep up with such vigors as other endeavors might require.

Keep in mind also that a lot of the major organizations such as Red Cross, Peace Corp and related areas require specific areas of expertise if you are to get paid or get a living expenses stipend to work with them. Unless you are independently wealthy it is rather difficult to just decide to volunteer for such a place, because they require you to pay your travel and living expenses on your own. Peace Corp usually requires a 4 year degree. If you are still at a stage in your life where you are contemplating education, that is something to keep in mind as well. A lot of people get discouraged when they find out just how costly it can be financially to dedicate your life to serving others.

Another good option might be to research agencies that are local to you and either help locally or fundraise to go on mission trips. Things like Habitat for Humanity and other such things.

In the end, I think once you decide, you will know for sure that is what you want to do. Life has a way of working out like that. When something is right, you know it.

misecmisc1

is it not better to first help yourself get rid of suffering and then help others to get rid of their suffering? moreover, helping yourself get rid of suffering helps both you and others.

Sabby

@Wisdom23 that is a good point, whatever path is chosen dedication is most important and the most crucial element if you want to help others. thankyou

@chela I can relate to you so much, as I am a very anxious person and also pinned as a indecisive person as well as youc an see - always trying to get as much help and opinions as possible before I make a choice. I'm trying to follow my intuition as much as i can though. I will let it sink in as much as possible and make my decision based on what I think is best and whatever i choose i will put my heart and soul into it. your opinion really helps, thankyou

@karasti I am 21 years old, 22 next month. I know exactly what you are talking about that volunteering can be expensive etc. based on my previous research and that was also a factor. I am done with my post secondary education now and i decided that what i took (biotechnology) wasn't right for me and want to dedicate myself now to what i feel truly represents me, instead of what i thought represented me. I do also agree that life has a way of working out and that maybe whatever choice I make will lead to where i am suppose to be. Thankyou

Sabby

@misecmisc1 - that is a good point. I guess i figured with other volunteer type work i can make an immediate improvement in one's life and maybe help a lot more people through out my life who need immediate assistance

karasti

I think helping others can be a great way to help alleviate your own suffering. Best of luck to you!

footiam

Sabby said:

So, I want to live my live in service of others and i have decided to dedicate my life in this manner. I have been involved in Buddhism now for the past 3 years and I am seriously considering monkhood. Recently, I have been second guessing myself in this choice because of the fact that I'm not sure I would be able to help as many people if i choose this path as if I was to join International Aid groups/volunteer positions and many other sorts of ways of putting others before myself. I know that if i become a monk that I will be able to eventually teach and also I know they do plenty of work but I am concerned that if i do choose the path of monkhood all of the people that I could have helped and made a difference with I may miss out on.

I really do realize the importance of focusing on my consciousness and following the path of the Buddha and Buddhism in this lifetime, but at the same time i see dedicating my life for the aid of others to be equally important.

Does anyone have any insight or share similiar experience? Thank you so much.

You can be of service to others wherever you are and whatever you are. You don't have to be a monk to be of service to others, especially if you are not sure of whether this is the path for you and you don't have to be in a templ too unless of course, you want to help spread Dhamma in a systematic way. Here, I heard of a school teacher who opted for early retirement so that he could do charity work in church. I thought there probably are more people to help in school than in church, what with all those hundreds, thousands of young kids that pass through school each year, all with their own special problems. You don't have to talk about kids from broken homes, or kids having relationship problems with parents, their siblings or friends but not being able to read and write is very much a problem in this modern world. Or are you aiming to be of service to the dejected, the homeless, handicapped or lepers perhaps?

Sabby

@footiam, i do agree with you in the fact that you can be of help in whatever you do,
part of the problem is that I feel going into the pure monastic life is more of a selfish path because of the fact I am seeking to free myself from suffering. Im not sure I feel that I should do this instead of not thinking about myself and instead do the best I can of helping other people even though while I can.

I know no one can make my mind up for me, but it is interesting to hear peoples perspectives.

Invincible_summer

With a degree in biotechnology, are you able to branch out into fields like Occupational Therapy or Physiotherapy?

I was (and still somewhat) am in a place like you - I had/have a strong urge to find a path where I can serve others. Monasticism isn't in the cards as I'm in a committed relationship, but I'm pursuing a diploma to become an occupational therapy assistant. I would be able to make a career of helping others through tough physical and emotional situations.

robot

Here is an inspirational quote for you. One of my favourites.


Anything is one of a million paths.
Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path;
if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions.
To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life.
Only then will you know that any path is only a path,
and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do.
But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition.

I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately.
Try it as many times as you think necessary.
Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question.
This question is one that only a very old man asks.

My benefactor told me about it once when I was young, and my blood was too vigorous for me to understand it.
Now I do understand it. I will tell you what it is: Does this path have a heart?
All paths are the same: they lead nowhere.
They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush.
In my own life I could say I have traversed long, long paths, but I am not anywhere.
My benefactor’s question has meaning now. Does this path have a heart?
If it does, the path is good; if it does not, it is of no use.

Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart the other does not.
One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it.
The other will make you curse your life.
One makes you strong; the other weakens you.

The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him.
At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path.

A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it.
On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.

For me there is only the traveling on paths that have a heart, or on any path that
may have heart.
There I travel… and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length.

And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. -Don Juan

From The Teachings of Don Juan, A Yaqui Way of Knowledge.
By Carlos Casteneda

Sabby

@Invincible_summer - that is wonderful and a great way to help others, especially because I have been a client in that field for a long time and appreciate that work very much! My diploma would not get me something like that but I am ok with that, and am ready to pursue other options because I am not in a committed relationship atm.

@robot - I wish i could love that a hundred times, thank you for that.