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Tathagata Glorious Soft-Love That Fills All Beings

personperson Don't believe everything you thinkThe liminal space Veteran
edited July 2013 in General Banter
Inspired by @lobster's prediction of emminent enlightenment I've decided on my eventual Buddha name. I don't suppose I'll get there this year or even this lifetime but when I do my name will be Tathagata Glorious Soft-Love That Fills All Beings.

I recently had a dream that stuck with me. In it I was in a locker room watching a coach trying to motivate a player by berating him in the style that tough coaches do. While he was doing this I had a sense and vision of a sword attacking the player. At some point I interrupted the coach and broke into a moving monologue. I showed the coach a bowl full of glowing pink liquid, it was love mojo, and showed him that he had one too. I then explained that we don't attack our friends with it we use it to fill them up. The coach saw the sense in this and was moved to repent his ways. I don't pretend to have this kind of sense when walking around in my waking life, but I suppose this was my subconscious mind or maybe the mind of the Buddhas expressing itself in a new way to me.

In trying to interpret this dream I compared the coaches method to what seems to often pass for tough love. I feel there is a tendency to just be mean or bullying and hide behind 'tough love' as a defense, really just tough without the love. Growing up the style my parents most often used was tough love but really was just bully parenting.

Tough love originated from helping addicts, seeing that they needed to reap the consequences of their actions in order to want to get out of addiction. I think that this makes sense and if the alternative is to prevent all the suffering that results from their addictive behavior then by all means be tough. For myself though that isn't really tough its wise love, you want the person to get out of addiction and in order to do that they usually need to feel its downside.

I think the distinction as to whether you are giving tough love or just being tough is when you see the toughee suffering from their actions do you feel mad at them for doing the wrong thing or do you feel sad for them for what they are going through and are you there to pick them up when they need it or do give them the 'rub some dirt in it' speech.

I don't really know if any of the above is right or not and I mostly wrote this to get this muse off my mind that's keeping me from getting to sleep. I just know how I was raised and want to do the opposite for others, I'd much rather fill others with my love than attack them with it.
VastmindriverflowsovaStraight_ManJeffrey

Comments

  • Dreams are parts of the self arising and becoming dominated by Soft-Love sounds a good filling. You will notice your Buddha expression is a more subtle version of your existing persona. Please no false modesty. If Buddhahood is possible for a runaway prince, anyone can do it, even Prince Charles.
    :wave:
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited April 2013
    :bawl:
    Gratitude for the teaching I received.

    There are a couple of my family members that
    I now realize....I have been mad at them for doing
    the wrong thing. I know I did a bit of dirt rubbing along
    the way.... Out of frustration... I couldn't make the
    turn into compassion...as far as the mental tool.
    This 'coaching' analogy made sense to me.

    Re: The article.
    My parents didn't bully me...but because they left
    me...to start 'another life'...I think I'm bullying them
    now. I'm being too tough on them now.

    May I show them more understanding and compassion.
    May I be able to fill them with love as they approach
    their last days. May I be a comfort to them.
    May my toughness turn to softness.
    May we be able to share the pink liquid with each other.
    :bawl:

    *wiping my snot away*

    Now...as far as your name...will that fit on the standard
    'Hello my name is......" sticker tag?
    riverflowpersonsovalobster
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    The Zen teacher Ta Hui (1089-1163) was once quoted approximately as saying, "I have always taken a great vow that I would rather suffer the fires of hell for all eternity than to portray Zen as a human emotion."
    lobsterInvincible_summer
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think The liminal space Veteran
    @lobster and @Vastminds thanks for the kind words. It's nice to know my words got some notice before slipping off into the void.

    @genkaku In TB there is a distinction between relative and ultimate bodhicitta. They don't make quite the dramatic distinction that Ta Hui does but its an important one for me to remember in relation to this post.
  • sovasova delocalized fractyllic harmonizing Veteran
    Very beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

  • @genkaku, that's interesting because bodhicitta is awakened heart. Emotions sound like they are part of your whole being. In the space of our awareness we have emotion. The wish to know. The wish to have everything, the wish for feelings, the wish to do, and the wish to just be.

    I experience emotional energy in my body, even depression is a feeling. I know it has to do with wanting. My feelings want something to feel good. Buy there is so much confusion and lack of skill and clarity and that makes my body feel bad. If I notice the depressing hurtful has sadness then it feels in my heart like a violin string radiating out from my heart.
  • If I notice the depressing hurtful has sadness then it feels in my heart like a violin string radiating out from my heart.
    If I may be so bold, to go off topic for a moment . . .
    I have mentioned this before.
    I once woke up depressed for no reason that I could not discern. There it was. This feeling. It felt real. How was its essence different, its independent nature or essence, different from happy?They are both arisings with a physical sensation. If we can discern physical sensation, we can become aware of its emptiness or even temporarily change its label.

    It is hard to accept, allow or sit with negativity. Heroic or even masochistic. This is why I would recommend finding the good sensations in the body, mind movies moments etc. They are empty too but bringing the mind to the breath. To the ease . . . well it is easier . . . :wave:

    It is like an eventual Buddha name.
    person will do
  • FlorianFlorian Veteran
    In my experience mothers can be a real test of ones equinimity ...

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    I'll second that.
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