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Generosity: Giving for it's own sake.

Lately I have been thinking about generosity and giving.

I would like to give for the pure joy of giving, not in order to buy love, or because I should, or because I consider it my duty. I am looking into how to cultivate generosity in myself. I would love to here people comments, advice etc

Thanks in advance

Comments

  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    Well by being generous and thinking of others. In communication perhaps make an effort to be sensitive to them. Give to charity. Hold doors open for people. Let others go first and let them eat the last cookie. :)

    That might be too obvious for your question. But giving naturally makes our fist go from tight to open.
    Vastmindriverflow
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    We are studying and taking vows of loving kindness,
    and being interconnected....,and we are empty....
    you have to practice it to be it.

    Who are you thinking of giving to?
    What are the circumstances?
    riverflowJeffrey
  • Whatever you do, don't forget to smile!
    Che
  • Invincible_summerInvincible_summer Heavy Metal Dhamma We(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
    I think it really helps to not think "There's this one type of giving that is ideal, and I should follow it." I think it just makes us feel bad about how we're falling short. Well, from my experience anyway.

    I feel that it's helpful to realize that our generosity is also contextual - if you hardly have any money for yourself, perhaps giving your money freely is not the best act of generosity as it will cause you lots of stress. If you have little time, it doesn't make sense to try to give the gift of your time because you may end up being resentful at how your generous act has turned into another time-sucking activity in your life.

    Just give what you can, when you can. It sounds like a convenience cop-out (and it can be), but I think that if you're in a situation where you feel like "Yeah, I can help out right now" and not have to schedule or think too much about it, then that's pretty genuine.

    Jeffreyriverflowpegembara
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    Yes someone has to receive for their to exist generousity. In the generosity paramita it is fused with the prajnaparamita (wisdom of non-grasping) and there is no giver, no gift, and no recipient. From that standpoint it is spontaneous.
  • To a large extent, it seems generosity is the result of wanting to make other people happy or to alleviate their suffering in some way or the other, whether its by giving love, gifts, friendly advice, time, etc. So generosity seems to be a direct result of compassion. So if you develop your compassion, this should lead to greater generosity.

    At the same time, I think it is also about lessening one's own desires for things, whether it is wanting more wealth, more time, more love. If we are too preoccupied with satisfying our own desires then we'll be less inclined to think about the welfare of other people. So by needing less, you'll be able to give more.
    JeffreyCinorjer
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    I would like to give for the pure joy of giving
    Start giving, where you get rewards. Try giving anonymously and feel virtuous. Give to your local temple. Give to beggars. Give your time. See that your capacity to give is in itself a bountiful place to be. You are lucky enough to give. So give. My Swiss Bank account details will follow shortly. :clap:
    John_SpencerChe
  • "Try giving anonymously"... again, @lobster, I like the cut of your jib.
  • graceleegracelee Veteran
    When I first got into Buddhism I became vegetarian and was very generous, kind etc but I think this kindness and concern for animals came from a head place not a heart place. ( if I am buddhist then I Should be vegetarian , I should be nice and kind etc) I suppose I want to connect with the joy of giving from my heart rather than a theoretical understanding of it's benefits.

    At work I can be lazy and I find it difficult to motivate myself to work hard even if this benefits others. I go through periods of trying to be giving and generous but I run out of steam.

    I have a strong tendencies towards selfishness.. its a difficult habit to turn around.
  • @gracelee - maybe you're being too hard on yourself. Compassion and wisdom are not two different things but merely different expressions of the same Buddhadharma.

    Its just like walking -- the left foot is wisdom and the right foot is compassion: you gain some new understanding and in doing so you gain in generosity, and that, in turn, leads to deeper insight, which leads to more compassion, etc. etc. You gain a little of each a little at a time, instead of "OK, I'm loaded up with knowledge, NOW I can do the compassion aspect really well!" It doesn't work that way and you end up only making things more difficult for yourself (I done this exact same thing myself!)

    So the main thing is to just keep walking on the path-- left foot, right foot; a little wisdom, a little compassion-- and not to look ahead to where you think you are going (or where you "should" be), but just the next step directly before you right here. You need both feet in order to walk.

    So you might start off overly self-conscious about giving at first, but as you practice it gradually becomes more natural until you don't think about it. That is normal when learning any new skills, like riding a bike, learning the piano, learning a new job... or a child learning to walk.
    graceleeInvincible_summerkarmablues
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    I have a strong tendencies towards selfishness.. its a difficult habit to turn around.
    Forget should.
    You can be generous to yourself.
    What acts of generosity do you get most emotional pleasure from?
    riverflowSillyPuttygracelee
  • SillyPuttySillyPutty Veteran
    edited May 2013
    I was about to reply with this, but @lobster beat me to the punch:
    lobster said:


    You can be generous to yourself.
    What acts of generosity do you get most emotional pleasure from?

    Also, @lobster mentioned something that I was going to bring up in my previous post, but forgot:
    lobster said:

    Try giving anonymously and feel virtuous.


    I was inspired to practice this very notion a couple years ago by this woman who runs this site called secretagentl.com. I used to print out her little "business card" notes from her website, and leave anonymous letters, gift cards, and other tiny things around the city when I'd go to work (I'd do it around my old suburban home as well, but it was harder to do... not as much opportunity to leave something lying around for some reason). It was a wonderful way to learn how to give without expecting anything in return-- not even an acknowledgement, since it is anonymous. If you have time, look through the website. It's one of the most lovely forms of "pay it forward" I have seen. It's fun to do and makes you feel good knowing that you made someone's day (especially if they were having a rough one to begin with). And thanks to your thread, I'm thinking of starting this up again, so thank you! :)
    gracelee
  • graceleegracelee Veteran
    Thanks riverflow! I am a perfectionist and sometimes it is difficult for me to see the process and instead I want to get results now.

    lobster... good question!....I love to make paintings for people and sharing in and encouraging creativity.... sharing and making food for people, making people laugh and probably a lot of other ways. It has been very useful to think about this, I can build on my strengths and develop generosity in ways that are natural for me.

    Thanks sillyputty... love the website! what a find, thanks for sharing(very generous of you) have you done any missions?... think this might be a new obsession :)
    riverflow
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    I love to make paintings for people and sharing in and encouraging creativity....
    Sounds generous to me . . .
    sharing and making food for people,
    wonderful
    making people laugh and probably a lot of other ways
    Sounds like you have some wonderful things to share . . .

    If you can give yourself joy in giving. Giving increases.
    . . . gosh this Buddhism can be so simple . . . :wave:
    JeffreyStraight_Man
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