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-I wasn't sure where to put this thread.- I really have to say something, and I really hope someone here can relate... definitely cannot have this discussion with anyone IRL.
The other day I was collecting some audio files of spoken buddhist sutras for listening while on cycling journeys. Among others, I found one of a long sutra that I had only browsed over in the past and not had much interest in ( not one that is particularly well known either. )
Later while relaxing I gave a portion of it a listen, not expecting much, more or less in a general research capacity.
and suddenly I was so struck; tears just flowed involuntarily from my eyes. It's hard to describe the feeling.. deep appreciation, beauty, happiness perhaps, kinship..the profoundity.. so utterly overpowering. I deeply understood what was being taught. And now, later when I recall several parts of it, tears form automatically, instantly,almost without me realizing what is going on.
To put this in perspective, I tend to approach sutras in a fairly non emotional fashion. I havent had emotionally caused tears for about 6 years, and I dont think that anyone has ever actually seen me have tears in my adult life... maybe once when i was really tired... maybe. I have had many amazing experiences, self discoveries, feeling of depth from sutras... but this .... this was different.
Ever feel like your heart is just....brought to life.? I cant really describe the feeling... it's quite foreign to me. I may never speak about this again, but i will never forget it... of this i am sure.