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Im going to a wedding soon... Am I really watching a couple get married or is it an illusion?

zenmystezenmyste Veteran
edited August 2013 in General Banter
And if it is an illusion, what good will it be knowing it is only an illusion...

Is it not best to just enjoy the wedding, eat, have a drink, and dance the night away with all my loved ones??????

Or is it best to not go to the wedding, stay at home alone, and just meditate all day... Beause after all, everythings just illusion, right??


  • Go to the wedding. If you want to have a drink, have a drink. If you want to dance, dance. If you want to laugh, sing, hug and kiss friends and relatives, by all means do so. Tell everyone you love them. Help spread the love and happiness the new married couple feels. Be a part of the celebration. Enjoy! :D

    If you feel guilty about it all later... just meditate for an hour or two and remember, you did nothing "wrong".... you just THOUGHT you had a good time. :)
  • misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a Hindu India Veteran
    marriage is marriage - no illusion. if you doubt, after 2 years ask the groom if he feels marriage is an illusion and he will confirm you that marriage is no illusion. :D
  • zenffzenff Veteran
    Two people who think they found someone who will make them happy for the rest of their lives.
    I say that’s an illusion.
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    Well said MaryAnne! Marriage means different things to different people. Many see it as a form of dependence, as two people afraid of their lonesomeness so they cling to one another. It certainly happens that was some times.

    However, it can also be much like a sangha, where two individuals join together under shared vows, providing a stability of development as they mirror for each other over and over.
  • ToshTosh Veteran
    zenmyste said:

    everythings just illusion, right??

    Wrong. Illusory is a better word than illusion, because illusion infers that there's nothing here and that would be a 'wrong view'.

    I think in 'What the Buddha Taught' that Rahula writes something along the lines that Truth is always positive, never negative, so if we infer something negative from a teaching, we've misunderstood.

    So would the outcome of you not going to the wedding be positive or negative?

    I guess only you can answer that; to thine own self be true.

  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited August 2013
    Some people want their partner to be 'mine'. No judgement on that. If both adults agree who am I to criticize? Everyone has different beliefs on marriage. They might be upset if you skip their wedding because they wanted to share it with you and get annoyed. Of course you could tell them how you feel and they may be ok with it.

    Be undivided. Go or don't go. Micro-decisions in life create tracks that we venture from.
    Everyone does metta meditation and hardly any do mudita meditation. I suggest both. Really.
  • howhow Veteran
    What is best is to live your meditation, whether in ritual or spontaneity, in company or alone.
    All the rest is just a soap opera.
  • NevermindNevermind Bitter & Hateful Veteran
    zenmyste said:

    Or is it best to not go to the wedding, stay at home alone, and just meditate all day... Beause after all, everythings just illusion, right??

    Not at all, illusion weddings are the most fun.
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    I went to the wedding of my 2 neighbor ladies last night. They've been together for 26 years. They raised a daughter and are helping to raise grandkids. They bought and paid for their house. Waiting for 26 years to be legally and socially recognized for what they've been all along is anything but an illusion.

    When I married my husband we didn't promise "as long as we both shall live." We simply promised to love as long as we loved (and a few other things, but same premise). It's just what worked for us and what we hope for our marriage and our future. But in a sense, you can also take the "as long as we both shall live" vow and still apply it to any marriage because who we are lives and dies every day, and sometimes that happens so many times between 2 married people that staying married is no longer the best thing for them to do.
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think 'Merica! Veteran
    edited August 2013
    If you're going to this wedding I wouldn't believe anything you see...

  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    It would be better to just stop thinking in such black and white manner! :p
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran
    edited August 2013
    zenmyste said:

    Is it not best to just enjoy the wedding, eat, have a drink, and dance the night away with all my loved ones??????

    Yes, but do it mindfully.

    PS You can save money - buy illusory presents... :lol:
  • CittaCitta Veteran
    Just do it...Be Zorba The Buddha.
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