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...Finding my place

CoryCory Tennessee Veteran
I am starting to discover myself. Most of my bad influences are out of my way and I am looking forward to a new awakening in my life where I can start feeling comfortable in my skin. I want to start meditating twice a day for 20 minutes. Any tips or suggestions of how I can get into the good habit of meditating each day, and handling aggrivating situations better?


  • To feel comfortable in your skin do yoga in the morning and meditation in the second session. Just deciding what you are going to do and getting into a routine will help. The reason for the yoga is because it can be used in a mindful way. Any attention in and too the body, has attendant benefits - Full prostrations or walking meditation has a similar dual purpose.
    The up tight, 'I will meditate and discover myself' attitude is setting yourself expectations, which may turn out differently. Be gentle, to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Help yourself to success. Use your self. Have fun. Change your self.
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    You will probably find that situations will improve as you meditate regularly. As for how to get in the habit, unfortunately, the only way is to establish the habit. It takes 2-3 weeks for something to become a habit. So until that part is easier there is nothing to do but to make up your mind to do it at whatever times will consistently work for you. How did you learn to brush your teeth every day? Because as a kid, your parents helped you brush your teeth every day (probably for a few years) and it just became natural. You just have to do it, and do it and do it until it becomes a natural part of your routine. When that works best for you depends on you.

    I'd like to meditate in the morning and before bed, but my schedule doesn't allow for it, due to such varying schedules in my kids' lives. So, rather than tell myself I'm going to do it when I know it won't work, I meditate more in the morning, and then as needed or allowed otherwise. Morning is the only time that consistently, 99.9% of the time, works for me. So consider your schedule and routine and see where you can fit it in, and then just decide to do it :) Maybe set an alarm on your phone or reminders in your email or whatever helps you keep track of anything else to get started.

    During the school year I have to get up at around 5:45 to get my meditation in. It's an adjustment every year (as opposed to later mornings in the summer). I just have to set the alarm and force myself to get up, I usually do a couple sun salutations to wake up and get the blood flowing and then I meditate. And I"m always, always, glad I did. That's what makes it easier to get up the next morning.
  • misterCopemisterCope PA, USA Veteran
    I might suggest starting a little slower than two twenty-minute sessions a day. If you overdo it, you might kill the habit before it forms.

    One good way that I've found to build a habit is to attach it to an already formed habit, like showering. For example, you could meditate after you brush your teeth, but before you shower, and it would just become part of your routine.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited August 2013
    I use micro-decisions. A great resolution is sometimes let go. Whereas micro-decisions you are always catching yourself. Every day there is a space to meditate and every choice for or against is a micro-decision.

    Two things with the method above. Resolutions are impermanent so you have to constantly fire yourself up to do the meditation. So you psyche yourself up and go to it.
    The second thing is don't be divided in your choice. Always be honest if you are dissapointed you didn't do your 20 minutes. But with that honesty don't split yourself into one person who failed to meditate, and another person who chose *not* to meditate. So you have one self failing to do it and one self choosing not to do it. Cognitive dissonance now leads to stress leads to conditioning not to think about meditation to avoid the stress. There is no past and future. There is only now to decide these micro-decisions and only now to have compassion and honesty WHATEVER our choice.
  • There has been a lot of great advise posted. I agree with all of it.
    Start with 5 minutes and work your way upto the 20 minute goal.
    Starting at 20 minutes is a big challenge, its longer than you think to "sit".
    May I also suggest a meditation timer, I use insight connect on my phone.
    Check the app store there is a free and a $1.99 version. The app will help you to keep track of your time and also helps you to set goals. As there are "milestones" to reach.
    Just a suggestion, but I have found it useful.

    Best of luck to you
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