Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Am I stuck with these painful overfed ideas forever?
banned_crab
Veteran
The more energy you feed an idea the more it will grow. I understand, dont feed energy to the wrong ideas. I have a problem, I fed too much energy to somebody due to the attachment I had to them.When you put enough effort into something you also give it the ability to defeat you. I have avoided this person as much as I could but somehow everytime I hear or think about her it defeats me. I have had this problem for months and Ive tried all I can to bury this hole. I tried digging more holes but digging more holes doesnt bury the old ones. This person is not even special to me I just fed so much energy and thought into them that I feel like I am stuck with it. This person has absolutely no attachment towards me, I am just an old memory to them. Its a shame how much more I fed to them than they did to me. I am ashamed and afraid. I think my problem is that im holding on to this hope that one day everything will be okay again. When I try to force that hope out a part of me wants to keep it and it becomes difficult to fight that part of me. How can I escape this hope? This hope will always lead to disappointment whether my hopes come true or not and I understand that. But understanding is not enough, you cant just understand feelings away. You have to feel the feelings away, but how?
How can I lose this hope if part of me wont let it go? How do I defeat this big ball of built up thought energy in my head?
How can I lose this hope if part of me wont let it go? How do I defeat this big ball of built up thought energy in my head?
0
Comments
http://www.dhammatalks.net/Books9/Ajahn_Sumedho_Suffering_Should_be_Welcomed.htm
You want a list of mine? We will be here until the end of time. :thumbup:
Can we plant flowers yet? Probably not.
More digging and shaking required . . .
What can you do to make me a better person? I demand more effort. Your self indulgent focus on yourself, weeds and needs, is not helping me. Please help me more, with more hope. Today please.
What has happened has happened, that person you are attached to is only a perception of mind and is ever changing. However these sorts of concepts may be too much to take on board at the moment as I am aware of the state of mind you are in, it probably seems as if it will never get better and everything is dark and black in your life. Well trust me, things do change on their own accord and one day in the near future you will be able to look back and smile and then shake your head wondering why you were so hung up on something like this.
I suggest trying some metta meditation, if you are not familiar with this look it up. It involves meditating as normal but really thinking and wanting good or positive things for yourself in life, then somebody you love, then somebody you know of but do not really care too much for, and then somebody who has come to hurt you. This can be hard but it also can help your situation and to cultivate compassion.
The more you play with this notion of her you keep causing yourself to be reborn in the realm of suffering over and over, just dry and drop it totally. On a physical level you can get out, exercise, be pro-active, volunteer somewhere, attend meditation classes, take up a new hobby, just something to change set and setting and to meet new people.
Good luck and keep going, there is ALWAYS change and always and end in sight for everything that arises, it will always cease on way or another.
You want a list of mine? We will be here until the end of time. :thumbup:
Can we plant flowers yet? Probably not.
More digging and shaking required . . .
What can you do to make me a better person? I demand more effort. Your self indulgent focus on yourself, weeds and needs, is not helping me. Please help me more, with more hope. Today please.
your my favorite poster yeah thanks I hope it works out
I did not get to be so awesome (must be one of my egoic weeds saying that . . .) without a lot of turmoil, effort, study and above all change of emphasis. If I can do it, @ThailandTom can do it.
And if he can do it, there is hope for me . . . and you :clap:
I did not get to be so awesome (must be one of my egoic weeds saying that . . .) without a lot of turmoil, effort, study and above all change of emphasis. If I can do it, @ThailandTom can do it.
And if he can do it, there is hope for me . . . and you :clap:
So how were you able to escape?
Bonus video:
:wave:
metta to you and all sentient beings.
and the Buddha used his powers to show Nanda, which do you regard as being the more beautiful and fair to look upon and handsome your noble wife Janapada Kalyāni or the celestial nymphs?
and Nanda replies Janapada Kalyāni is like a singed monkey when compared to those celestial nymphs, who are infinitely more beautiful and fair. Long story short Nanda attained Arahantship. you can find the full version of this story online
so cheer up (=
The journey of awakening happens just at the place where we can't get comfortable. Opening to discomfort is the basis of transmuting our so-called "negative" feelings. We somehow want to get rid of our uncomfortable feelings either by justifying them or by squelching them, but it turns out that this is like throwing the baby out with the bath water. According to the teachings of vajrayana, or tantric, Buddhism, our wisdom and our confusion are so interwoven that it doesn't work to just throw things out.
By trying to get rid of "negativity," by trying to eradicate it, by putting it into a column labelled "bad," we are throwing away our wisdom as well, because everything in us is creative energy—particularly our strong emotions. They are filled with life-force.
There is nothing wrong with negativity per se; the problem is that we never see it, we never honor it, we never look into its heart. We don't taste our negativity, smell it, get to know it. Instead, we are always trying to get rid of it by punching someone in the face, by slandering someone, by punishing ourselves, or by repressing our feelings. In between repression and acting out, however, there is something wise and profound and timeless.
http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=2287
She talks about this kind of thing a lot!