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...stolen, based on my dubious taste, from this site
:-- When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.
-- An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can't see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: "Can you see me now?" The four men answer: "Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja."
-- A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"
-- Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French café, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: "I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream." The waitress replies: "I'm sorry, Monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"