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will buddhism change the way you view others?

I've been lucky to have remained fairly positive and enthusiastic in my life but (as a beginner) I'm finding Buddhism is changing not only how I view myself but also how I view others ...

People who I thought were friends now appear to be more concerned about their money and ego so I've started keeping my thoughts to myself.

Is this OK?

Comments

  • Try not to compare yourself to others. Your views to others should be of kindness and compassion, not of feeling better than they are.
    VastmindvinlyncvalueS_Mouse
  • I'm trying to be more compassionate, empathetic, sympathetic and less judgmental. Some days are harder than others, however. While it may seem hypocritical, even when I falter, if I keep telling myself I am more compassionate, empathetic, sympathetic and less judgmental I will actually come to believe it and it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as it were.

    It's a feeling I did not find in Christianity, except for Jesus himself, and even then there's emphasis on relationship with God. Certainly not in Hinduism which is very self-centered on moksha. One has to look very deeply into Hindu scriptures to find references to compassion. The Rig Veda and Bhagavad Gita have them, but nothing like I have seen so far from The Buddha's teachings.
  • EvenThirdEvenThird NYC Veteran
    edited October 2013
    I understand what you mean. On the outside I don't seem to be the person my old friends recognize, but they also don't necessarily see that I am better for it. I don't worry about their thoughts and perceptions of me, I just try to focus on my business. Some friends seem to be drifting away but that is also their business.

    There is nothing wrong with keeping thoughts to yourself in general(sometimes that's best) but just because your friends seem concerned about "money and ego" doesn't mean they can't benefit from what you have to say, from your thoughts and experiences.
    NirvanaStraight_Man
  • It could just be looking out for yourself. My elementary school friend is HEAVLILY involved in drinking and brewing beer. So although I walked downtown, like 5 miles there and back, I don't want to hang out with him because of the group of his friends revolving around drinking. I am protecting myself.
    MaryAnneVastmindcvalueDavid
  • howhow Veteran Veteran
    Is there a bigger change from

    the worldly viewing of existence in terms of self & others

    than

    seeing beyond the adversarial basis of such a view.
    VastmindDavidcvalueInvincible_summer
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    ^^^ That was beautiful.
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran
    edited October 2013
    I don't know if Buddhism is supposed to change the way we view others... Maybe the idea is to see there is no such thing.
    Kundo
  • Well said, how
    Thank you.
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran

    I've been lucky to have remained fairly positive and enthusiastic in my life but (as a beginner) I'm finding Buddhism is changing not only how I view myself but also how I view others ...

    People who I thought were friends now appear to be more concerned about their money and ego so I've started keeping my thoughts to myself.

    Is this OK?

    I think so. I also found this happening as I grew away from the things I used to enjoy and started paying more attention to life in general.

    Eventually, I had to stop associating with some people even though I don't love them any less. We are the environment but we are also products of our immediate environment and so I'd prefer an environment conducive to growth.

    vinlynMaryAnne
  • I feel more compassionate to criminals and I hope they repent on time because I believe there is a hell realm is waiting to receive them.

    But for other human beings who won't go to hell, I am working very hard on not to judge them according to my new Buddhist's standard. I hope one day not too far away I will succeed to see only good things in everybody.
  • You should worry less because you're seeing with a realistic eye. If we are to only see things one way, it would make us vulnerable. We have to accept and realize that not everything is always as it seems. Anicca
    robot
  • I've been lucky to have remained fairly positive and enthusiastic in my life but (as a beginner) I'm finding Buddhism is changing not only how I view myself but also how I view others ...

    People who I thought were friends now appear to be more concerned about their money and ego so I've started keeping my thoughts to myself.

    Is this OK?

    Okay. It is your democratic right.
    lobster
  • For me it has changed the way I view others.

    The idea that there is no evil, only ignorance has helped me become much more accepting. I feel that we are all doing the best we can with what we have at the moment.

    Another idea the practice has helped me with is that the awareness we have is the same for all beings and it is only our nervous systems and it's experiences that are different.
    MaryAnneDavid
  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran
    Namaste,

    I think Buddhism has made me more mindful of how I think and view people. I still have moments where I am a complete bitch, but I catch myself and feel sincere regret instead of stewing on others' actions and I then try not to dwell on my own anger aimed at my slip up.

    In metta,
    Raven
    MaryAnnecvalueDavid
  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    will buddhism change the way you view others?
    It definitely can! It can change your view from "Wow, that person is a selfish asshole! I don't like that person! What a jerk!" to "Wow, that person is suffering, I wish I could help them."
    cvalueDavid
  • ...and I will help them... !
    MaryAnneEvenThirdcvalueDavid
  • Hi,
    what you experience is great. World looks different if you start and practice the four pillars of Insight or the total 8fold path. It´s normal to withdraw from others, its for
    your own sake. Maybe some of them might understand and some never will. You are the only person in this process, that is important because you are going to change your consciousness. Most people will not understand you, so was my experience. Their spiritual develelopment is not enough enhanced. It`s you and your way, so don´t mind the others. If you did all the 8 Jhanas you will find out that you reched the end and
    the practice is not nececcesary any more. You can stay at this point or go further but
    do mind Maro Dusi.

    anando
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    I
    Is this OK?

    Yes. You might well find yourself drawn to different people and interests as things develop.
  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    To the op.. You are starting to see the true nature of the ego and how the mind works.. The trick is to realize that your mind is the same as theirs, this is where the work of destroying judgment begins.

    Remember the buddha taught there are 3 conciets..

    I am better than...

    I am worse than...

    I am the same as..
    lobsterJeffrey
  • Buddhism will improve your discernment. You may start to see drawbacks to some behaviors which once seemed like "just the way things work." Any hostility which arises with the perception of those drawbacks is a hindrance to be abandoned, though.
    DavidlobsterJeffrey
  • corkcork Explorer
    So you see everybody re-arranging furniture. They ask you to pick up the far end of the davenport. If you don't do it, you're an alien. If you do, you're prolonging the tail-chasing.
  • We are all perfect. This is the lesson of Buddha Fields. Seeing the perfection in others-and yourself-you will naturally not condemn or hold self or others in low esteem.
    I have found I appreciate others more as I have learned more of my true nature.
    Your thought to perfect yourself is right and maybe you would enjoy learning about the paramitas-the wisdom of the other side. The first one is liberality which includes always coming down on the side of people. Best, Dennis
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