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I suddenly realized that I can NEVER be happy
banned_crab
Veteran
I can never feel joy. It is impossible for myself to live in harmony. As long as I am trying to be happy I can never be happy. Desire is an endless pursuit simply because I can never never experience what it is to be happy. It is physically impossible for this person to experience happiness. When happiness is experienced it is not I who is receiving the experience . When Joy is experienced I like to label it and associate it with myself. But I will never be happy as long as I try to live with myself.
"This heaven will pass away, and the one above it will pass
away. The dead are not alive, and the living will not die. During the days
when you ate what is dead, you made it come alive. When you are in the
light, what will you do? on the day when you were one, you became two. But
when you become two, what will you do?"
"This heaven will pass away, and the one above it will pass
away. The dead are not alive, and the living will not die. During the days
when you ate what is dead, you made it come alive. When you are in the
light, what will you do? on the day when you were one, you became two. But
when you become two, what will you do?"
2
Comments
I'm interested from a beginners point of view.
however don't you think it depends on what makes you happy?... if its simple things, walking in the wind and admiring the beauty of nature please tell me there is no harm in that ?
Happiness comes in lots of forms
And then there are those (few?) who get great pleasure and a sense of self-satisfaction from wallowing in their own self-induced 'suffering'... the type of people who no matter what- always choose to see the negative side of things and insist that is what life is "really all about". I feel sorry for them, but I will never agree.
Bleakness and discouragement are probably the last things the Buddha had on his mind when trying to illuminate the path to end 'suffering'. At least that's how I choose to see things- from the sunny side.
Ego - I
The origin of the word ego comes from latin root. When sombody says the word ego in latin they are acually saying "I".
Person- In ancient Rome, the word "persona" (Latin) (Greek) originally referred to the masks worn by actors on stage. The various masks represented the various "personae" in the stage play
Tell me if you understand after reading it this way, if you do not understand than tell me what is misunderstood. I stay away from the path you wish to believe in. Simply because that path is based on "believing you are happy" its like forcing yourself to be happy with what you have.
When you are feeling unhappy do you often try and acquire these forms to make yourself feel better? But even when you obtain these forms you realize that "this is not actually what I wanted ".
You than obsess with trying to acquire these forms to push the unhappiness under a rug and hope it just goes away.
Well done @MaryAnne - for pointing this out - buddhism isn't bleak it's full of hope for us all. Happy solstice Christmas or whatever makes you happy! Haoppy bleakness even!
Anatman x
I (my ego/persona/soul/apreciative part of my brain) think in those moments... wow what a beautiful sunset, or what a cheeky smile or even simply the way the washing smells when I'm hanging it on the line
I allow myself to be totally engulfed by those moments, soaking them in as I know they are only 'moments' I've known this for years its not just something thats dawned on me whilst researching a new religion.
There are times in my life where I agree with you clutching for example to alcohol would be one and that was definately holding on and you are correct...it did not make me happy....vanity another (I tried botox once what a bloody waste of money ...I ended up looking like a 'cling on' for three months)...
But my dearest imacrab.... I do not believe it is wrong to enjoy life when you can ...I can happily agreed to disagree...and if it was at all possible i would love to be able to in some small way show you what I feel but alas I am a mere human.
When I feel down and miserable I have two choices to wallow and hate my life or give myself a kick up the proverbial and do something that I know will make me happy....as I have managed low mood for quite a number of year's maybe ive just had to learn how to live with it.
And yes you are right sometimes in the low mood time, just after I've given myself a talking to I could quite happily kick the head off a dafodil but what good would that do eh?
If you ever come to my part of the world ill take you out (I mean that)
Hey we could even boot a few begonias if it makes you feel better (only want to make you smile with that last sentence)
I would like to ask you a question...what makes you happy?
Have a pleasant evening.
With a lot of people their innermost wish is for the happiness of themselves and all beings.
What could be more reliable than that?
You still do not understand what the poem symbolizes. In a sense you are two at the moment. When happiness is experienced it is not "I" who experienced it.
(((((There was a brown spider about the size of a dime (legs spread out dime sized) and he'd just descended from the ceiling and was trying to build a web between the laptop screen and my water bottle. Unfortunately I just lost track of him which means he could be ON ME . . . bad idea, my reflexes are abysmally self-preserving . . . hopefully he'll show up and I'll put him in the bathroom . . .)))))
I suspect the 'ascetic' in the Buddha (he was an ascetic monk for six years prior to his awakening) heavily influenced his message to the rest of us. I also suspect withOUT the asceticism, the message would not have the depth and richness it has. But in the meantime, the bias against 'enjoying your senses' can be held lightly, rather than used as a crowbar to bang your head when you find yourself floating away in the sweet smell of sheets blown fresh by the breeze.
The problem comes in when a human has no awareness of their being outside of their own ego and it's pathetically limited, repetitive ruminations. If a person is trapped in there long enough, the simple sweetnesses of life stop registering on the radar, and since we seek sweetness, we seek heavier, more coarse and blatant sources and end up stuck deeper than ever in sensuality. It's like we have to clean off the antennae by a bit of modern asceticism, let the antennae reset to their defaults, and then the simple sweetnesses will be available and PLENTY satisfying.
We moderns have NO IDEA of the ascetic practices the Buddha and his mates put themselves through! We'd all run home squealing to our iPhones after ten minutes of it I suspect. We don't have to detest our senses our their natural sensuality, but if we are mired too deeply within them, and lose sight of seeking anything but more and more of them, a period of ascetic dismissal is probably a good thing.
You and I, when we used alcohol, that is a perfect example of seeking coarser and more blatant sensuality. We drank to 'feel' better, snuffing out other thoughts that made us feel bad. There is great sensuality in being drunk or buzzed. Inhibitions? Gone. We went ascetic on alcohol, and gave it up. That was (just part) our ascetic 'letting go' of the sensuality that we craved. At least that's how I put it together for now.
Asceticism, like I said, is something to wield thoughtfully and deliberately, even specifically. I don't believe it does us any good at all to use asceticism to deny any and all sense pleasures.
Gassho
Us and "them" is a disease because there is no "them", only more of us. Separation is illusion so opposites can only exist conceptually.
Beyond joy and suffering is joy.
Up and down being opposites depend on a point of reference so if we add another perspective, up and down are relative and complimentary terms.
In the spectrum of apples, a macintosh may be the opposite of a delicious but there is no opposite for apple except no-apple however, the potential for apples has always been.
I don't think I helped.
Maybe I am trying hard to see the small moments of beauty and embrace happiness as I am frightened of falling back to what I could so easily become once again...to deny myself these small pleasures would leave me a feeling empty...maybe im just not ready yet...thanks again you have a lovely heart
Even the simple act of smiling has a way of being contagious.
Since I've found Buddhism, I have come to realize that those feelings I had as a child were fantastic and magical and they should be appreciated as such. Being attached to them and grasping for their return is dhukka. Let it go, don't set yourself up for failure and be content with the joy that every day lived can bring.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good life.
But you CAN be, in yourself, of such an accepting, nonjudgmental and open nature that people will feel SAFE and COMFORTABLE around you. They will instinctively respond to your openness with their own, which on it's own, will 'make' them happy.
If you are with a person, watch them closely, listen to them carefully, and ponder what they are saying and/or doing. This will communicate to them you believe they are important and worth spending your energy paying attention to. This is a huge gift to give to someone, especially a child or your partner.
When another person experiences a good thing in their life, rejoice with them FOR them, be very very happy for them. Imagine how relieved or glad or blessed they must feel and ENJOY that.
When you meditate, use some of the meditation time to think upon others with unconditional friendliness and respect. It won't, like, 'send' them little packets of goodies, but it will enlarge your capacity for unconditional friendliness and compassion for others.
As for "we are all one" that's not hard to accept when it's clear to you that the feelings and thoughts of other people are pretty much the same ones that happen in your head, barring different life circumstances etc. The 'stew' of the mind is the same recipe across the board, plus or minus spice or veggie preferences.
Gassho
In other words, happiness independent of all the required dependencies. What can we enjoy in the moment? Does it have to be Xmas or everyday a celebration of 'ordinary' experiences.
Look for 'I' in your practice. Nothing to find. Look for joy in your misery, still clinging or letting go . . . ?
Joy to the world. Peace of Earth . . . and on . . . :clap:
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
William Blake
Not at all.
Ooo I think the light has just come on....
I like the feeling I get when I do something that makes people happy...but is that really enjoying thier happiness or my own?...
I will try a be aware of this today....
. . . oh well . . . will have to settle for no 'real' self worth mentioning . . .
I've been sitting on my sofa for the last three weeks with a broken leg (and post-op with screws holding it all together) and in quite a bit of pain - and from time to time, several times a day, I've said to myself out loud "I am happy."
I have plenty I could complain about - all the (financial, physical, relationship, emotional, etc) complications this broken leg has created for my life.
What it boils down for me, is the 8-fold path. When I see/deal with everything "as it is" and don't form any types of attachments, I am good. I am actually happy - which is most of the time, even with this broken leg. My physical suffering is just another opportunity for personal spiritual growth. I don't necessarily seek happiness, it just happens as I accept the opportunities dukkha provides.
I essentially make the choice - whether it is me, myself or I or my neutral mind doing so, it doesn't matter. I don't have to make things so complicated.
Is it you who is feeling a lack of happiness?
I'm feeling a little cranky because the Thais won't stop letting off their cherry bombs.
It's Christmas for crying out loud. Why all the explosives?
At least I think it's me who is feeling cranky. Maybe not.
“I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.” ~ Dalai Lama Zopa Rinpoche