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Writing a Eulogy

BrianBrian Detroit, MI Moderator
edited November 2006 in Sanghas
My grandmother died three days ago and I have been given the honor of eulogizing her.

At first I thought it would be easy. I was very close with her, I considered her a friend as well as my grandmother, and I knew her very well. I thought it would be nothing to come up with something grand to say, something to put a smile on everyone's face.

I've come to realize that writing what is essentially a brief summary of an entire human life is extremely daunting.

I am usually very comfortable with public speaking and I have great confidence as a writer and orator, but this, I'll say frankly, has me nervous.

She was such an important woman in the lives of my family members. This is going to be tough.

Wish me luck :)

Comments

  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited November 2006
    Good luck. :)
  • XraymanXrayman Veteran
    edited November 2006
    You'll breeze through it-a lifetime of information and experiences about her should be reasonable reference material for you.

    best wishes mate.
  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited November 2006
    I wouldn't worry, Brian. Just let your heart do the talking for you, and it'll be beautiful.

    Palzang
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited November 2006
    I'll second Pal. Don't even feel the need to write anything down,necessarily.
    Speak from your heart, and your mind will fill.

    Good Luck. :)
  • Unknown
    edited November 2006
    Good luck!
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited November 2006
    I read a wonderful set of books once by an author name Orson Scott Card.

    He wrote one book, one of a series, called Speaker for the Dead.

    It was about a person who went around speaking on behalf of the dead person - summarizing all the feats and failure of the person who died. Instead of making every person that died sound like a saint - he gave the benefit of making the person sound real and tangible in the things they did in this life and that they were able to share with us.

    Don't know why I thought of that - just did, though.

    I wish the best for you and yours, Brian. While she will always be with you inside of you, I hope she was a randy old soul who loved hard and lived life to the fullest. :)

    -bf
  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited November 2006
    I've read some of Orson Scott Card's books too, bf. I also really like them. I may have to revisit him.

    Completely off the subject, sorry.

    Palzang
  • KungaTashiKungaTashi
    edited November 2006
    Good Luck Brian! And I hope you are not filled with to much grief for her passing. About a year ago my grandmother died and it was pretty rough cause we were pretty close. I wish you the best!
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited November 2006
    Me too, Brian! You'll rock.

    (I read Orson Scott Card, too. It's been ages...I should find some of his books again. Great read, from what I can remember.)
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited November 2006
    Interesting how many of us like OSC! One of my favourites and, coincidentally, Speaker For The Dead and all the rest of the Ender saga are in my "to be read again" pile.

    I have been asked to speak at all-too-many funerals and memorial services. It doesn't get any easier. I have also reflected long and hard on the question of preparation vs spantaneity. My own preference is to jot down some notes, headings, on a card, particularly dates and quotations. A list of people to mention is useful because the post-funeral get-together can be marred by jealousies and arguments: people are at their most vulnerable. The only time that I have held a text in front of me is when I have had to read poetry. One friend had asked me to read some John Donne, another a bit of Dylan Thomas (NOT Do not go gentle... thank goodness). I learned them by heart and spent time on the delivery then because that was what was being asked of me. And I held the book because I get very easily upset and tearful.

    There is another great opportunity here, too. When I have been asked to do a eulogy, it has given me complete licence to go to other people and say: "Tell me about X? Any stories, memories? What were they like as a little girl/boy, undergrad, part-time lap-dancer?" I have always come away enriched by their lives.

    Go well in this, Brian.
  • AdianaAdiana
    edited November 2006
    Brian,

    I am sorry to read of your grandmother's death. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sure that you will do just fine giving the eulogy for her as well. Take care, now.

    Adiana:usflag: :)
  • BrianBrian Detroit, MI Moderator
    edited November 2006
    It went well. I thought I could have done better, of course (everyone is their own worst critic), but apparently the family thought I did well.

    I basically touched on all the qualities that made her unique, while keeping the anecdotal stuff to a minimum. I wanted to convey her spirit through personal feelings and thoughts instead of through story. The speech was only about four minutes, which is good for a eulogy, I think.

    Thanks for all your support. We buried her today, and now we (my family) can be at peace :)
  • ajani_mgoajani_mgo Veteran
    edited November 2006
    That's great, Brian. :) Your gran will be proud of you surely.
  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited November 2006
    Yeah, shorter the better, I'd say. I'm happy that it went well, Brian.

    Palzang
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited November 2006
    Me too, Brian. Peace now.
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