Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
I've debated whether or not to post this because between the serendipity and the content, it seems...well, you'll figure it out.
A day before this thread posted, a friend of mine in recovery (we are both in a twelve step program) called to discuss a recent event. A convicted child rapist moved into her neighborhood. My friend is an elementary school teacher and single mother of two children, an 11 yo girl and a 13 yo boy.
I posited the question, uncertain of whether I could do it myself - or even if it was the right thing to do... What would happen if, when he came to her door to introduce himself and inform her of his crime, which is required by law - what if she stepped forward, gave him a hug and welcomed him to the neighborhood?
I'm human - she is my friend and I love her children - I can hear all the reasons in my own head to not do this... but I can't help wondering if such a display of acceptance would not change him somehow. It isn't my call and I'm glad of that, but from an academic or philosophical pov, I do wonder.
I think if one felt from their heart that it was the right thing to do, it certainly can't hurt. But, one has to be cautious not to expect something in return. There is a lot of fear, certainly understandable, but also that fear contributes to the offenders being alienated and just increases chances they will re-offend, since alienation is often a reason they offend to begin with. (one reason, anyhow).
Also, sometimes in wanting to be compassionate or helpful, we seek to change someone, or to save them from themselves. i've been there with a local boy, seeing something in them that is good and trying to convince them to see it themselves.
@karasti - I believe your caveat is noteworthy. Where I was coming from with the thought is the quote, "We are not punished for our anger, we are punished by our anger" Likewise, and imo, we aren't punished for our lack of kindness (compassion, forgiveness, etc.), we are punished by our lack. That would be the motivation to try (for me).
[Bastoy}The Norwegian prison where inmates are treated like people
@sova -- "King of Devil's Island" is a pretty good fictionalized tale about a fact-based time when the inmates were not treated well at all.
The film is a fictionalized retelling of a rebellion among the youth at the Bastøy Reform School during the winter of 1915. The reformatory was located on Bastøy Island in the Oslo fjord south of Horten municipality in the county of Vestfold Norway. The Norwegian government purchased the island in 1898 for 95,000 kroner, and the reformatory opened in 1900.
Comments
I've debated whether or not to post this because between the serendipity and the content, it seems...well, you'll figure it out.
A day before this thread posted, a friend of mine in recovery (we are both in a twelve step program) called to discuss a recent event. A convicted child rapist moved into her neighborhood. My friend is an elementary school teacher and single mother of two children, an 11 yo girl and a 13 yo boy.
I posited the question, uncertain of whether I could do it myself - or even if it was the right thing to do... What would happen if, when he came to her door to introduce himself and inform her of his crime, which is required by law - what if she stepped forward, gave him a hug and welcomed him to the neighborhood?
I'm human - she is my friend and I love her children - I can hear all the reasons in my own head to not do this... but I can't help wondering if such a display of acceptance would not change him somehow. It isn't my call and I'm glad of that, but from an academic or philosophical pov, I do wonder.
I think if one felt from their heart that it was the right thing to do, it certainly can't hurt. But, one has to be cautious not to expect something in return. There is a lot of fear, certainly understandable, but also that fear contributes to the offenders being alienated and just increases chances they will re-offend, since alienation is often a reason they offend to begin with. (one reason, anyhow).
Also, sometimes in wanting to be compassionate or helpful, we seek to change someone, or to save them from themselves. i've been there with a local boy, seeing something in them that is good and trying to convince them to see it themselves.
@karasti - I believe your caveat is noteworthy. Where I was coming from with the thought is the quote, "We are not punished for our anger, we are punished by our anger" Likewise, and imo, we aren't punished for our lack of kindness (compassion, forgiveness, etc.), we are punished by our lack. That would be the motivation to try (for me).
@sova -- "King of Devil's Island" is a pretty good fictionalized tale about a fact-based time when the inmates were not treated well at all.