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Do you people celebrate christmas?
Rhodian
Loser Veteran
I decided to put this in general banter but just out of curiousity.
Do some of you celebrate this? I myself do not really celebrate it, and I still havn't found peace with my sister that abused me in a psychological way, so I decided to go to a place to eat there in and on my own when she is comming to visit my parents.
So I will be probably go to a snackbar or maybe eat chinese. I don't want to spend to much money, so what will you people do? I am suprised if some people decided to not celebrate it at all.
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'us people' is ordinary folk, at the end of the day... And yes, we do, but we just omit or ignore the religious factor. In fact, when you think about it, Christmas, as a religious festival, is totally wrong. First of all, the date is about 6 years out..
And the month of Jesus' birth (according to careful and meticulous astronomical research) was actually either in October or April.
So "Christmas", as a festive period of the year, was hijacked from Pagan tradition.
It's all a carefully - contrived feast, which on the face of it,.is completely wrong.
Enjoy yourself. I do....
The only gift we give each other is the freedom from feeling obliged to join the
Christmas gift sharing fray. (No young kids to disappoint).
but it does turn out to be a perfect time for using our time off work to invite friends over for "Christmas dinner".
I like to think of Santa Claus / Father Christmas as basically a big fat bodhisattva, a kind of Hotei in a funny red and white suit. Plus the idea of Santa is often useful in curbing a child's naughty behavior ("I'm going to tell Santa about this!")
Great question, @Rhodian. I last shopped for anybody after my son passed away at 23 years of age, Feb. 14, 2010. I don't shop for anybody - well maybe myself, but it doesn't really count. That's the modern western way of 'celebrating' - but I only have a pretty silver and green wreath I hang on the front door as far as decorating goes. My son and I used to drive around after dark looking at the houses all decorated and lit up so the memories are one way I celebrate Christmas.
I think going out and eating is a great way to celebrate the holidays, @Rhodian. How about going to a movie? I've gone to movies by myself and it's cool. A long time ago, I remember doing that when the Joy Luck Club was first out, and I was like the only white chick in the place - that was funny!
Oh with you people I didn't mean anything in particular. I could have said do you folks celebrate, I am afraid this was a language barrier issue, as I did not know how to call a group of people on the forum, but I guess it is alright to have said 'do you celebrate.' Though... Well language..
Very sorry to hear, one year older than me... I am very sorry, I wish you the best and hope you can make the best of it! I don't know what to say really sorry.
This year my immediate family are coming to our place and my in laws are flying in from NZ. Looking forward to it. I am lucky in that I get on well with all my family. They are good people. I have been blessed!
The kids enjoy it although my four year old daughter seems much more into Halloween (something only celebrated recently here).
@Rhodian. I hope whatever you choose to do you have a pleasant day!
We do a little. A tree, presents, etc. When we go back to MN to visit family, I'll even go to Christmas Eve church services with my mom. There's something comforting about being in that building that was a big part of my life growing up and all the people there I've known for decades. Singing Christmas hymns, the smell of pine a Bayberry. Quite wonderfull.
I used to, because the rest of the family did, but I regarded it as a day/season to celebrate compassion. Because isn't that what Jesus was about? Love thy neighbor, and all that.
Where I live now, there are a lot of Native tribes who have their own ceremonies and feast days this time of year. These go all the way through New Year and "Kings' Day" -- Epiphany. So I go to different communities to see watch the ceremonies. It's a nice alternative to the usual religious and commercial stuff.
I'm Buddhist, not a grinch
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Thank you, @Rhodian for your condolences.
I was just remembering something that made me smile (and then tear up just a little): I grew up in a small town and it was normal to throw a little bit of money into the Red kettles that the Salvation Army would have in front of the stores, with someone dressed up in red and ringing the golden bell -- so, it was natural for me to do the same and when my son saw me do it, he wanted to do it, too (which I figured he would) so every Christmas, he actually looked forward to giving some change or a couple dollar bills and putting them into the red kettle and if he didn't have any money in his pocket, he would ask me for some to put in the kettle.
No matter how old he got, it was something he just went ahead and did...it's one thing he never outgrew. He outgrew all his video games, though...I think it may be one of the most touching moments that I can remember, but of course they all are.
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Speaking purely for myself, I don't think I qualify as people.I find it hard to believe I am even normal!
I realised it was probably language...
Occasionally, when (PURELY for example) a devous christian might refer to Buddhists as "you people " they may mean it in a condescending or disparaging manner. I absolutely know you most certainly did not mean it that way, I was really just poking a bit of fun at you...
We will get together, I will break precepts and drink wine. Then we will Skype relatives and make fools of ourselves. Then we will have presents and pudding.
The birth of baby buddha is a special time . . . The Bo tree of enlightenment, Father HO HO HOtei, the begging kettle, the bells (and Dorje baubles), the mantra singers at the door etc . . .
Yup, but not in any religious way. Christmas tree, lights, presents given to/from family on the 25th.
Christmas, no Christmas ... take your pick.
Of course I do! And my B day is in Dec too...so you can imagine the whole month is getting together with friends and being merry!!
No family here...but I go all out on decorations and the time off is really nice with my kids. I try to plan activities that we normally cant get done any other time of the year bec of cost or time/scheduling.
I've even done a Buddha theme tree before!!!
I'm really into stockings! My Nana knitted one for all of us, and I love the hunt of finding small, inexpensive things that pack a huge surprise punch!!!!
@lobster That photo is so nice! I had to laugh but in all seriousness it looks so awesome!
I've told this story before, but I still find it kinda cool. My old sangha used to have a new Meembers social about this time of year. The event was held in our shrine room as we didn't have a social area as such. They used to decorate the buffet table with Christmasy napkins, plates and stuff like that. They had a boombox play christmas tunes and hymns. If it was held during Chanuka there would be those decorations as well. I recall one year sombody put a Santa hat on the Buddha statue on the shrine,
It feels like Christmas happens to me and I put up with it. Left to my own I'd not celebrate traditional western holidays except for all the cuteness that goes along with the grandchildren. The music is great, though, and the pretty lights along with the music and generalized sparkly festivity, the least I can say is that it's well timed, the weather is cold, it gets dark at 4pm -- blech. Perfect time to decorate the bleak hibernating climate and 'force' some ho ho hos, I'm sure it's for good healthy balance.
Buddhists (whatever that means) can celebrate or not celebrate anything, that's the beauty, no shoulds or oughts. And good for you to take yourself off for a nice meal when your sister comes around, good for you. That's called self care.
Yes. It's a wonderful time of year. I have the trunk of the car filled with little goodies for the homeless/street people. Its a bit of a challenge now as the police have taken to wrecking their encampments. The spirit of Bah Humbug.
Celebrating Christmas does not make me a Christian.. I am not opposed to other religions to the point of boycotting their celebrations. Anything that brings people together and promote happiness is a good thing.
Of course, I just wondered if people would not celebrate. For me personally it just makes me sad people get caught in the rat race of making everything nice. Especially females, forcing they're sons/husbands in suits and such which makes conflicts. My mom has been moving furniture and all kind of things for the sake of making it cosy, while my dad gets annoyed and they get into arguments.
For me personally I do not like christmass because it's so just commerce here, big this big that. Which is a reason I would stop to celebrate it later when I live on my own, but I would have decided to do this even if I did not have buddhism for that matter. But I was curious what you all would do.
Personally, I have never come across any women who have forced their menfolk to do/wear anything against their will. You may find it's just something that your mum does, but I am bi-national and I am blessed to straddle 2 cultures. Speaking for both, we like 'dressing smart' for Christmas, and making a sartorial effort. It's all part of the occasion, particularly if a really nice garment was a Christmas gift...
I think you need to try to look beyond the stuff you object to and dislike, because that's a form of clinging and resentment. Develop Compassion and loving kindness, empathy and generosity. THAT'S what Christmas is really about, after all. It's not up to others to make it what you want it to be. That's up to you....
@Rhodian Of course you can assign your own reasons for celebrating, or not, but if those reasons are causing you to stress, perhaps you focused on the wrong reasons?
I'm actually one of those people who enjoying giving gifts to people, not out of obligation, but it's an opportunity to exercise my generous side, and to let someone know I care about them, and it makes me feel good to see them smile and to know I was able to contribute in making them happy... but then I could worry about setting them up to feel guilty about possibly not being able to exchange a gift. This "worry" would be self imposed and not needed. If my friends really knew me, they would know I do not expect anything in return, because that would be a "trade" not a "gift". So I don't worry about it, and I do my thing. How else could my friends really get to know me if worrying prevented me from sharing?
@Federica My mom does not but a friend told me his mom did. I myself in my family It goes like this. My dad tells me, ''we do not buy gifts for each other, because then the other feels forced to give something back.''
(In my family this notion of you give me something NOW I HAVE TO GIVE BACK... Really lives and runs very very deep...)
So my dad has been telling me 10 days straight we do not buy each other gifts and he told me he will give me and my sisters some money, I told him I do not want any money he gets angry at me. It's a pain for me. But I hope when I meditate more, I get above it and next year I am alright.
@Telly03
Yes very nice my family really has this idea of you give something they have to give back. So if I gave them something they'd be angry because now they have to give me something back. But this is my personal circumstance of course.
Sadly, that's a problem your family has, and I'm not saying nobody else thinks like this, but it's a personal situation, I don't think you can generally decide Christmas is not a lovely time of the year, based purely on what your family decides to think....
I have a good friend whose family, as a child, was very 'puritanical' in attitude. Her father particularly, had a very "Scrooge-like" temperament, and Christmas was always a non-event at their house. No tree, no decorations, no gifts.... It was as if nothing happened.
She was often very sad as a child, and did not have a very happy time of it.
Once she found her boyfriend, left home and eventually got married and had a family of her own, she changed everything.
Her home is always warm, bright, decorated, festive, fun and filled with Christmas cheer.
She used to invite her parents for Christmas day, but her father was so critical, bitter and complaining, that she stopped.
The first Christmas that they were no longer invited, her mother contacted her tearfully, telling her how sad they were to not have been invited!
Her father has since died, but her mother is now much closer to her, and shares a wonderful Christmas with her daughter, son-in-Law and grandchildren. She is the life and soul of the party, joining in games, helping with the cooking, and throwing herself into the festivities wholeheartedly.
She said at one point, she had a lot of lost time to make up for!
@Federica A nice story I do think I would make christmass something nice whenever I live on my own I just make it nice. Right now I am stressed I have to catch a beetle that came inside, because my mom decided to make christmass decorations with cutting branches of trees and such outside, and I want to catch him so I can put him outisde.
It can only be Paul or Ringo.....
Yes, we love Christmas around here.
Of course, no religious connotation attached.
Just the decorations, and the light arrangements, and the tree, and Santa Claus, and the carols...
Back in my Argentinian childhood, it was the time for British Plum Pudding and Italian Panettone, to celebrate both origins in the family.
Hubby and son hate both, but my son will grudgingly eat some pudding while watching Hercule Poirot's Christmas episode. It has become our tradition.
We celebrate Christmas even though no one in my family can make any real claim to being Christian. My older son started a tradition when he was about 3 years load. His mom and I were explaining to him that Christmas was really a celebration of the birth of Jesus and his response was"why don't we have cake then?" Now we make a birthday cake for Jesus every year. It's actually a really fun thing to do as a family on Christmas day every year.
No...It's been cancelled....BTW look for the spelling mistake
(((I thought it was funny, @Shoshin, but what is it with the spelling mistake? Did not get the "Chistmas" bit...
)))
I thought it was quite funny too, even with the mistake
I saw a sign which read "Merry Crossma's - because when we visit mum it always pisses her off, and we just laugh..."
Why? Surely, you make your own discomfort. I'm sorry, forgive the brusque tone, but really, that's rubbish.
When your two-year-old begins to appreciate the bright lights, shiny objects, pretty trees, put them in the house. You don't need to explain anything, until s/he asks.
Then, you explain that it's a Christian religious festival, but every religion has a Festival of Light, which represents the dawning of illumination..."We don't follow that particular belief, but it's fun to enjoy the spirit of the occasion!"
I really don't see why we have to make things so complicated and troublesome. It was a Pagan Festival before it was a Christian one - celebrate the shortest day of the year, and the coming of a new one....
My neighbour -the one that makes me uneasy when he does the gardening with topless six-pack in the summer- is considering attending an "Anti-Christmas Party" on the 24th.
He had a very conflictive childhood, with cold and abusive parents, and he does not have the fondest memories of Christmas.
But the whole notion of having an anti-anything party, just because the other half of the world has decided to declare the date a time to rejoice and gather with your beloved beings strikes me as preposterous.
What can be so wrong about having a nice time with your beloved ones once a year, having positive vibes flowing, making positive resolutions for the year to come and, yes, put up a nice tree and lights?
We do, in all sorts of ways. My mom practices more of a typical celebration, I sometimes go to Christmas Eve church with her, I enjoy the lovely music. We do a yule log, because I find it a wonderful tradition. We have a tree, we do gifts and santa (though the kids know it's not real in that sense, they still enjoy the tradition). I always choose someone in the community to play secret santa for, so I am getting ready to bake cookies to get that gift package to her and her son. I deliver cookies to a lot of people and just enjoy time with people we don't see often.
My oldest son turns 18 on the 23rd so we have that celebration in there as well. My birthday was last week (happy birthday, @Vastmind, whenever yours is!) and we have a visit 300 miles away to visit in-laws in there, too. Plus holiday school concerts and parties for the kids activities. It's a busy week, lol. But it's a good week.
My personal preference is something a big quieter. We are going to be gone the whole weekend before, then my son's birthday, then several days of family celebrations. It gets to be a lot for my introverted self. I take the time when i can get it and squeeze in some yoga and meditation. But I do my best to enjoy whatever I can. But doing little things for others tends to keep me feeling good, even when I've had enough of people, lol.
@Federica I assure you that when my child is older I wont be a hindrance on her festivities. I meant that I don't do Christmas trees as of right now. The discomfort comes from family gatherings. Not mine because everyone is screaming. My husbands family. Even after four years I feel like an oddball....social anxiety. Which I'm working on
I have no upsets over it being a pagan or Christian holiday. I just don't see the point in Christmas and it's difficult for me to deal with the pressures of yuletide group merriment.
Oh, right. Sorry, I didn't get that from your post, hence the misunderstanding...
Christmas brings cookies. So YES!, I celebrate Cookies!.... er, I mean... Christmas.
Well to be fair I really left a lot out. No descriptions what-so-ever
Message relayed: "Send reinforcements, we're going to advance."
Message (eventually) received: "Send three and fourpence, we're going to a dance." ROTFL!
Living in a christian country - and having kids means you've got to celebrate christmas - hey, I have really enjoyed watching my kids taking part in their carol services, and it's all part of the experience.
I see buddhism as an all-embracing religion... So for me the children learn there is a spirit of giving. Whilst, I try not to get too involved in the discussions of christianity, I see it in my own we. We all are sons and daughters of god and all will be sacrificed in one way or another equally in the way Jesus did. But thats just a view of the reality of life and death, how you wish to interpret it is all down to you. I am happy with my view, I just don't want to feel the need to constantly carry my cross from cradle to grave, and wear a crown of thorns at the end... Oh well let's see
Having a Jewish mother and Catholic father means Chanukah AND Christmas. This year it's 8 days of chocolate directly followed by obscene amounts of food and presents.
Yeah not a bad way to end this year
Sounds like I'd be nauseated by the end lol @dhammachick
nah, just bloated and fat
pats pot belly
Beginning of December every year, we spend a whole weekend over at a couple of friends' house baking Christmas Cookies, or Gutsies, as they are called in Swiss German.
To my husband and son's dismay (and my own, why not), in less than two weeks, I managed to nibble my way through two tins of two kilos each of my favourite sort of Gutsies.
(or seams )
Have increased my Kundalini Yoga weekly sessions and cut "empty" calories elsewhere to make up for my sin...