Indulge me... this is fun...
federica
Seeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
Funny Phrases:
"Whet Your Appetite"...
It’s no wonder that many people misspell the phrase “whet your appetite.” After all, your mouth waters when your appetite is stirred, so why wouldn’t the phrase be spelled as “wet your appetite”? In its most literal sense, “whet” means to sharpen...
Others I have found on a regular basis, mainly on FB and another forum I frequent....
You don't 'wrack' or 'wreck' havoc; you wreak havoc.
That said, snooker balls are racked, brains are wracked.
‘It really peaked their interest.’ No, it piqued their interest.
Something sad and tragic is heart- rending...not heart rendering
Tenet not tenant. As in ‘The basic tenet of Buddhism is that Life is stressful, and we can transcend Stress.’
I meant it as a nice jester. Argh...! No, hang on. That’s ‘gesture’.
I shutter to think. It’s ‘shuDDer’.
Taking something for granted, not taking something for granite
It's not a "doggie dog" world, it’s a ‘dog eat dog’ world.
Nip it in the bud, not the butt.
A versus B, not A verse B
You ‘pore’ over a document. You ‘pour’ cream over.
And America, you have a right to BEAR arms. On the beach, or in summer, you have a right to "bare arms."
Taken aback, not taken back…
Finally, you are not butt naked. You are buck naked.
Any more you guys know of?
Comments
Gnaw...that about covers it!
People often say "the proof is in the pudding". The saying should be " the proof of the pudding is in the eating".
One of my favorites (used to jingle my nerves) is close proximity.
(I know...peeps are saying, "what's wrong with that?"
I shall reign over my kingdom...not rain droplets over it.
Very common in the US:
"I could care less"
When the opposite is meant. "I couldn't care less"
I axed him a question about the nucular arms race. More importantly, he answered. His answer effected me deeply.
Yes!! I have always been mystified when I hear Americans say this?
How about irregardless which kinda means not regardless.
Yellow jaundice. 'Jaundice' _means- - yellow. So you're suffering from... 'yellow yellow'....
And -
'At this moment in time.'
Oh, you mean, 'right now'...?
Apparently, not necessarily.
I've heard "right now, at this moment in time...." SMH.....
Or 'burglarize'.
What the heck was wrong with the already-existent 'burgled'...?!
(Somebody told me that a person is burgled, but the action by someone who burgles, is 'to burglarize'.... )
Er.... No. Nice try but no pie.....
burglarize is the only term I've ever heard, so perhaps it is cultural or regional. I still can't for the life of me understand why the Brits spell "er" words as "re" lol
goose=geese
moose=moose
house=houses
mouse=mice
Never understand why mouses is too difficult but houses works.
"Ummm, every picture of you is of when you were younger"
Can't remember who that was but I'm thinking Dane Cook?
... and the final result was a procedure in the hospital....
this thread is making me hungry...
When I read the thread header I thought it might actually be fun!
You guys are such geeks......
Have you lived here all your life? Not yet.
Aw this thread..this line?..this route?
Kind of like having egg in your beer, eh? 
(Somehow those emoticons don't seem to come out as advertised.)
G'nite!
Bleedin' colonials, messing abart wiv the Queen's English.
Many years ago I had a coworker who had just left the Marines. He told me that a big part of boot camp (basic training) was about installing discipline.
Since USMC refer to themselves as Jarheads, I could only wonder, do they just pour it in?
I plead the 5th.
Ok, I'm calling this one on myself. In a post on another thread this morning, I wrote: "....for the record I'm a long time opponent of it..." For what record? I'm not a politician and this isn't a newspaper. It's just hot air. I read and hear this a lot, sometimes from me
@federica a beautiful take on a poiesis,
or are you just making out here!
...\lol/...
I am sorry if this is a bit vulgar. :P
Some guys from my work can't help giggling out loud at the shortened name for this association.
British Association of Plastic Surgeons (BAPS)
BAPS is a funny word, I used to eat filled baps for lunch at one time.
I doubt that is what they find amusing.
To all intense end purposes...
I put him on a peddlestal....
Another one I found - and one which, amazingly, Americans are beginning to correct/change:
"I could care less".
It's more appropriate and sounds more correct to say "I COULDN'T care less".
I'm quite surprised to see a fair number of Americans amending the former term, which I always thought was widely used, adopted and accepted by the USA, and insisting that in fact, it should be the latter....
I'm in the couldn't care less camp, but I found this, which is very much in the spirit of this thread:
In Defense of I Could Care Less
BTW, the author claims a First-level certification in Klingon, which I find admirable, even if irrelevant to this subject
I think he should stick to Klingon, I'm not convinced by any of his arguments... the words 'straws' and 'clutching at', spring to mind...
Actually, I do think could care less may have originated in sarcasm. I've heard it used that way all my life. "Listen, I could care less what you want, we are doing it my way!" as opposed to "Whatever you want to do is fine, I couldn't care less". But at some point could replaced couldn't in general, non-sarcastic usage, particularly among less educated speakers.
I would find it hilarious to see before and afters of my posts, hahahaha. There is almost always an edit time on me, because I go back to read it, and something catches my eye..."Is that spelled right?".... "Wait, am I saying that saying right?"....And I end up looking stuff up and going back to fix it. I'm not trying to get on anyone's nerves, but real talk is....my vocab and formal education just isn't up to the level of some people here. I used to be more insecure about it....but TBH....Other than trying my ass off to educate myself...there's not much more I can do. I can take correction and love learning!!!! I certainly can talk, lolololol, and have no problems communicating what I'm trying to say...as for the grammer/spelling police around here...Whether it's pity or just plain give up....I dont get tickets, so I'll keep on cruisin' ....
I'm the king of after post edits, probably two out of three posts I do. @Vastmind, your stuff always looks great. By the way, I don't see @Federica as the word police, she speaks the Queen's English, that's all. She keeps me on my toes, I see a mistake and think "What will @Federica Think"
Gotta fix it! 
No word police here....I was just bustin' her chops.
....Like I said...she probably gave up on me long ago....lololololol..
@federica, if you want to enjoy the English language at its finest, might I suggest a week or two in Down East Maine. They speak it wicked good thayah, ayuh. Oddly enough, couldn't care less seems to be the norm.
"Beauty is only skin deep."
No schytt Sherlock, you don't say... What do you want, an attractive pancreas....?
Yeah, no such thing as an attractive pancreas. So, are you sure this doesn't belong in the long running "How to overcome lust?" thread? As in, "meditate on the pancreas until the feeling passes."
I could care less.
We say it because when we say, "I don't give a $#@&" people get mad.
Post the Post edits are always interesting, or almost always so. Kind of like going for it hook, line and sinker only to find you missed the boat
or it finally came in only to sink at the dock. 
Getting under my skin lately and making me want to kick someone's backside is: "It is what it is."
My older son uses it to sound grownup ... and others trot it out as a means of asserting control or sounding mystically savvy or some damned thing ... and, well, don't get me started on the Buddhists.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Same effect on me as nails on a blackboard.... I get where you're coming from, @genkaku.... and all those other irritating pseudo-hip sayings which originated as 'business-speke.... (pushing the envelope, running it up the flag-pole..... Aaaargh!!)
Someone else who knows precisely what I mean....
When I was a kid, adults searching for a way to hold back the tsunami of cuss words their children either did or would soon know sometimes argued that only people who had a poor command of the language resorted to cuss words ... they sounded like dummies.
Given half a chance, I will still stick up for cuss words, but the office jargon or endlessly-employed toys of academe or business ... well, I kind of wonder if the same argument would not hold some water: S/he who doesn't dare to speak without jargon is socially-or mentally-fragile at best and dumber than dannit at worst.
The old rule of journalism reallly does strike me as sane: Stand up, speak up and shut up... although, looking at some of my postings on this board, insanity seems to be my lot.
Shouldn't it be "I couldn't care less" though?
Yes, absolutely.
On another note, it was so nice today that I went outside and tiptoed through the two lips.
Fertilised by Hamster Jam....
One of my non-favourites is when people say "At the end of the day", which seems like a lazy way of trying to have the last word in an argument. Previously I remember people saying "When all is said and done".
Dumber than dannit? What's a dannit? Is that phrase related to all those other ones -- like madder than a wet chicken hawk...or a bunch of others I can't think of right now. I MUST be dumber than dannit.
I always cut in and say - "It gets dark....!"