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I have been in and out during the summer, reading some but not posting. Our house shows a lack of attention to housework as well, lol. My meditation practice right now is non-existant. It happens almost every summer, probably because we have so little truly nice weather here that I feel I must take full advantage of the sunshine and non-boot wearing weather.
Sometimes, I feel anxiety that my practice isn't scheduled, that I am not doing seated meditation as much. But it seems to happen yearly and I come back in the fall and do great all the rest of the year. Does anyone else get this waxing and waning and not stress about it? Sometimes I worry that I'm going backwards, but my practice really is always with me. It's just not scheduled into time on my cushion as much because it is instead incorporated into my running, hiking, gardening, lawn mowing, and so on.
This summer has flown by. In 9 days, my oldest son leaves for college. He will only be 300 miles away but it will be such a change. I have been spending lots of time with him and talking about upcoming changes and challenges in his life. Now that the time is so close, I am starting to miss the grounding nature of my meditation practice. Sometimes life seems to move so fast I can't catch my breath and that is how right now is. This is my son's last weekend home, he will spend it camping with my dad and his little brother, which is awesome. Then he will be leaving, and as I told a friend earlier today, it is a constant battle between excitement at him starting a new section of his life, and a perpetual lump in my throat. My son has AS, and while I am incredibly proud of him going off to college, it invokes a special kind of stress and worry as well. I know all will be fine, and these are times I rely on my practice to carry me through, of course, I haven't been practicing much.
When your practice wanes, do you embrace it and just go with whatever each day brings? or do you find a devotion and motivation to carry you through to sit (or whatever) whether you feel like it or not? My renewed love of running (which I was told I shouldn't do and my bad knee feels better than ever since I started running in June) has been excellent for my thought process and relaxation. It is a moving mediation for me, so to speak. But I feel something is lacking again so clearly it is time to start sitting again.
Anyhow, just rambling and checking in. Interested in your thoughts. 91 on Saturday here. That is downright ridiculous for heat in northern MN. It could break a record. I'm mellllltttiing!