What can I say to my brother
Mingle
Veteran
He's always been one of lifes lucky ones in which he's as dull as interesting as a wet carrot but he's always had women throwing himself at him and I'm not gonna lie I've been jelous of him. Even though he's 2 years younger than me he has always looked like the older one cause he has a better beard and stronger features. The thing is though his looks is all he really has and for the last few years he has been losing his hair badly and mines still pretty dam thick so he has decided to own it and shave it all off. This has not gone unnoticed to people though, suddenly he's not getting the same attention anymore and people are saying he looks old and he's only in his 20's. I gotta say I feel kinda bad for him even though suddenly I feel pretty good to have hair. I know its a really big thing for him, he used to have women drooling over him now him simply cutting his hair has changed that. Should he grow it back? After all it is clinging to what is rapidly disappearing and I'm running out of things to say to him in my efforts to cheer him up.
Comments
Hair is a great example of impermanence.
It's ironic though really because of all this hairspray and fussing his vanity is the very thing making him lose his hair.
No it isn't. It's his chromosomes. He can't change it. Nothing you can say will make his hair grow.
We don't just lose our hair. We lose our health, we lose our life.
Luck only takes most of us so far.
This may sound silly but I'd ask him if he wants to do some volunteer work with me.
Nothing brings back a feeling of self worth better than knowing we are helping someone.
Tell him he looks better with his head shaved and he reminds you of Bruce Willis, even if says he doesn't believe you. Complements are remembered when criticisms are forgotten.
I started shaving my head after developing alopecia areata about 10 years ago. I found that I actually like it, it feels so clean and neat. It does make my head get chilly fast in winter, but I got used to wearing a toque in weather when I normally wouldn't have before.
If it's really bugging your brother, I think I might remind him about how silly and superficial our appearances are. If a woman is attracted to you only for your hair, or whatever physical attribute, she might not be a good long-term partner anyway.
Listen/watch to India Arie's song " I am not my hair" . the cultural/color/religious references may be different for you...but it hits home the message. I would normally copy and paste it for you...but I'm using a tablet right now and I haven't gotten that proficient with it yet....hahaha.
I've had to remind myself of some of the very things people have said on this thread....I've stopped coloring my hair. Time to accept the gray...and not accept what society pushes down my throat about women and gray hair. I must admit...the silver and white is giving the faux hawk a different funky look all on its own...hahaha
@Mingle
Life supplies everyone with up front and personal daily lessons on impermanence.
The folks who really need to be concerned about, are those still suffering in the denial of this teaching.
Just what do you see daily in your mirror?
Maybe more than just his hair has changed...maybe since he's maturing (as all of us, natch), he's not attracting the same type of women as before. Just like anything -
I'm pretty sure that your brother has other interests too, besides woman. Perhaps you could encourage those? In most hobbies hair is not required. I keep hearing that sports are good for one's self-confidence and helps to battle depression, anxiety and plenty of other things.
This is, of course, not a very Buddhist answer. Is he a Buddhist?
I thought that was reasonably skillful advice, @Shim. Fwiw, I like the Bruce Willis bald look.
I must say...I like bald and bald fades too
!
How many women does he need? Surely there is a nice one out there that is interested in a bald guy. Perhaps it's time to move on to the next phase of life.
Agree with @robot, I was about to say the same thing.
Have you thought about shaving your head in solidarity and surprising him?
Here's the song I was talking about along with the lyrics :
I loved that. Thanks for sharing it with me.
Hair transplant is solution but still need to have proper care to save them. Onion juice is good remedy to grow hair. Coconut oil with garlic paste kept for seeveral days can make hair dark and strong.
he is seriously bummed out over hair?
Yes.. good.... however, I can't help thinking such remedies may have the opposite effect, when it comes to 'attracting the ladies.... less compunction.... more repulsion, with added propulsion...
Need to wash hair in morning after keeping it for some hours in night.
Yes... but you see, I think the 'night' time may be the most critical point of the encounter.....You really don't want a bedroom that stinks of two of the most pungent vegetables ever, while you're...erm... whispering sweet nothings'....you know.... 'Pillow talk'....
Your hair cream recipe is particularly offensive to vamps.
Here to help
Ooooh, I dunno....
My question is @rohit , did you try it yourself?
I think coconut will help with shine but may be not growing it (at least not noticeably)
well, I will say that while I have been using coconut oil as a face balm, my eyelashes have improved in condition and length. But this has been twice-daily application for around 6 weeks now, and there is still room for improvement....
Rohit, are you saying that applying onion juice to the scalp will regrow hair in bald areas?
OP, do you notice baldness in other male family members? If it is genetic, I guess there is no fix.
Otherwise, coconut oil is good for hair breakage due to dryness or fizziness, as it adds softness and strength to hair. It might even nourishing to the hair follicle a bit, but what I think is it will take really long time to see the sprouts of hairs from healthy follicles because of the oil.
One more thing comes up on my mind is castor oil. I tried it, it is very sticky and not feel as enjoyable as coconut oil. I try it because I see this oil in the ingredients list of an expensive product. But I am not consistent with that.
Y'all aren't really advising @Mingle to tell his brother he should slap coconut oil or onion juice on his bald head to grow his hair back, are you? That's the kind of advice usually given by "best friends" followed by snickering. Guys usually do something a bit more obvious like give their brother a cheap Halloween wig for Christmas gift, or a jar of bowling bowl wax.
actually, what also helps is continued follicle stimulation. roughly massaging the scalp twice daily, or even brushing hairless areas with a soft brush can actually stimulate follicles to grow. But it takes time, and dedication. It does work, but you won't grow a gloriously lush, full lions' mane overnight, admittedly.
I don't think hair is the problem or the solution.
It's about an inch or two deeper than that, I'd reckon.
...and an 'insightful' to boot....!
My old boss used to describe his bald patch as a solar panel for a sex god.
I once asked a friend of mine, who had gone prematurely bald (whatever that is... if you go bald, it's your time to go bald, innit...?) "Dave," I said, "When you wash your face, how do you know where to stop..?" (Raucous laughter round the dinner table....)
Oh ho, good one, feddie - they're ALL good. So how do I "promote" you for that one?
I used to care about how I looked, I was freakishly skinny in the past, and I was embarrassed of how thin I was, so I wore many layers of clothing and long sleeve shirts to hide my skinny body, especially my arms, even when it was hot outside, eventually, slowly but gradually, I realized that nobody really cares how I look, and that was that.
I am applying garlic paste and coconut oil mixture and it helps.
Onion paste is used by my sibling did great work to grow lossed hair.
Coconut oil with garlic paste mixture made my hair dark and strong. It will also help to regain hair.
Otherwise onion juice helps instance new hair growth experienced by many people.
Need to apply once or twice per week.
You may apply coconut oil to palm and feet before sleep in night and it will help good sleep and eye relief.
Another recepy is few amount of fenugreek seeds,aloe vera extract paste (do not take yellow extract only transparent one
), mix it in coconut oil and boil it properly and apply on scalp regularly. It will improve density of hair.
It's unfortunate but sometimes you just can't say anything that will actually help. Suffering is just an inevitable fact of life. The only thing that would actually help him is just to not be so attached to looks and youth. But, it's quite difficult to talk someone into not being so attached to their looks and youth. But of course, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to help.
It sounds like you're still acting from that jealous place, hence you can feel good and in revelling, rapidly become frustrated with your brother's feelings going so far as to consider that his feelings aren't actually relevant (it's just clinging).
As a suggestion of a different mindset, could you imagine shaving your hair too and being the baldy brothers?
Seems like the planet should run out of onions.
It seems to me that if a man is attractive, he would remain attractive as he goes bald. If he is getting uglier as his hair falls out it's likely not his only problem.
If a man is accustomed to getting looks from young women he may notice when those girls aren't as interested. But maybe he is not noticing the looks that are coming from the more mature women. The women his own age for example.
For some reason guys think that they should be attractive to young women even as they age. Sometimes they are. Some should just grow up.