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Humility and Esteem

Do you have low self esteem? Is this a psychological problem? Personally I think low self esteem is a subtle form of subliminal arrogance by monkey mind. In effect belittling an important person.

Rabbi Simcha Bunim of Peshicha (1765-1827) used to say that everyone should keep a piece of paper with “for my sake the world was created” in one pocket, and a piece of paper with “I am but dust and ashes” in another.
The Rabbi (PBUH) was expressing an essential spiritual truth: each individual being is important, but not self-important.

http://www.existentialbuddhist.com/tag/humility/

Outwardly, humility is not always stressed in Buddhism. In other paths it is important. What is it? How and why does it arise?

EarthninjammoShimJeffreyyagr

Comments

  • Well said @federica, the Dalai Lama is a perfect example of balance between the extremes and reality ...

    For me the ongoing humility development went through several stages:

    • Acting passively and subserviently. I feel this suited the passive part of my passive/aggressive psychology and was therefore making a psychological imbalance a spiritual quality. Not real. Monkey minded justification.

    • Pre-enlightenment I realised I did not have the qualities required for awakening, I could at least change my behaviour to help someone who was awake, if the situation arose ... This was more real. Serve the truth rather than have it inflate or promote the ego tendencies.

    • Post enlightenment I felt a growing sense of unworthiness, the 'I am dust' spiritual syndrome

    • An increasing devotion to service and the Mahayana ideal, in a sense this is the unfolding of the second rabbinical paper ...

    • Now I tell everyone how humble I am, just in case they doubt it is possible ... ;) [I iz so humble]

    Here is part of a training methodology:
    http://www.dalailama.com/teachings/training-the-mind/verse-2

    Time to go bow to my master 'mara' the very naughty ...

  • Will_BakerWill_Baker Vermont Veteran

    It seems to me humility and esteem are two sides of the same coin...

    lobster
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited September 2015

    @Will_Baker said:
    It seems to me humility and esteem are two sides of the same coin...

    Indeed. How so? Say more. As @genkaku alludes mistakes are acceptable/forgiveable ... even by us :)

    Quite often I find particular ideas are presented better in other traditions. New Age systems often incorporates half digested truisms that may initially be seen as wisdom. Are they however moving the person forward or making a caricature 'humble' seeker? Following a tradition is a commitment to the language, behaviour template and other aspects that co-ordinate our efforts. This is different to indoctrination systems that attempt to narrow the proscribed reading list, approved teacher list and other narrowing.

    Are self cherishing/esteem/confidence part of humility? How many have mistaken wishy-washy passivity for humility?

  • Will_BakerWill_Baker Vermont Veteran

    Indeed. How so? Say more.
    -We are at once nothing yet we are everything. We are at once gods and cannibals. We can destroy and lay waste and then give birth to a new day. Each moment we can become more or less than what we now are. We can create the Sistine chapel and then have a wet-fart and crap our pants.

    On another level, I would argue our perception of the world is due in large part to the output of binary opposition determinations. Thus, one can't have the highs without the lows, or in this case humility without esteem...

    lobster
  • @Will_Baker said:
    Thus, one can't have the highs without the lows, or in this case humility without esteem...

    Interesting.

    The kabbalists say, 'for every virtue there is a vice'.
    In zen I doubt if they care about the difference ... B)

    I wonder how equanimity and emptiness transcends or dissolves this dualism ...

  • @lobster said:
    Outwardly, humility is not always stressed in Buddhism.

    Perhaps it is unnecessary to do so. Proper practice shows us ourselves. How can anyone fail to find humility with sincere practice. Without a sincere effort to walk the path, humility remains elusive.

    Stressing its importance to one who can't hear is a poor use of effort. Stressing it to someone who has a sincere practice is unnecessary.

    silverlobsterEvenThirdBuddhadragon
  • This reminds me of a teacher who said the the effect that "I am equal to the greatest person in this land, as are you. But do not forget that the beggar on the street is equal to you and me."
    One can only be truly humble if one has high self-esteem.
    Of course, self-esteem is not the same as arrogance or "being full of oneself" (an aspect of fundamental darkness)...
    But then, I state the obvious. Oh well.

    Coffee's worn off again. :3

    Peace to all

    silver
  • Interesting point @yagr well said. As always thanks guys. We live and learn.

    Iz plan

    yagr
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @Lionduck said:
    This reminds me of a teacher who said the the effect that

    "I am equal to the greatest person in this land, as are you. But do not forget that the beggar on the street is equal to you and me."

    Interesting that he did not say: I am equal to the beggar on the street. But do not forget that the greatest person in the land is equal to you and me."

    Maybe it's just me, but that conjures up a subtly different notion....

    One can only be truly humble if one has high self-esteem.

    And I should know....

    :p

    lobsteryagrsilver
  • Will_BakerWill_Baker Vermont Veteran
    edited September 2015

    @lobster said: Interesting.
    The kabbalists say, 'for every virtue there is a vice'.
    In zen I doubt if they care about the difference ...

    -Agreed. As an aside, perhaps there is no difference...

    I wonder how equanimity and emptiness transcends or dissolves this dualism ...

    -It seems to me this dualism is probably an illusion; just because our perception is based on binary opposition determinations doesn't make it accurate :-) My take is emptiness subsumes most everything, even stardust; that's why we are at once nothing yet we are everything...

    lobstersilverWalker
  • @federica said:
    Interesting that he did not say: I am equal to the beggar on the street. But do not >forget that the greatest person in the land is equal to you and me."

    Maybe it's just me, but that conjures up a subtly different notion...

    I see your point.
    I have heard the saying that 'the king is the beggar and the beggar is the king' or vice versa. It is also, of course that the student is the teacher and the teacher is the student. The difference, if any, is in the perception, not the reality. [someone will probably come up with the 'What is reality?' thread - oh well.]

    In truth, I have known some street folk as well as some so called 'movers and shakers'.
    I noticed, beneath the surface, the street people often showed a level of dignity that the 'movers and shakers' were hard pressed to match.

    Peace to all

    pommesetoranges
  • @Lionduck said:
    I noticed, beneath the surface, the street people often showed a level of dignity that the 'movers and shakers' were hard pressed to match.

    Well spotted.

    Most of us are easily distracted by the superficial (naked men jumping as decorative sock puppets, beautiful women smiling an inanity or the latest wise guru cliche)

    We confuse content with container.

    Part of the reason stillness and equanimity is stressed again and again in maturing dharma is because the capacity to critically evaluate our own and therefore others content is to not be distracted by the superficial ...

    ... oh look a magical butterfly ...

    silverLionduck
  • BuddhadragonBuddhadragon Ehipassiko & Carpe Diem Samsara Veteran

    A matter of perspective, a matter of nuances...

    Poor self-esteem and arrogance are both in the eye of the beholder, and our passing judgment on others is more revealing of the state of our own self-esteem than it is of the person we point the finger at.

    Sometimes, people with poor self-esteem would like to think of themselves as humble, when in fact they are mere doormats.
    And they love to call the self-confident person arrogant, when in fact it's plain envy, which once more begins and ends, in the eye of the beholder.

    Humility to me comes from respecting others as much as we respect ourselves.
    Because we can acknowledge the difficulty and harshness of our path, we are able to acknowledge our neighbour's strife.
    Self-confidence is stemmed in a "we're in this together" attitude.
    Self-confidences extends the hand to the other in order to tread the path together and help ease the bumps in the road.

    Self-confidence is not judgmental. Low self-esteem is.

    silver
  • @lobster, that magical butterfly is fascinating! Can we adopt it? <3

  • <3 I was hoping @federica would tell us how to stir fry it ... >:)
    [lobster is sent to back of dharma class]

    Wrong speech? :3 Cruelty to imaginary culinary creatures? o:)

    Adoption papers applied for ... ;)

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