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Blaming Others

BunksBunks Australia Veteran

I have started to notice more and more lately how I blame others when I make a mistake or do the wrong thing.

For example, I broke our fish tank filter the other day by taking too much water out while cleaning the tank.

Instead of openly and honestly admitting it to myself I started to inwardly blame my wife as she bought the fish tank for my daughter for her birthday. If she'd never bought the tank then I'd have never had to clean it so wouldn't have this issue.

The self cherishing mind is very powerful.

JohnMacShoshin

Comments

  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran

    Great, now I have to worry about my thoughts.

    Thanks a lot!

    Shoshin
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    No, just the crappy projecting ones....

    I frequent a relationships forum, and you have absolutely no idea of the sheer scale of blame-shifters when it comes to 'breaking up'. The people who are dumped forever put the responsibility for their happiness, or lack of it, onto the shoulders of the person who dumped them...

    BunksDavid
  • JohnMacJohnMac Dr Scotland Veteran

    It's always easier to blame someone else, then we don't have to look at our own failings ...that's why we have the TV/radio/music on all the time, we can't stand to be alone with ourselves...most of us that is....

    Shoshin
  • silversilver In the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded. USA, Left coast. Veteran

    Scandal.......Where were we all when we first got the idea - the notion that it was 'bad' to have blame fall on our shoulders? Who knows. From the pettiest things, too.

  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    @silver said:
    Scandal.......Where were we all when we first got the idea - the notion that it was 'bad' to have blame fall on our shoulders? Who knows. From the pettiest things, too.

    Yes!

    Sometimes when I am annoyed about something done to me I think "How would I feel if this had been done to the guy I sit next to at work (as an example)"?

    Paaaa, couldn't care less so why the histrionics!

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    At least I can safely say that when I need to moderate a troll or spammer, it really wasn't my fault they got banned.....

  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran
    edited January 2016

    Ah the blame game ...
    Personally I blame @Bunks for everything, including starting this thread...Bloody trouble maker :lol:

    BunkslobsterKundo
  • upekkaupekka Veteran
    edited January 2016

    @Shoshin said:
    Ah the blame game ...
    Personally I blame @Bunks for everything, including starting this thread...Bloody trouble maker :lol:

    you have asked for it, it is not the fault of @Bunks
    that is why you have got it now
    so it is useless to blame anyone
    if you want to blame someone
    blame yourself

    you know the lesson 'kamma and kamma vipaka'
    do not blame me now
    you have asked for 'this' too
    so this is the new kamma vipaka , he he

    i should have ignored this thread
    since i didn't,i have to face the repercussion
    any way what ever it is
    i eat humble pie

    Bunkslobster
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    ...And I also blame @upekka ... @Bunks partner in crime :)

    Bunksupekkalobster
  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    ......and how quickly we forgive ourselves when we offend someone but god forbid anyone say anything about us!! We stew on it for days, weeks, months.

    Shoshinlobster
  • NeleNele Veteran

    I like the lojong slogan, "Drive all blames into one".

    ShoshinBunkslobster
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran
    edited January 2016

    @Bunks said:
    ......and how quickly we forgive ourselves when we offend someone but god forbid anyone say anything about us!! We stew on it for days, weeks, months.

    Or we can just drop it ..... Forgive them for they know not what they do , and try to learn from one's experience... ( an experience of attachment to the elusive self who is never around when one seeks it, but always there to share the experience...... )

    It's interesting @Bunks ...when it comes to the person that one might feel pisses them off no end, more often than not all one is doing is providing them free rent & board inside ones head space.....and at times they might ask for extra stuff to make their living space more comfortable inside ones head and one willingly obliges them free of charge .....So... Who is really t o blame ? Go figure...

    Bunks
  • i forgot Buddha's advice 'let go'
    attachment to this thread brings 'suffering'
    so i exist and i suffer in writing this post
    and
    i bring suffering to others too

    @Bunks said:
    ..We stew on it for days, weeks, months.

    not me
    because i know what happened was happened
    i can not change it
    instead
    when 'kamma vipaka' comes
    i remind myself
    'this too will pass'

    MTGBY

    Bunks
  • @Nele said:
    I like the lojong slogan, "Drive all blames into one".

    I blame the Buddha :po:):3;)

  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    @lobster said:

    @Nele said:
    I like the lojong slogan, "Drive all blames into one".

    I blame the Buddha :po:):3;)

    ...And the Buddha blames your self :)

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    I knew we'd hit that old chestnut at some point.

  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    I blame the Americans.

    NirvanaWill_Baker
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran
    edited January 2016

    There was a time where I'd blame someone for being on the same sidewalk as me just because I was in a crap mood.

    Blame sucks.

    Taking responsibility is where it's at.

    BunksShoshinlobster
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