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Funny Stuff

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Comments

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    I would so love that to be photoshopped but I have a ghastly feeling it isn't.... :Omg:

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    WalkerpersonShoshin
  • RichdawsonRichdawson Explorer
    edited September 2016

    Some of my favorite shirts.

    personShoshinFosdick
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
  • GuiGui Veteran

    I have actually done this but alone on a park bench. When the stranger asked me if I knew the time, I turned to the space next to me and said, "I thought you said they couldn't see us.". He just turned and walked quickly away.

    WalkerShoshinNirvana
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    A man and his wife are sitting in a restaurant, when a beautiful woman approaches them, and as she passes, she slows and subtly caresses the man's back...
    The wife asks angrily, "Who was that - ?!"
    The man replies, "Oh that...? That's my Mistress...."
    "Right!" Retorts the wife, "That's it! I'm filing for divorce!"
    "Ok," he replies calmly, "but remember our pre-nup. If we get divorced you'll have no more trips to Paris, no more Holidays on the French Riviera, no more shopping trips to Rome, no more yacht, no more Bentley in the Garage, no more Tudor mansion, no more visiting relatives in New York...."

    The wife goes silent for a moment, in thought, then she spies one of her husband's colleagues coming in, with a woman on his arm...

    "Who's that with Harry?" she asks in a whisper..
    "That's HIS mistress...."
    "Oh.... Ours is prettier...."

  • KeromeKerome Love, love is mystery The Continent Veteran

    Heh, i found that last one really sad... how easily people are persuaded by money, rather than by their principles or their feelings of love. Osho once said people should stay together only as long as there was love, and not be sad when it was over and it was time to move on. I always thought that was a beautiful sentiment for how one should live ones life, heart first.

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited October 2016

    Love as a concept doesn't exist. It is, in and of itself, an imaginary concept, by very virtue of the fact it requires definition and clarification....

  • Steve_BSteve_B Far southwest corner of Indiana, USA Veteran

    Perspective. Humor requires enough commonality of background that the subplot is assumed. You may be too young for that joke. As an old guy, I found it funny.

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Woman is getting down 'n' dirty with her lover, on the satin sheets... when her 'phone goes... It's her husband's ring-tone....
    Lover stops mid-coupling... freezes.... she answers the phone....

    "Hello darling.... Oh, yes? .....Alright darling, don't worry, I haven't cooked yet.... no, that's fine... yes, ok then...Good luck! see you later!"

    She hangs up.
    Her lover, in mild panic mode, asks, "Is he coming home??"
    "No, don't worry" she murmurs, getting comfy, "He's going to be very late. Apparently, he's having a Boy's Night, and playing Poker.... with you...."

    person
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran
    edited October 2016

    On Thursday I along with other staff at our office attended a workshop put on by a Christian organisation that provides a similar service to what we do ( we are not affiliated with any faith based organisation but many are),...
    Anyhow when it came to lunch time (the workshop was held at an hotel in Auckland... they put on a nice lunch even catered for vegetarians) one of the church pastors stood up to say grace... he "Blah blah" a bit and then said " and please lord give us the strength, not to fall asleep after lunch during the afternoon session!" well one of my work colleagues burst out laughing which set the rest of us off, including some of the religious members.... It cracks me up just thinking about it :awesome: :lol: .

  • KeromeKerome Love, love is mystery The Continent Veteran
    edited October 2016

    @federica said:
    Love as a concept doesn't exist. It is, in and of itself, an imaginary concept, by very virtue of the fact it requires definition and clarification....

    A topic deserving of its own thread I think, there is much you could say that love is an entryway into the beneficial emotions of compassion and loving-kindness.

    @Steve_B said:
    Perspective. Humor requires enough commonality of background that the subplot is assumed. You may be too young for that joke. As an old guy, I found it funny.

    Perhaps I have refused to acquire the necessary cynicism. 45 is not that young :)

    justushobbits
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Or maybe it's just a different sense of humour. I told this to a friend/colleague of mine, who recently divorced her husband for his philandering ways. She laughed like a drain.

  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    I hate it when people are at your house and ask "Do you have a bathroom?"
    ...No we crap in the yard !

    silver
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    (You haven't been to my house....)

  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    WalkerDairyLama
  • @Shoshin said:
    I hate it when people are at your house and ask "Do you have a bathroom?"
    ...No we crap in the yard !

    You have a yard to crap in?! Sheer luxury!

    ShoshinFosdick
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    God-almighty's Luxury Law strikes again!

    Vastmind
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    WalkerpersonDairyLamaVastmind
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    @IronRabbit said:

    ...and there I was thinking that a wise person thinks 'outside' the square :wink:

  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

  • Christmas present for Someone Who Already Has everything

  • silversilver In the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded. USA, Left coast. Veteran

    Erm, uh, what happened to your couth, @namada?! O.o

    Maybe it's in that uh backpack. Phew. :scream:

  • NamadaNamada Veteran
    edited November 2016

    This is what happens when you get influensed by watching the presidental debate, jokes under the seatbelt really leads you to power.

    silver
  • silversilver In the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded. USA, Left coast. Veteran

  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @silver said:
    Erm, uh, what happened to your couth, @namada?! O.o

    Maybe it's in that uh backpack. Phew. :scream:

    Remember, the person carrying it, is part of the 'picture'... the name 'dickhead' springs to mind....

  • Steve_BSteve_B Far southwest corner of Indiana, USA Veteran

    (CNN)Some Americans unhappy with last Tuesday's election results have found a new and creative way to protest.

    They're sending donations to Planned Parenthood in the name of Vice President-elect Mike Pence, who has called for cutting off federal funds to the organization and -- as governor of Indiana -- imposed tougher restrictions on abortion for women in his state.
    Planned Parenthood sends certificates to thank donors -- so all those certificates are being sent to Pence's address.

    VastmindWalkersilverlobster
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