Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
anger
shep83
wisbech, cambigshire, uk Explorer
Today I experienced the beginning of an angry episode, I'm not prone to angry outburst but I do on occasion suffer with bouts of frustration which in turn lead to angry thoughts today I felt a frustration towards a colluege of mine, but it never developed in to anything, perhaps I was experienceing what Is commonly known as mindfulness, I was aware that I was beginning to get angry but it was almost as if I were watching it happen to someone other than myself, dose this make sense to anyone else or am I just deluding myself?
1
Comments
Nope. Makes perfect sense. There is some Buddhist advice that counsels us to "observe" our comings and goings as if we were watching a film, a play, a tv programme, and that we can 'see' ourselves as we act... It makes sense....
That kind of experiencing of different emotions in altered states of mind is something I've had as well, and I associate it with prolonged periods of concentration or meditation. It seems to be harmless... I find sleep usually resets things.
@shep83 said, "...perhaps I was experienceing what Is commonly known as mindfulness, I was aware that I was beginning to get angry but it was almost as if I were watching it happen to someone other than myself, dose this make sense to anyone else or am I just deluding myself?"
Sounds like a first step towards you developing more awareness and mindfulness, yes. A good thing.
As humans we are clueless of the full range of cause and effect. We can only go by experience. If we are lucky sometimes we might be able to see our faults, wrong views, and negligence whlie they occur as thoughts. We can then disregard or learn from them.
I experience something like this on nearly a daily basis. Sometimes I think of it metaphorically as a bank of interconnected switches in the mind - something in the environment will trigger the first switch, sending energy up the line toward a particular response - anger, for example.
Then there is a second switch, and we have the choice whether to open it and become angry, or close the switch and stop that energy from being passed into the response, the ordinary default reaction to the stimulus.
In some cases, I have to deliberately close the second switch, in others closing the switch has become the default response, but I am always aware of it when the 'first switch' is triggered.
It is not just gross emotional reactions like anger, fear, lust and so on that are compatible with this kind of metaphorical perception, but what seems like an infinite list of other, far more subtle responses as well. Where should energy be allowed to pass? What do we do with our desire?
Pertinent insight from @Fosdick
As an angry/passionate/easily riled semi Buddhist I am constantly being outwitted by my monkey minded emotions ...
Awareness does not always mean being master of the option to indulge or be skilfull
Fortunately I have experienced increasing awareness of solutions, which in my case is temp distraction ... and being kind as a general purpose rule ...
I plan to do better. No laughing please
This sounds like depersonalization/derealization, actually. I have it chronically. I never feel exactly as if I'm... here. I feel like I'm stuck in another dimension watching what I'm doing, that I can't get back to my body. If what triggered the anger was upsetting, and it probably was, your mind most likely was trying to dissociate away from that upset. Usually when I get angry, it causes a huge panic attack, I can't see, I feel like my heart is going to explode (I get palpitations and all), and I feel a million miles away. Anger further triggers my depersonalization/derealization. After having this condition for 14 years, it's pretty easy to identify for me when other people explain it. Not that it couldn't be something else, but I'm almost positive this is what you're explaining. But most people have at least one episode of this in their lives.
****> @IchLiebte said:
You may be right, I wasn't sure what I was experiencing at the time hence the post, thanks for all the replies.
well, noticing this feeling and catching it before it goes off the rails is a great thing. something i seriously failed at the other day when I yelled at my husband because the dog got into the leftovers. Mad at the dog, snapping at the hubs?? naw, that doesn't make sense! Wish I'd been able to stop myself then!
You'll get there ruddyduck, I often think this thing we do is one step forward two steps back..
@RuddyDuck9 said
Dogs are wonderful teachers - the more of them you have, the faster you learn!