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There is someone in my life who is stubbornly sticking to a role as a great inflictor of pain. I have tried shutting him out, but for some reason rejecting him caused me pain and guilt. When I invite him back in though he continues to shoot arrows of pain. I have tried loving kindness, but every time I show him that he then ups the ante to prove me wrong - that he is not worthy of love, that I should not forgive because he continues what he does, and that I should not show him my pain for he will take direct aim at it. He invited me to have an affair with him while his wife was out of town, this was after I had brought up (and forgiven) his own cheating when he and I were together (it has been years). This latest invitation to cheat is just yet another arrow that he sends to me, to her and to himself (which I kindly told him I could not accept) and yet, inside of me, I feel as though I have been hit. I am saddened to see him cling so desperately to his own misery. I now understand that telling him about my hurt only gives him a better target at which to aim, so I will no longer give him this. Still, it is hard for me not to suffer, because he has as much beauty inside of him as he has suffering - both are enormous. This is a person who has in many ways led to my awakening. I am grateful to him for this. I wish I could return in some capacity what has been given... every time I try to send love and compassion he responds by inflicting pain.
I know he is suffering, is it possible to strike a balance where I am able to protect myself from his arrows and his draining of my energy, without having to cut off all contact?