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For the first time in my life I am finally free to observe the world with a much wider understanding. Not bogged down by school schedules, each day is new. My perception of time and where I fit into it has changed greatly. I am noticing now the smaller more subtle changes that coalesce. Societally, culturally, individually.... seeing them happen and build up on one another.
I was thinking the other day. I am a history nut, academically and in pop culture. My favorite era is the 70s. People who say they were born in the wrong decade do not realize yet the threads of history still present today. I think with all the political commotion and messages of hate there is a potential for a new era of love and understanding, harkening back to similar past movements. The popular music right now is very emotionally raw, whether in rap/pop or indie genres. Aesthetics are mellowing out too--long hair, earth tones, simplicity and minimalism.
I think all people are taking it upon themselves to generate compassion and positivity in their own ways and it's beginning to reflect. Instead of lamenting the past I am very excited to watch the present unfold.
I am very young. I haven't seen much. I try to learn as much as I can, but that can't make up for lived experiences. I wonder what it will be like in the future, to be a witness to history, knowing I saw the Trump presidency unfold, and many other things which have yet to happen. But it is also nice right now on the precipice. I am old enough to be conscious of what is happening for the first time. I feel like every day I am taking my first steps again, learning all the wisdom I'll have later on in life.
Because I did not have the best childhood or teen years I am facing young adulthood like a little kid. It's great. I am truly beginning to understand what it means to be alive in this world, and to have my own place in it nonetheless. But it's so fun and enriching. I feel like the enthusiasm I should have had growing up is with me now, re emerged. I am thankful I found it again.
I'm never getting old. I will age and change but I'm staying as youthful as possible. Not having a normal childhood experience has made me much more appreciative of this side of myself, I don't want to let it go again just as I got it back.
Sorry this was a bit rambly, thank you for reading