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Changes in time

eggsavioreggsavior Dagobah Veteran

For the first time in my life I am finally free to observe the world with a much wider understanding. Not bogged down by school schedules, each day is new. My perception of time and where I fit into it has changed greatly. I am noticing now the smaller more subtle changes that coalesce. Societally, culturally, individually.... seeing them happen and build up on one another.

I was thinking the other day. I am a history nut, academically and in pop culture. My favorite era is the 70s. People who say they were born in the wrong decade do not realize yet the threads of history still present today. I think with all the political commotion and messages of hate there is a potential for a new era of love and understanding, harkening back to similar past movements. The popular music right now is very emotionally raw, whether in rap/pop or indie genres. Aesthetics are mellowing out too--long hair, earth tones, simplicity and minimalism.

I think all people are taking it upon themselves to generate compassion and positivity in their own ways and it's beginning to reflect. Instead of lamenting the past I am very excited to watch the present unfold.

I am very young. I haven't seen much. I try to learn as much as I can, but that can't make up for lived experiences. I wonder what it will be like in the future, to be a witness to history, knowing I saw the Trump presidency unfold, and many other things which have yet to happen. But it is also nice right now on the precipice. I am old enough to be conscious of what is happening for the first time. I feel like every day I am taking my first steps again, learning all the wisdom I'll have later on in life.

Because I did not have the best childhood or teen years I am facing young adulthood like a little kid. It's great. I am truly beginning to understand what it means to be alive in this world, and to have my own place in it nonetheless. But it's so fun and enriching. I feel like the enthusiasm I should have had growing up is with me now, re emerged. I am thankful I found it again.

I'm never getting old. I will age and change but I'm staying as youthful as possible. Not having a normal childhood experience has made me much more appreciative of this side of myself, I don't want to let it go again just as I got it back.

Sorry this was a bit rambly, thank you for reading

ShoshinlobsterDhammaDragon

Comments

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Moderator

    I love the thought-process revealed above.
    It's almost as if you're seeing Life as a fresh venture every day.

    The trick will be to keep this mind-set.

    lobsterDhammaDragon
  • eggsavioreggsavior Dagobah Veteran

    @federica that's what I thought too. But this struggle will just be something else to explore and discover with the same mind set.

    I have bad self discipline. But no matter what happens or mistakes I make I try to take it as a learning experience. This is what helped me rationalize all the years and happiness I lost before, and all the dumb things im getting into with my friends now (drinking, smoking, etc). No matter what I go through, I will use it to continue building myself. I can bridge tragedy, joy, silliness, and regret, etc, all together by taking them as learning experiences. Just as one lesson ends another begins.

    I love to learn. And I am so relieved knowing there's no end to it. I am not going to one day stop learning. There's no horizon where I've learned all I can. It is what makes this worthwhile to me, and helps me be grateful for everything I encounter.

    lobster
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    @eggsavior said:

    I'm never getting old. I will age and change but I'm staying as youthful as possible.

    I feel like every day I am taking my first steps again, learning all the wisdom I'll have later on in life.

    ""In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities,
    but in the expert's there are few.""

    ~Shunryu Suzuki~

    Hozan
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