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Now that I have a stronger grasp of Buddhist basics I am thinking about different concentrations. Of course I want to learn from all. But I want to find one which gives me a visceral experience, something which resonates deep inside of me. I feel like I will be ready for this moment soon, but I need the final push.
A few months ago in therapy I said I felt ready to do a lot of things, but something invisible was holding me back. She said it was my subconscious. After a lot of reflection I know this can only be true. I see my subconscious pain lined up before me.
With a past of mental illness I would like something more grounding than scripture or meditation. I have always been attracted to the devotional practice of pure land. Today was my day off. I watched several YouTube videos on pure land sutras and ideas. I felt very calm and at peace, especially when I listed to someone describe their experience of nembutsu.
I feel like I am ready to take another step in my life. Every few years is benchmarked with another crisis; this time I want to start with a good foundation. I believe a focus on Amida Buddha would help me love and accept everything, like an instrument of sorts. Plus I am relieved at the idea of a practice made specifically for times of "dharmic decline"
I have never much looked into Zen or any other sect (too lazy ) but I would like to hear your thoughts on a devotional practice. As far as I am aware many here are Zen or Non Affiliated Buddhists