Fake Dharma News

lobster

While mankind remains mere baggage in the world
It will be swept along, as in a boat, asleep.
What can they see in sleep?
What real merit or punishment can there be?
Bodhi Sanai
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanai

As the world reels and deals, we of a Buddhist inclination have smaller fry to fry ... in other words ourselves from raw recruit to cooked chef ...

To aid this digestion [burp] I have been looking for fake but useful news from the Mahayana upstarts, heretics and others from wherever I can find them:

And so, my fellow Buddhists: ask not what dharma can do for you—ask what you can do for dharma.”
pseudo-JFK (former boyfriend of Marilyn Monroe)

A voice whispered to me last night: 'There is no such thing as a voice whispering in the night!'
Sanai

What is your fake but helpful news?

DairyLama

http://www.theonion.com/article/buddhist-extremist-cell-vows-to-unleash-tranquilit-34623

Kerome

To aid in the development of tummo ...

It was a cold winter day, and a heavily dressed man noticed Nasrudin outside wearing very little clothing.
"Mulla," the man said, "how is it that I am wearing all these clothes and still feel a little cold, while you are barely wearing anything, and seem unaffected by the weather?"
"Well," replied Nasrudin, "I don't have any more clothes, so I can't afford to feel cold. But you have plenty of clothes, and thus have the liberty to feel cold."