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Sex without attachment?

nakazcidnakazcid Somewhere in Dixie, y'all Veteran

Not in the sense of a one-night stand, but from the standpoint of Buddhist non-attachment. I would interpret this as being able to enjoy sex, but not craving it and seeking after it. Is this even possible? Or would a practitioner who achieves this just automatically become celibate?

Comments

  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran
    edited January 11

    @nakazcid said:
    Not in the sense of a one-night stand, but from the standpoint of Buddhist non-attachment. I would interpret this as being able to enjoy sex, but not craving it and seeking after it. Is this even possible? Or would a practitioner who achieves this just automatically become celibate?

    Some who identify as "Asexuals" fit this description

    "Some asexuals may be “repulsed” by sex, meaning they are personally averse to the idea of having sex themselves. Some are “indifferent”, meaning they do not mind having sex, despite experiencing no sexual attraction. The same variation exists in the non-asexual population: some sexual people are quite happy to have sex with someone they are not sexually attracted to, but for others this idea is unthinkable."

    Also @nakazcid non-attachment does not mean non enjoyment (sexual or other wise)...It just means not clinging to the experience which like all things is fleeting and will pass....

    Bunkskarasti
  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Yes, it's possible. Momentary and fleeting enjoyment, gratitude for the experience, then back to the fetching water, chopping wood.

    Bunkskarasti
  • paulysopaulyso usa Veteran

    wanted to share what poped in my head about co-relationship or co-love.i dont want to be above you,i dont want to be below you,i want to be with you.

    sometimes i envy those in a relation.but the buddhist mindset,happy for others who has a companion,is good.

    ShoshinBunks
  • CarameltailCarameltail UK Explorer
    edited January 11

    https://tinyurl.com/yd62n5f7
    You may find this link interesting. Not Buddhism technically but related even if controversial.
    I'd think though it is possible. Whether it happens a lot in reality is different though.

  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Veteran

    It's definitely possible. One can even be in relationships and have children and respond with immense love and compassion without clinging. Not sayin' it's easy! But it's possible. It'll vary a lot by the person, too. Some people crave sex to a degree it's problematic for them. Others don't crave it at all. Most are in the middle somewhere. I am on the lower end, I find ovulation brings cravings but that is about it. We have a lot of affection and intimacy in many ways in our relationship, but sex just isn't a huge part of it. We enjoy and appreciate it when it happens but we've found a lot of enjoyment in other ways now that we're older.

  • SnakeskinSnakeskin Texas, USA Veteran

    @nakazcid said:
    Or would a practitioner who achieves this just automatically become celibate?

    According to MN 73, celibacy isn't automatic even for a person fitting the description of a stream-enterer.

    “Apart from Master Gotama, the monks and nuns, and the male [and female] lay followers clothed in white leading lives of celibacy, is there any male [or female] lay follower, Master Gotama’s disciple, clothed in white enjoying sensual pleasures, who carries out his instruction, responds to his advice, has gone beyond doubt, become free from perplexity, gained intrepidity, and become independent of others in the Teacher’s dispensation?”

    “There are not only one hundred … or five hundred, but far more male [and female] lay followers, my disciples, clothed in white enjoying sensual pleasures, who carry out my instruction….”

    Bunks
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