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I was doing a little meditating before going to bed last night, and I was reminded of a sensation I had had earlier in the day. It was a sensation of a deep sense of responsibility with respect to my upcoming house move. So in meditation I was examining this, and it seemed to lead me to a place on my forehead where there was something dark embedded. I entered a kind of question-and-answer session, which sometimes happens to me, and I asked, where did this deep responsibility come from? The answer was, duty. My question was, duty to what? Duty to be useful.
At this point what arose in me was a kind of cascade. First there was the idea that my ultimate purpose inside myself was to be, to celebrate my Buddha nature. Then there came the thought that this was incompatible with being “useful” internally. This ultimately led to the dark patch in my forehead being dissolved, and something said “he is an eagle! He is finally working correctly”, and there was a sensation of lightness and a kind of release on the left hand side of my head.
I thought I would share this today, it is an example of what one can encounter in meditation in terms of old assumptions which lay buried inside, and that sometimes you need to realise that the social imperatives need to be relegated in favour of inner celebration. Society in many ways tries to enslave you, fit you as a cog into its machinery, but in living the holy life such bonds need to be shed.