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Dear Abby (Any wise owl will do.):
Nirvana
aka BUBBA ` ` South Carolina, USA Veteran
Dear Abby (or whatever other wise owl there be):
I have these problems and I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings.
Two of my sisters often send me forwarded "Chicken Little" -like e-mails. One sends them daily, along with Chain-Letter ones, too, which I absolutely despise. I mean, I'm a big enough pest as it is on my own, without forwarding this sappy, kitschy, quasi-religious junk to those who out of the goodness of their hearts are inclined to tolerate me for a few minutes at a time.
Plus, I don't even wanna know what some people are capable of wasting their time thinking about.
Luckily for me, though, only one of these two sends this stuff out daily. More and more, though, this stuff is chain-letter stuff saying, "Send this out to everyone you know, INCLUDING ME, if you love me." Of course, I don't and can't respond. A couple of times I've bounced some really over-the-line ones, but this has backfired, believe me.
I CANNOT come right out and tell them how I feel about this crap, but I'm wondering:
Could I start sending my own Vedanta/Buddhist and even New Age Stuff out to them. And, if so, as I have only limited time, what are some good sources for thought-provoking or topical ones? I believe that Daily Dharma is copyrighted.
A great friend of mine, an Episcopal Priest, has a skill at turning on Fundamentalist Evangelicals about how their souls will be damned if they don't join the One True Catholic Church Founded by the Lord Jesus and put on the shoulders of St. Peter and entrusted to Him and His Heirs forever... I mean, WHY NOT turn the tables?
ANY IDEAS, THOUGHTS, SUGGESTIONS, CONCERNS, ETC. GRATEFULLY ACCEPTED.
BTW, we're supposed to refuse legal tender now, because it doesn't say, "IN GOD WE TRUST" on it!
Oh, and, REALLY, THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!!!
Thanks, in advance, for any response at all.
Nirvy
I have these problems and I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings.
Two of my sisters often send me forwarded "Chicken Little" -like e-mails. One sends them daily, along with Chain-Letter ones, too, which I absolutely despise. I mean, I'm a big enough pest as it is on my own, without forwarding this sappy, kitschy, quasi-religious junk to those who out of the goodness of their hearts are inclined to tolerate me for a few minutes at a time.
Plus, I don't even wanna know what some people are capable of wasting their time thinking about.
Luckily for me, though, only one of these two sends this stuff out daily. More and more, though, this stuff is chain-letter stuff saying, "Send this out to everyone you know, INCLUDING ME, if you love me." Of course, I don't and can't respond. A couple of times I've bounced some really over-the-line ones, but this has backfired, believe me.
I CANNOT come right out and tell them how I feel about this crap, but I'm wondering:
Could I start sending my own Vedanta/Buddhist and even New Age Stuff out to them. And, if so, as I have only limited time, what are some good sources for thought-provoking or topical ones? I believe that Daily Dharma is copyrighted.
A great friend of mine, an Episcopal Priest, has a skill at turning on Fundamentalist Evangelicals about how their souls will be damned if they don't join the One True Catholic Church Founded by the Lord Jesus and put on the shoulders of St. Peter and entrusted to Him and His Heirs forever... I mean, WHY NOT turn the tables?
ANY IDEAS, THOUGHTS, SUGGESTIONS, CONCERNS, ETC. GRATEFULLY ACCEPTED.
BTW, we're supposed to refuse legal tender now, because it doesn't say, "IN GOD WE TRUST" on it!
Oh, and, REALLY, THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!!!
Thanks, in advance, for any response at all.
Nirvy
0
Comments
I have a couple of friends that indulge in this. And I know that they also don't like the "send this to ten people and something wonderful will happen" stuff.
Sometimes the pictures or the sentiment is great. Sometimes it is "God saved my little girl" and I want to puke. There are Buddhist ones too.
I have no answers because I am a coward and just send them on.
If you feel really strongly you are going to have to say so. Next time you get one of these, send a plain message back saying "I don't need someone else's words to say I love you. You are my family and I love you. There, now you have it in my own words - so stop with the schmaltz huh?"
Just a suggestion
I tell people my spam programme is so effective it just hurls fwded e-mails with more than two recipients in there..... I keep forgetting to look at it, and it empties every 10 days, so sometimes I miss it.
I have to be honest here though..I very often don't pass them on, beause thy make me heave too... I got one the other day..."This is your money angel... pass this on to 10 people and you will get copious mounts of money back...." Yeh right! Only if they also send me their bank details, access codes and passwords at the same time - !!
I'm really sorry.... I don't have time for all this rubbish - As Knitwitch so rightly says: I love you - you know i love you - what's the point of all this, exactly?
I get mad if I am asked to contribute to anything. I make my own charity contributions (mainly my time and energies) and I don't need emails to tell me where to send my cash.
I have a couple of people on my list who have said they don't want to receive these things under any circumstances, unless they are very funny ... so I take the time to pick out exactly WHO is going to get forwarded to and who isn't.
I have two on-line friends who bombard me with the schmaltz ... most of the time I read them and then bin them.
What I found was that a simple email to my loved ones - and to my family - solved it. I asked them to remove me from the list of those to whom they sent/forwarded this junk. A couple carried on, so I sent a reminder, asking as a loving favour. They stopped.
If people won't stop, the only answer is to block them, having told them that you are doing so.
A three-step method which has worked for me and helps keep my blood-pressure down. The interesting thing is that any forwarded email comes because the sender has decided that it is relevant to me as an individual, or screamingly funny. The only 'bulk' emails I now open and read before deletion are from such groups as my reading group or our community car club.
PRICELESS, Knitwitch!
I will have to take some more time, though, to think about how strongly I really feel. In general, I don't mind too much, but as my [rather dysfunctional] family is very dear to me, it's hard not to read what they send. Being a proud member of such a family, I have to tread lightly or risk some unpleasant explosion, the recovery from which might be tedious and long.
However, some things do go over the top and I just don't wanna know what silly and counterproductive causes people are capable of flocking to. If it's political it's a bit more interesting on sociological grounds and it doesn't get me riled up. But the other crap...
So what I have to think about now is how important not having this junk thrust on me really is, no matter who it's from. Also, I wonder if I might just be a little too curious about how empty and whatever-else the lives of some members of my family might be that they preoccupy themselves with all this mental garbage.
Or is it something even more moribund?
Dear Abby, or whatever other wise soul there be, am I not really focussed enough on this issue?
____________________________________________
Thanks, Pilgrim, Federica, and Knitwitch, for your responses. I trust you folks more than I can say.
Just mulling things over a bit for now, still trying to decide what to do or not to do.
You're more than Welcome Nirvana :smilec:
The ones that really get me going are the ones where you MUST pass this on because it's about breast cancer, etc etc. Or the ones that are about credit card fraud, internet scams etc that I just KNOW are false. Or you had to be living in a cave for the last couple of years not to have already heard of it
I'm so glad you brought this up. It's been bothering me for a long time now and I'd like to add my two cents.
There's a larger and more important issue regarding mass forwards that I think should be addressed here. Not only do I despise these mailings for all the reasons stated above but my email address is private to me and I don't want it being sent out to thousands upon thousands of people, including spammers, without my consent. This is not just an issue of irritating mail, it's a security issue. In all those forwarded emails I've received, not one of the senders has ever used the BCC field, which would hide all the email addresses they are forwarding the crap to. So my email address, which I work quite hard to keep private, is being sent out all over the internet by these friends and family members. I've had to reformat my entire system twice in the last five years as a result of other people's poor internet skills and I don't wish to go through the ordeal ever again. When I receive mass emails of this type I delete them. Period.
So you see, I get a little hot around the collar about this issue too. In fact, it irritates me to such a degree that I've found myself completely unable to deal with the situation by asking these people to take me off their mass emailing lists because I can't trust myself to express my wishes in a non-confrontational manner. I'm also afraid to insult anyone. The reason I get so emotional (ie. angry) about these emails is because security threats make me feel...well...threatened.
Simon,
Could you possibly give me some pointers on how to write a message that would not insult the senders of these emails? I love some of these people dearly and would hate to make them feel bad in any way but I'd like to keep my email address private, or as private as possible. Would you give me some suggestions?
One of my teachers, Virginia Satir, gave us a format for any communication of this type.
First of all, we begin by thanking the other person for noticing us:
"Dear ........,
Thank you so much for including me in the distribution list of the emails that you forward."
Then you make sure, in yourself, whether you want or do not want what is being offered, whether it "fits":
"At the moment, I am just too busy to give due attention to what you send me, so I shall be very grateful if you would remove me from your mailing list."
Finish off by thanking them again and assuring them that you ask this out of genuine friendship for them and concern for their concerns.
It works if you are genuine and they are truly friends.
Or, at least, it has worked for me.
In a couple of cases, my request was ignored. There is, therefore, a second step.
As soon as the new 'bulk' forward arrives, I sent a reply along the lines of:
"Thank you for forwarding the email below to me. You may have been too busy to see my own email where I asked to be omitted from your forwarding list.
I am unable to give forwarded emails all the attention that they deserve and I shall be very grateful if you remove my eddress from your distribution."
So far it has worked.