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Overcoming Phobias

KnightofBuddhaKnightofBuddha
edited August 2005 in Buddhism Today
Recently I have overcome my fear of worms. That was something I had struggled with for years. One of my last phobias to get past now and definately the hardest one is my fear of spiders and centipedes. My fear kicks in the worst at night when I try to sleep in my downstairs bedroom. Since it was recently redone, most of the spiders still live somewhere above me ceiling. When I see a spider or centipede scurrying across my floor, I start sweating and my heart beats faster. I have been meditating on this senseless fear for some time now and when I analyzed this fear, I found that I have no reason to be afraid of such harmless critters. But I still slightly panic when I see my little room mates running around. Any good tips on overcoming this fear? It isn't exactly one that I can face due to their small size. Anyone else have their share of fears? Thanks for comments... :)

Comments

  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited July 2005
    I figure that they can't hurt you. Can they?
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited July 2005
    comicallyinsane wrote:
    I figure that they can't hurt you. Can they?


    Perhaps you have never had to deal with a phobia, Comic.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited July 2005
    Not that type of phobia. I guess I am afraid of losing my family. Not really afraid of anything else.
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited July 2005
    comicallyinsane wrote:
    Not that type of phobia. I guess I am afraid of losing my family. Not really afraid of anything else.


    Fear and phobia are two different things, as are attraction and philia. Phobia is 'pathological' and operates below the level of consciousness, whereas your fear of losing your family is both rational and more akin to anxiety.

    Over the years, people have brought many phobias to my consulting room. I have little doubt that I would have seen fewer had I ever said, "Those things can't hurt you". I might just as well tell you, Jason, that vegetables are good for you so that, despite your body's non-conscious physical reaction to them, you must "pull yourself together" and eat them.

    Phobias can be crippling and are notoriously hard both to live with and to treat. They appear to arise from "one-time" learning experiences which set up a Stimulus-Response within the limbic system which is triggered and restimulated by a single sight, sound, smell or taste. Similar reflex arcs are also set up in simple and comples post-traumatic stress disorders.

    A person who is scared of, say, lifts may be able to get in one by accident but a phobic person could not even do that.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited July 2005
    Well I guess I ddn't understand. But I am not afraid of Veggies. I have talked them and we have an understanding. :)
  • emmakemmak Veteran
    edited July 2005
    Knight of Buddha I laughed so hard when I read your post. But I was laughing with you. I am terrified of swimming pools and spas and baths. It is a cluastraphobia thing. Also fear of parachutes, tents, shower curtains, large emty spaces. Bouncy castles. Hot air balloons too. We have a place in perth called Burswood dome. It is a massive indoor arena and the roof is some kind of waterproof canvas held up by air pressure. It is my worst nightmare. If it fell down I would suffocate.
    Jason - you may laugh, but these things make me cry and nearly wet my pants.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited July 2005
    I am not laughing. I am just trying to understand how this can be. I will admit, I don't understand phobias at all.
  • emmakemmak Veteran
    edited July 2005
    I cannot even explain it.
  • FrizzerFrizzer
    edited July 2005
    Hypnotherapy works a treat!
    About 5 years ago I was having random panic attacks but didn't know why. Went to see the hypnotherapist that helped me give up smoking and he explained that the subconscious mind holds onto everything that's ever upset you and once your stress levels reach a certain level you get a panic attack which is just the bodys way of helping work off the stress. Sounds simple but in reality I didn't find the feeling of wanting to run around screaming particularly "helpful"! :eek:
    Anyway, I digress. What he did was to get my subconscious mind to look for all the things that caused me stress and the first thing to pop up was my fear of spiders. We went back and it turned out that it was brought on by a large spider on my pillow when I was a baby. It's strange, I always wondered why I was scared of them and had no recollection of this memory before. Once we found the cause it was an easy matter of removing the irrational fear associated with that memory.
    I still don't like spiders but I don't come out in a sweat when I see one anymore and I can deal with them without resorting to killing them....which is nice ! :)
    Adrian
  • emmakemmak Veteran
    edited July 2005
    I have often considerend hypnotherapy. I used to suffer greatly with anxiety and panic attacks, to the point that some days I would not even leave the house to go to school. In the end I was medicated for it. This helped, but never addressed the problem, which were several ordeals from my childhood. I vowed never to take medication for it again, so now I meditate daily, take some herbals and homeopathic remedies if things get really bad.
    This is a different problem to the phobia thing, but I find the two seem to work together and try to get me to fall in a heap! If one flares up, the other is not far away. So if I am feeling a bit tense and upset, then see a bouncy castle I just lose it LOL!
  • AnitaAnita
    edited July 2005
    I used to be terrified of spiders. I still get a little tense when I see one. I remember one time I was in the shower and I reached for the shampoo and this little black spider jumped out and I swear I nearly had a heart attack. I fell in the shower and started crying. I know it sounds funny, and I actually laugh about it to this day. But I tell ya, I was terrified. I'm not so scared of the small ones anymore..but the bigger ones..like big brown ones..oh gees. I get all sweaty. Not nearly as bad as I used to be. But I can handle myself better now. Hopefully I will completely overcome that fear. They are just another creature in the world. :)
  • FrizzerFrizzer
    edited July 2005
    I'm just glad that the ones we get in England aren't usually too big!
    Mind you, with the mild winters we've been having there have been a few monster ones running around my garage :hair:
  • AdianaAdiana
    edited July 2005
    Anita,

    I am like you---spiders scare the bejabbers out of me. I don't care what size they are. They just give me the creeps! EWWW! :eekblue: :eekblue:

    Adiana :):):lol::lol:
  • JennaJenna
    edited July 2005
    HI there Comicallyinsane, it's me, Jenna. I have had a lot of folks in my practice who suffer from one kind of phobia or another. Sometimes, figuring out where it comes from (such as the spider on the pillow phenomena) can help a person deconstruct it; somehow, by showing it the light of day (read: enlightenment?) its power can shrivel and die on the vine.
    Sometimes, though, that's not possible, or if it is, it just doesn't work.
    Another think that can be helpful is to consider the symbolic nature of that of which you are phobic. What something means to a person is different for every person. For instance, one person might be afraid of small enclosed showers because they associate it with being unable to escape from a small place, whereas another might be afraid of it because of fears of falling and drowning, and so on. Spiders and bugs are very common fodder for phobic responses, but can mean different things. Free writing and use of free association is one way to get at the unconscious meanings.
    Yet another way to manage a phobia is to surround yourself by the thing you're most afraid of, or force yourself to do the thing you're afraid of. For some phobias, the only way through is to feel the fear and do it anyway; that's how you learn the thing you're afraid of can't really hurt you. When it's not possible to actually do this, visualizing yourself surrounded by the thing you're afraid of while you are deeply relaxing can also be just as effective; strong visualization of yourself handling the fearful situation, with as much detail as possible, while relaxed, is very useful too.
    Another helpful thing can be to ask yourself: what is the worst thing that can happen? For example, if a person is phobically afraid of ladybugs, one could ask one's self: what's the worst that can happen if a ladybug gets in the house? Can the ladybug kill me, or do me harm? If the ladybug bites me, will it do me enduring damage, or will it be a nuisance?
    OBviously, actually doing these things and making them work for you is best if you have another brain to guide you and help you through it. Hence the value of a trustworthy therapist, skilled in treating phobias. Believe it or not, treating phobias is one of the easiest things to treat! It's the psychological equivallent of strept throat.
    It may also help you to know that everyone at one time or another develops irrational fears. Sometimes they develop into phobias, and sometimes not. But it's part of the cloth we're cut from. Most common phobia? Fear of public speaking!

    And I agree that hypnotherapy can be an excellent way to help manage a phobia, when done by a certified hypnotherapist.

    I hope this is helpful to anyone who needs it, and if I can be helpful in any other way I am very happy to do so!

    Your pal,
    Jenna :)
  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited August 2005
    Knight, I share your irrational fear of spiders and centipedes, though it's a lot less than it used to be when I was a kid. Then I was absolutely terrified of them, especially big hair spiders, like wolf spiders, or centipedes. The house we lived in when I was young had old fashioned cold air ducts in the floors, and sometimes a centipede would dart out of one and run across the floor. I'd scream like a little girl! Same for yucky spiders. I've gotten over it mainly because I've grown older and such things don't affect us moldy oldies as much, I guess. I've also gotten some understanding that all living beings are the same in their nature. That may not be of much help when one of them is crawling up your leg, but it does kind of take a lot of the steam out of the phobia!

    Just remember, each of those creepy-crawlies was your mother in a former life!

    Palzang
  • MoonLgtMoonLgt
    edited August 2005
    Jenna,
    You are absolutly right I have a genuine fear of spiders, Caused by the scare on my forehead.

    You see I was bitten by a brown reculse spider when I was young and it made me very ill. I did seek a good therapist who helped me alot. He helped me by discovering that not all spiders are poisonous. And to learn the good that they provide. The fact that when a spider or any thing actually attacks is because they are in fear themselves.

    So while I do know alot about the different spicies of spiders now, I am no longer afraid of them. I just stay away from those that can hurt me. Unless it is unavoidable. Then I am sorry to say. But I do smash them. It is a matter of survival then.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited August 2005
    Palzang wrote:
    Knight, I share your irrational fear of spiders and centipedes, though it's a lot less than it used to be when I was a kid. Then I was absolutely terrified of them, especially big hair spiders, like wolf spiders, or centipedes. The house we lived in when I was young had old fashioned cold air ducts in the floors, and sometimes a centipede would dart out of one and run across the floor. I'd scream like a little girl! Same for yucky spiders. I've gotten over it mainly because I've grown older and such things don't affect us moldy oldies as much, I guess. I've also gotten some understanding that all living beings are the same in their nature. That may not be of much help when one of them is crawling up your leg, but it does kind of take a lot of the steam out of the phobia!

    Just remember, each of those creepy-crawlies was your mother in a former life!

    Palzang



    That little girl remark made me laugh out loud. LOL
  • KnightofBuddhaKnightofBuddha
    edited August 2005
    Yeah, me the big old burly weight lifter...who writes poetry and runs through walls when he sees mice and spiders. Anyway, friends get a laugh out of it.
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