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My experience tonight with violence

comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
edited August 2005 in Sanghas
Well I am bussing tables tonight at work and I see this guy that comes in who is a cousin of a former employee. He hangs out with this guy who fights down at the casino. Well the fighting guy and I talke din th epast and he seemed like a nice enough guy. Well tonight he was drunk and started challenging me left and right. His friend kept telling him to sit down and stop it but he kept it going. I kept trying to change the subject keeping it on a happy note. I knew what he was doing. Then he was meesing around and swung a punch a little too close to me. I put a hand up to block and I wasn't sure if he was really attacking me. I just told him I had to get back to work and I walked away. He kept wanting me to come over but I went into the back. I am glad they left right after.



Well I started thinking about it and of course it started to stick in my craw. A year ago I would have beaten him to the hospital. I am a fighter and even though I am on this path towards peace I am still having trouble. I have decided I will be a bit more aggressive if this happens again. I will ask him why he wants to keep this up. I mean he was insulting me and my Kung Fu. My honor has to mean something. He was trying to be a bit of a bully.

Comments

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited August 2005
    The big thing about being drunk, is that folks think it makes them bigger and more in control. The people I've heard saying that drink makes them more aware, more careful driving, more sassy more.....b*******t. I know from having worked in a pub and bar that drink is depleting, and robs you of dignity.
    For my two cents, you did the right thing. less aggression is best, because more aggression means less self-control. ("Losing it", I think it's called....)
    Stand your ground, and don't confuse assertiveness for aggression. You have power and strength at your fingertips, with your Martial Art. Be true to the dictum that an ounce of self-control is enough resistance and equals a ton of aggression.
  • edited August 2005
    As he was drunk and hence presented no real challenge to your style - there was no dishonour and no real disrespect.

    A real martial artist can assess true confrontation for what it really is - in this respect you behaved honourably. Indeed a part of training is to know that you are not threatened by the behaviour of fools.

    Peacefulness is invincible in it's unmovable postion. Even if he chased you into the parking lot and stabbed you in the back - who really 'won'?
  • edited August 2005
    Comic,
    You did up hold your honor and that of your Kung-fu well. My understanding of the martal arts is that one does not use it to retaliate (Sp) Only to protect oneself.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited August 2005
    MoonLgt wrote:
    Comic,
    You did up hold your honor and that of your Kung-fu well. My understanding of the martal arts is that one does not use it to retaliate (Sp) Only to protect oneself.



    Actually that is a misconception. It is really for destroying your enemies. The insurance companies made it so teachers here had to say that. I would even say the Shaolin Monks are like that but they won't fight at all unless to save someone else or to defend the temple, but never to defend themselves.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited August 2005
    Even if he chased you into the parking lot and stabbed you in the back - who really 'won'?



    Not my back ,that's for sure. LOL



    Thanks BSF
  • edited August 2005
    Comic,
    Humm, I didn't know that, I will have to ask my cousin, He teaches martial arts. As for me I teach Tai Chi. Which can be used for self defense, Although that is not it's true purpose.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited August 2005
    Tai Chi in it's fighting form is done very fast. I used to train with a Tai Chi fighter. Talk about deception. You look at the guy and you think he is just some little guy who doesn't know anything but he was so fast and deadly.
  • edited August 2005
    Comic,

    I think you did the right thing. I have to admit that mouthy people tend to get on my last nerve. :grr: Especially mouthy drunk people because I used to be one of them! LOL! Ever since getting sober, I find mouthy drunks really irritate me more so than usual. You showed real self-discipline in my opinion. I don't know if I would have been able to keep my cool.

    Adiana :wavey:
  • edited August 2005
    Comic,
    That is true, Tai Chi can be both deceptive and deadly. As well as relaxing and calming. I teach it as both a form of reflection and defense.
  • edited August 2005
    At least you will stand up for yourself when you have to whether using agression or not. Sadly, I was not as tough to ever have done so and when given the chance, I only ran. But I long for the day when another punk tries to mess with me again violently. Especially if he is unfortunate enough to mess with me when I have my Samurai sword with me.

    Sorry, I'll stop being such a war monger. But I feel like such a vigilante when I get all riled up about this kind of stuff.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited August 2005
    We all back down some time in our life. One day you will wake up and not be afraid anymore.
  • edited August 2005
    Comicallyinsane,
    The highest attainment of the samurai is defeat of the opponent by the technique of "No Sword".
    A Samurai of great skill, could without doubt, cut down their opponent swiftly and definitively.
    A Samurai of highest achievement could defeat their opponent without even drawing their sword,
    by out-witting them.
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited August 2005
    It's all in Sun Tzu!

    http://www.kimsoft.com/polwar.htm
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited August 2005
    Jackie wrote:
    Comicallyinsane,
    The highest attainment of the samurai is defeat of the opponent by the technique of "No Sword".
    A Samurai of great skill, could without doubt, cut down their opponent swiftly and definitively.
    A Samurai of highest achievement could defeat their opponent without even drawing their sword,
    by out-witting them.


    Well that is good for the samurai but I am a Kung Fu fighter.
  • edited August 2005
    Those Shaolin guys can pack a pucnh so I've heard!
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited August 2005
    Yes they can. I have been trained by a Shoalin Grandmaster. Our school was more of a sub school. We were Shoalin but not monks. We didn't have to follow the a lot of the rules they did.
  • angulimalaangulimala Veteran
    edited August 2005
    hi comic,
    glad you make the right decision not to fight him, but i'm a little sorry you didnt use the opportunity to use your drunken fist style on him. have you ever heard about buddha's palm style?well,if you have another chance to use your gong fu, do not hesitate to use it, let 'em know that drunken fist can make them drunk too. this is an opinion of me as a martial arts lover not as a buddhist.:))
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited August 2005
    LOL Yeah I think I have heard something about that palm style.
  • ZenLunaticZenLunatic Veteran
    edited August 2005
    I think at the heart of this matter is an attachment problem. You seemed to be attached to the label of 'fighter' and the connotations that come with it. If there is no "I", there is no one to be a 'fighter'

    One of the hardest things I've found to do is let go of things, especially situations that you can replay in your mind and think of different outcomes. This, too, is an attachment, and shouldn't be dwelt upon. The more one thinks on these situations, the more that is read into them, and hardly ever is it positive (well, except this one time when I worked in a microbiology lab in the navy, this hot medical student and I were talking in my lab and she had asked my what time I got off, and I just told her 11 and left it at that. Now I hit myself in the head 'cause I read into it that she wanted me to ask her out!).

    Release your anger, as yoda would say, and just say to yourself that that guy has problems and leave it at that.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited August 2005
    I see what you are saying. Not having labels is something I am trying to undestand. I am not anywhere near stripping them away.
  • ZenLunaticZenLunatic Veteran
    edited August 2005
    That's why they call it Buddhist 'practice'... if we were good at it, we wouldn't need to practice any more :)

    You can also think of it this way... how would you want you children to react in the same situation? My 4 year old is kind of going though this with a bully at his day care, and I so much want to tell him to just pound him into the ground, but instead tell him the best thing to do is just walk away. That really is the hardest thing to do...at 4 or 34!
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited August 2005
    I had a talk with my daughter last night. I told her the only time she has to fight is when she is in harm's way. I told her if someone says something to her it's no big deal.
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