suddenly afraid

andariza

been doing meditation. around 1 month, solo. so im newbie.
technique: breath awareness.

case:started more relaxed than usual,(that week meditating every day) time passed and started feeling really good and calm.
breathing seems something so simple. the air was feeling "like with texture", my head feel kinda dizzy (in a good way)..then i remembered what books say: i just have to observe, no being attached to sensorial joy... i refocuzed. i keept breathing..but then i started feeling even better, i had a very intense idea: i dont have to control anything..keept observing breath but somehow observing just breath seem wrong or insufficient, so i observed the whole experience,no controling seem so liberating (first time in my life i feel like that)...then suddenly while i was on a mix: my mind was really "sharp" and focused, but kinda waved by all this good feelings, i started feeling really afraid, like with no control, even wanting to cry...i keep in that state like 15 minutes then i lose concentration.

my questions:

a.-why so afraid?? , being afraid wasnt mention on any of the texts iv read about meditation (really not so many).

b.- any technique to dont lose concentration while u have strong physic/sensorial sensations?, cuz in that sesion they seem so overwhelming

c.- i have to abandon focus on the breath in one point? if yes,when?

Thanks!

Jeffrey

Well I am over my head but I will reply just to make conversation

a.-why so afraid?? , being afraid wasnt mention on any of the texts iv read about meditation (really not so many).

I think the fear was ideation. What is happening? What next? You were trying to use the fear to get ground under you?

b.- any technique to dont lose concentration while u have strong physic/sensorial sensations?, cuz in that sesion they seem so overwhelming

c.- i have to abandon focus on the breath in one point? if yes,when?

I don't think you should abandon the breath. I think you should use the breath and sense of letting go on the outbreath. It will help you to let the physical sensations go or be. What do you think?

lightwithin

I'm not sure what made you afraid, but in MY case, sometimes it seems that whenever I get rid of all the mental static and fuzziness while I'm meditating, I end up seeing reality and the moment in such a clear and total way, without any of my thinking patterns or defense mechanisms at work, that I end up feeling very, very vulnerable and the sheer clarity of reality in my eyes becomes overwhelming. I can't stay in this state for too long either and I end up slipping into a less awake feeling, where I seem to feel safer.

FoibleFull

If you start to feel afraid, try chanting refuge and focusing on that as you would the breath. Visualize the buddha while doing this. works for me.

DhammaDhatu

dear andariza

fear arose in your mind. it came from within your mind. it was not a product of your conscious/volitional thoughts & actions

when the mind becomes peaceful in meditation, joy automatically arises (rather than arising from volition)

this is same as how sugar automatically tastes pleasantly sweet (rather than from volition)

it arises from the nervous system

the kind of fear you experienced is the same

when the mind becomes really peaceful in meditation & control is abandoned, the habituated 'self' starts to lose its foundation, which causes fear to arise, automatically, without volition

the first time i meditated using a method of abandoning all control, my mind suddenly fell into my body & awareness of breath became very lucid

at that same time, fear arose...but i just continued to practise abandoning control, not letting the fear affect my letting go

you did well staying with the fear & tears for 15 minutes

this is merely some mental purification

please continue your meditation (or otherwise start practising with a group)

fear is one of the five hindrances to meditation the Buddha mentioned

kind regards

I stayed in the sort of places that are awe-inspiring and make your hair stand on end. :hair:

Then the thought occurred to me: 'Why do I just keep waiting for fear? What if I were to subdue fear & terror in whatever state they come?'

So when fear & terror came while I was walking back & forth, I would not stand or sit or lie down. I would keep walking back & forth until I had subdued that fear & terror.

When fear & terror came while I was standing, I would not walk or sit or lie down. I would keep standing until I had subdued that fear & terror.

When fear & terror came while I was sitting, I would not lie down or stand up or walk. I would keep sitting until I had subdued that fear & terror.

When fear & terror came while I was lying down, I would not sit up or stand or walk. I would keep lying down until I had subdued that fear & terror.

Bhaya-bherava Sutta: Fear & Terror

Drop

Dhamma Dhatu wrote: »

dwhen the mind becomes really peaceful in meditation & control is abandoned, the habituated 'self' starts to lose its foundation, which causes fear to arise, automatically, without volition

That's the one. There is an instinctive initial fear of Heaven, "How will I cope? How can I control it? I can't just forget all of my problems!..."

Unfortunately the only remedies I know about involve someone else being around and participating with you. You must lovingly surrender yourself into the care of Tathagata and Dharma - want for nothing but to be loving perfection at any cost.

Kikujiro

andariza wrote: »

i had a very intense idea: i dont have to control anything.

andariza wrote: »

...then suddenly while i was on a mix: my mind was really "sharp" and focused, but kinda waved by all this good feelings, i started feeling really afraid, like with no control, even wanting to cry...

I dunno by it seems to me that you discovered part of what you didnt have to have control over.

Kikujiro

Drop wrote: »

That's the one. There is an instinctive initial fear of Heaven, "How will I cope? How can I control it? I can't just forget all of my problems!..."

This is a big thing for me.

Drop

Kikujiro wrote: »

This is a big thing for me.

Despite the political incorrectness of reality, there is still a difference between a male mind and a female mind. Thus to abate the fear response from initial exposure to that "loss of control moment";

Male;
)Mind: "Until I can no longer rationally question something myself, the only thing I know is that I really don't know at all."

)Heart: "Until I can see clearly with understanding, I refuse to care about anything whatsoever regardless of what anyone thinks that I am "supposed to do" or the consequences it brings to me.

Female;
)Mind: "I cannot love who I am until I am pure love itself."

)Heart: "Tathagata, I will deeply love where ever you take me."

GuyC

DON'T BE AFRAID OF HAPPINESS AND PLEASURE IN YOUR MEDITATION!

THIS IS WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!

Sorry for using all caps, but this is an important point. A lot of meditators are told "Don't indulge in happiness...you'll get attached! be afraid! be very afraid!" - WHAT A LOAD OF NONSENSE! You can't get attached to this kind of happiness because it is the happiness which comes from an attitude of "letting go" - therefore by its nature it is impossible to be attached to it.

You are SUPPOSED TO be happy! Nibbana is Ultimate Happiness! The Buddha praised the happiness born of meditation! You are doing something right! Well done! Keep it up!

andariza

thanks for answers!.

Drop

Life, meditation, and love are similar in that if you are not smiling, you are doing it wrong.

kaya

Interesting thread. Thanks for your words EVEN IN CAPS, GuyC!

jgarsman

Fear is the way the ego keeps you attached to it. It is part of Mara's ploy. The ego will deceive you into believing you need it over and over again. It's goal is survival at all costs. I went through fear and still do, I think it's part of the process. To me this meant I was on the right track as it shows the ego is really desperate to keep control.

I have overcome the fear through meditation by trying to experience it as fully as possible and accepting it completely. This is no easy task but it can be done. It is even more scary to try and do it as the fear can be almost unbearable. But then it dissipates because it has nothing to feed off of if you are accepting it. It can't be fear if it isn't feared.

jgarsman

Also, I have cried a few times during meditations. It was quite incredible. I regarded it as progress, not something to be concerned about but something hopeful. Crying is only bad because we've told ourselves it is. Fear is the same. Bad and good are useless. It is what it is.

Theswingisyellow

I have cried, I have had the fear-like suddenly I was utterly alone looking into a void and I have felt such intense joy that description really does not do it justice. I especially agree with Guy C's post regarding joy/happiness that one finds. I started feeling this wonderful mental joy tonight, I mentally told myself "calm" (not to fight it) and just let it be. I swore my head was going side to side like Stevie Wonder but its also hard to pick up/remember body sensations especially in this kind of mental state. Keep on doing what you are doing.:thumbsup:
Yours in the Dharma,
Todd

KarikAsuma

Hi, there. Andariza, what you described was a typical feeling that happens during meditation. It is just one of many things that can happen during meditation. Just observe the fear. If you get attached to it, or think that it signifies some deep meaning, then you will get lost.

It is just one other thing to observe.

Some people have fear, some don't. It's all right.