I have profound respect for the wisdom of the Buddha.
I am struggling with the concept of ambition in buddhism.
I live a very simple life, almost monastic. This works very well for me. It does not work well for my family. My parents support me (feed me and allow me to live with them), but don't understand why I am not out there pursuing the same empty dreams that they did. My siblings pity me for what I am missing (all of the things that they are doing that never bring them happiness). I don't allow their positions to bother me...I have a tremendous peace in spite of their clamoring.
My problem is that I have two small children. I spend what time I can with them, and I believe we have a wonderful relationship. However, I am required by law to provide financial support for them.
The children are very well cared for in every way. Their mother is compassionate and financially independent, and I support them all in every way except financially, which they don't need anyway. She regrets putting me in the position of owing her so much money (it grows by $1000 each month). But neither of us can do anything to change the amount or the law. If I don't find a way to pay, I will be put in jail.
I would prefer not to go to jail, not because I am particularly attached to my freedom, but because I will not be able to spend time with the boys.
I have been unemployed for three years. Searching for a job is the only source of turmoil in my life. I work on my parents farm, so my problem isn't laziness. It is that I value my solitude and the peace that I have achieved.
I am posting here to see if anyone has thoughts on a buddhist way to approach a job search and maintain peace.
Thank you all for your wisdom.