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Some comments appreciated

edited October 2010 in Meditation
I am writing here some of the experiences I had in my life to see if anyone can tell what happened to me through their experiences and knowledge.

I have never practiced meditation in my life.
I was a bright person in studies all the way in my life, and during my studies for PhD (in Engineering), I started going into a mental situation, where I tend to feel that everything in this world are connected and bound together, the trees are conscioius, and even the non-live objects are not what they were thought to be. I also tend to feel that everything happenning around us are related.
When I talked about my feelings to a friend, they took me to the university doctor who was a psychatist, and initially he couldn't diagnose for sure what it was, and later they treated me for pibolar disorder, and given antideppressent drugs.
When I take antidepressent drugs, I go back to normal state of mind.

The reason, why I am asking this in this forum is that the thoughts that I had were in agreement with some Buddhist teachings (I believe).

Comments

  • ShiftPlusOneShiftPlusOne Veteran
    edited October 2010
    I think TheJourney has similar views, I am not sure. I think he mentioned taking medication of some kind as well... so perhaps it is a higher level of awareness.. or perhaps it's a disorder... who knows? I'd recommend you go through a couple more doctors and get more opinions. I am personally against drugs, so I'd make sure it's the right choice... discuss it with them... not to the point you get locked in an insane asylum though =)

    Good luck, I think helpful comments will come underneath.
  • edited October 2010
    Anonymous wrote: »
    I am writing here some of the experiences I had in my life to see if anyone can tell what happened to me through their experiences and knowledge.

    I have never practiced meditation in my life.
    I was a bright person in studies all the way in my life, and during my studies for PhD (in Engineering), I started going into a mental situation, where I tend to feel that everything in this world are connected and bound together, the trees are conscioius, and even the non-live objects are not what they were thought to be. I also tend to feel that everything happenning around us are related.
    When I talked about my feelings to a friend, they took me to the university doctor who was a psychatist, and initially he couldn't diagnose for sure what it was, and later they treated me for pibolar disorder, and given antideppressent drugs.
    When I take antidepressent drugs, I go back to normal state of mind.

    The reason, why I am asking this in this forum is that the thoughts that I had were in agreement with some Buddhist teachings (I believe).
    I agree with Shift. All medication has side effects, some of them nasty, so I tend to avoid it. Most psychiatrists don't do much but prescribe medication. I'd suggest that you find a good therapist or counselor.
  • newtechnewtech Veteran
    edited October 2010
    That thought probably has been in everyones mind, "healthy" or "not healthy".
    The important thing its how are you taking that thought...how personal are you seeing that subject.
  • ShiftPlusOneShiftPlusOne Veteran
    edited October 2010
    For a while I was convinced were were a part of a bigger structure. This was in year 11 when studying basic physics and chemistry. The structure of atoms reminded me of the structure of solar systems.. Earth seemed to me like a giant generator (since it's a spinning magnet... wrong axes though).. then I though what if galaxies serve a higher purpose... like cells or something...

    So yeah... that chain of thoughts led me to wonder if maybe we're an advanced form of bacteria on something too big for us to see.

    Like this...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GDC3u8k02c

    'course learning more about chemistry and physics and doing advanced physics at uni threw that line of thinking completely out the window.
  • edited October 2010
    Thanks for all your comments.

    Further to what I said earlier, I felt that time and space are only illusions.
    I didnt want to say this before as it sounds ridiculous.
    There are only minds (conciousness) in this world. There is nothing physical.

    When I am in that state of mind, it is obvious to me, but I dont know how to explain it. However when I take medicine and come back to normal state of mind, I have second thoughts as to whether I was correct.
    So its like having two people in me.
    Since I have not done any meditation in my whole life, I tend to believe this was an illness rather than a higher level of awareness.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited October 2010
    attachment to ideas is the problem....

    Trees are what you see, feel, hear, smell, taste, and think about. But the additional thinking I feel you got attached to in thinking trees are sentient.

    I feel that you do have a defect in your brain that interferes with your thinking. Bipolar or schizoaffective probably.
  • ShiftPlusOneShiftPlusOne Veteran
    edited October 2010
    Anon, I am not going to lie, I do think those are classic signs schizophrenia or bipolar disorder of some sort. Since you do react to medicine, it must have something to do with neurotransmitter receptors. However, self-diagnosis is rarely accurate.

    You're not wrong, we made up the concept of time to keep track of the changing nature of everything. 'course it's an illusion (a very helpful one). It's hard for me to see how space is an illusion though.

    I find it fascinating that some people who take LSD and other drugs which mess with receptors for some interesting views... which match and have some truth to them. Some drugs cause a complete detachment from the concept of reality (especially SSRIs, ironically enough).

    How do these slightly altered brain functions alter perception so much? Who's to say it's wrong?

    I don't know... I have a fascination with things that alter receptor activity. I don't know what to make of it.

    It's a very sensitive/dangerous topic to discuss with non-professionals.

    You should keep this discussion between you and the doctors who are trained and know their stuff. This is beyond Buddhism. I'd be concerned if the doctor was too eager to prescribe something instantly, in high or ever-increasing doses or as a cocktail of drugs. Make sure you talk about what's prescribed.

    Good luck with everything.
  • ShiftPlusOneShiftPlusOne Veteran
    edited October 2010
    Dammit Jeffery, stop posting my thoughts half an hour before I do!
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