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Lost my job, might be losing my apartment, filled with worry.

How do I learn to be okay with these things that life inevitably throws at us? How can I stay mindful in the midst of nothing but worry about the future? I am having thoughts like, "It's all crashing down, how will I be able to survive?"

I've tried to not let worry invade every thought I have, but then I feel that it only turns to a dispassionate or cynical view towards life and its problems.

In the midst of instability, where do I find courage to continue?


NOTE: I have no intention of using this forum as a self-help outlet. I am just wondering how a Buddhist would confront such things and what their attitude might be.

Comments

  • edited October 2010
    First of all, you have to be practical. Are there any family or friends you can stay with if you do lose your apartment? Have you started looking for new jobs?
  • edited October 2010
    Yes, I have spoken with family members and have already applied for new jobs. I have done all I can on my part, as far as dealing with things in a realistic manner. But I feel that since nothing is certain, I NEED to worry; like it's hard-coded in my nature to worry about these things. I want to learn how to overcome it. I want to experience these situations without constant dread or worry; I just want to experience them without any extra thought-baggage.
  • B5CB5C
    edited October 2010
    This happen to me this year. I was terminated from my job of 2.5 years. My wife and I were moving into a bigger apartment because I just got a nice pay raise and signed a one year lease. Them BAM! During the move I was told I was fired. I was devastated! I was never this scared all my life.

    Things were good untill Rent-A-Center hired a 3rd party company who's job to have lawyers and deny unemployment benefits. Rent-A-Center denied my unemployment and won. Now I am order to pay back 1,700 in unemployment benefits. Because of this we are forced to break the lease.

    We are thankful we have family who are near by to let us stay until we can get on our own feet.

    The best way to do is try not to fall into depression. You must focus on trying to find another job in this crappy economy.

    I recently had a new job that only listed a month. My DM and I had some disagreements on some issues, so he found some excuses to fire me. Two weeks before I fired I was reading His Holiness the Dalai Lama's "Becoming Enlightened." The book and his words have a great influence. Most of time of work I had left. I was happy and with very little stress.

    So on the day I got fired I was not angered. I was a bit sad, but I had no anger. I believe my DM fired me for a very stupid reason, but I will not yell, depressed or let my anger take control of me. I go remind my self. That I control my life. Also I have a great family who will support me when i am in trouble. Yes, life will be hard now that I don't have a job again. Yet, I will not emotional suffering control my life.
  • edited October 2010
    I understand the challenges you are experiencing. I hope you improve.

    One way to look at the situation is to think of impermanence. Impermanence implies that everything is subject to change and everything has an ending. This also includes negative situations. Impermanence gives us hope! So, what that means, is the when you supply the right causes and conditions, you will bring about the effects that you want.

    You would need to commence problem solving and write down each of your problems on paper. It is better to write your problems down, that way you can clearly see, what you have to do. Then implement solutions to the problem. This is supplying the right causes and conditions.
  • MountainsMountains Moderator
    edited October 2010
    [QUOTE=intothedreaming;136133]But I feel that since nothing is certain, I NEED to worry; like it's hard-coded in my nature to worry about these things.[/QUOTE]

    Two things that I *know* to be true (and there's very little I know to be true):

    1. *NOTHING* is certain, ever. The only thing that's certain is uncertainty. Another way to say that is, the only thing in the universe that's permanent is impermanence.

    2. Worry is *not* hard-wired in your brain. It may feel like it, but it's not.

    Just knowing that those two things are true has helped me more than almost anything.

    Whatever the situation is, it *will* change, and it *will* pass. Try to just be with the way it is, do what you need to do, and go on. The Dalai Lama has a great saying, "If it's something you can't do anything about, why worry about it? And if it *is* something you can do something about, why worry about it?" So true...
  • edited October 2010
    I remember when I got let go of my job. It wasn't a perfomance issue... I was hospitalized with a mental illness.

    So here I am... jobless and metally ill. Can you imagine?

    What I did was I moved in with my Mom. At the same time I started learning computers and programming and doing writing on the side just to take my mind off my problems.

    The funniest thing happened... with my new skills I was able to open an online software business. I turned my disadvantage into an advantage.

    Maybe you too can think of something to "get your mind off things". You never know... look at this as an opportunity for something new. :)
  • cazcaz Veteran
    edited October 2010
    Take Refuge, Everytime Fears of Samsara arise take Refuge.
    No matter what circumstances fall upon you at the end of this life you will leave with nothing other then the Karma you have created in this life, If you are with a Sangha rely upon them they will help you, When the chinese Invaded tibet many practitoners where tortured in prisions for the longest of times but despite their circumstance they maintained their practise and maintained a happy and Joyfull mind alone.
    If we let circustances Disturb our mind then we will never be happy at anytime train in unmoving concentration from practise and all worries Dissapear.
  • edited October 2010
    I hope your situation gets better soon.

    Since you're already doing what you need to (i.e. contacted family, looking for new jobs), there's no need for worry at this point.

    The only good thing about worry is it can spring a person into action. But since you're already in action, if you continue worrying you'll probably get a cold more than anything else. Worry works great if the stressor is short-term (think of a hungry lion chasing you in the jungle), but awful if the stressor is long-term. It's awful because when we're filled with worry, we can't think as clearly or creatively as when we're calm. Yet, clear and creative thinking is exactly what we need to respond to a problem in the best possible way.

    Best wishes,
    P
  • edited October 2010
    Thank you all for your replies, they have helped immensely.
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