Persistent Thoughts

hairu

Hello,

Thank you for reading this thread. I began meditation a few years ago, but my self-discipline was low and so, recently I decided I would practice sitting for 30 minutes each day.

I have a predisposition to pestering thoughts. Sometimes, I feel like thoughts can come and go from my mind and I do not cling at all. At other times, I feel as though it is hard to step back and observe the stream. Often when some social interaction occured, if someone said something sharply to me, or if there was an awkward moment, thoughts of the person involved will arise and re-arise, however many times I let go. I find that when such a situation arises, the mind will dwell and re-dwell on what has happened, and only with time will the thoughts slowly go. Only to be replaced by the "next" series of pestering thoughts. Usually, this is an annoyance, but there are times when it can become a real effort to focus on the present moment in the face of thoughts coupled with increased heart rate.

I don't really have a question to ask. I believe that through diligent practice anxiety eventually melts into acceptance. However, this takes a very long while. Is there anything I can introduce into my meditation practice to more directly deal with "anxiety"? Those circuitous, pointless thoughts, with their associated bodily sensations, really are inefficient. Of course I will continue the 30 minutes daily practice, and any suggestions others can make I will consider.

Thank you. Sorry to take so much of time.

ShiftPlusOne

Focus on how these thoughts arise. What led to them? Where in your breath cycle were you? How were you feeling? What's the intention behind these thoughts?

hairu

Oftentimes, they arise simply because I've been thinking about them. Or I will feel relaxed and then I will remember how I felt when those thoughts arised and they will arise again. Or, if they are of a perverted nature, bodily sensations may make the arise, or the thoughts themselves may make certain bodily sensations arise, like a cycle. It just seems to me like so much unnecessary preoccupation, and sooner or later that thudding heart comes back. There are times when my chest is fine, and thoughts flow in and out loosely and freely. Then at other times, they do not. I don't know... one day I will be able to fully accept anxiety, I think I must dedicate myself even more to my daily practice.

ShiftPlusOne

hairu, I find that tracing the cycle related to thoughts helps. I had thoughts pop up all the time, I tried tracing their origination and it formed a nice cycle. I then tried reducing the frequency of each step along the cycle and with that, the cycle was completed less often. Therefore, the thoughts popped up less often.

Surely meditation will help you still your mind and be mindful. However this particular thing is more related the other parts of the 8FP. There's something, or several things, you're doing that's a step within the cycle. If you find out which actions lead to those thoughts and then work on stopping those actions, the thoughts should go away as well. If you can't trace the actions, then they are sure to be covered by the 8FP anyway. In that case, find which aspect of the 8FP or the precepts you're neglecting, and it will probably have something to do with that.

Just a theory, by the way.

ShiftPlusOne

MN 20:
When unskilful throughts arise
* Focus on skilful thoughts
* Reflect on the dangers
* Do not attend to them < which would probably help stop the cycle as well
* Look at the formation and intention < what my answer was based on
* Crush with the mind

hairu

To be honest, the most difficult aspect of the thoughts is that whichever pestering thought is in mind at present becomes the "be-all-and-end-all" thing to be worried over. And it remains that way until the next thought comes, and that becomes the new "be-all-end-all", in the sense that it can cause anxiety in the heart. It is hard for me to notice how the thoughts arise - sometimes they just seem to when I remember other thoughts. I try not to attend to them but often I end up attending anyway. Hmmm... Usually I'm alright with these things, but today I actually failed my driving test when I really should have passed, and so thoughts of failing and of the examiner keep popping into mind. At the moment these thoughts seem like the "be-all-end-all", but of course I know when the next wave of anxiety-provoking thoughts comes along, it will simply replace these thoughts. I want to break out of this "reactionary" state, of reacting so much to everything. Sometimes doing this feel physically difficult though.

fivebells

hairu wrote: »

At other times, I feel as though it is hard to step back and observe the stream. Often when some social interaction occured, if someone said something sharply to me, or if there was an awkward moment, thoughts of the person involved will arise and re-arise, however many times I let go.

Step back and look at what's making it hard to step back and look. If it's hard to step back and look at that, step back and look at what's making it hard to do that, and so on...

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Truker

Simply observe. Thoughts are like clouds in the sky. They will never stand still. Watch them go by. Sometimes the sky is full of clouds, sometimes just a few, sometimes none. Peace.