Hi there all, as some of you may know I have been classified as Bipolar in 2009. I have had to date 3 manic episodes. (1. May 2009 2. April 2010 3. April 2011) Each time I took myself off the medication. I am writing to you from the clinic where we are working to get the Lithium levels correct in my blood. It has been quite an experience, as my body adjusts to the Lithium. Lots of purging and weird tastes in my mouth, but I am happy to continue this treatment, purely because it hasn't affected my mood - it has only made me less anxious.
The purpose of this discussion is really to make you aware of the dangers that the teacher - student relationship faces in the modern day world. I made my psyciatrist aware of the fact that I have a teacher and that I belong to a lineage - and that I do certain practices. I have however also told her that I do not even have the telephone number of my teacher and I haven't seen him in his physical manifestation since 2009. We contact occassionally on email. What I didn't tell her is that the student and teacher are connected in samadhi.
She went on to say that I should be careful because it sounds to her like an occult. I didn't know the meaning of the word - and googled it on my blackberry as we were talking - and it really comes down to "secret". Again, something I didn't tell her is that alot of the teachings are secret, especially those in the Vajrayana tradition. Something that I did tell her and that I will tell everyone here is that my teacher has never told me or asked me to do anything. In the times that I have seen him - I have only received the profound instruction of the Dharma.
After some discussion - I think I settled her doubts - but I never divulged any information about my lineage or about the secrecy that is the relationship between student and teacher in our tradition. I will also say - that for the first time in my life I feel undistracted - and I know that I am a naughty person - naughty in the sense that I like to have people question and doubt themselves from time to time - because from personal experience, it is in these moments that we are capable of great accomplishments on our spiritual path.
It is only a foolish man who thinks he knows everything. A wise man is the one who admits to himself that he knows nothing. **eamiuomz