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Life lessons
lobster
Veteran
Just starting on the spiritual path or never been off it? Strangely enough when our life experiences are processed or assessed in the right way, we begin to make sense of 'life, the universe and everything'.
My biggest lesson to date is not, 'how does I gets it?' but 'what can I offer?' Gosh I could almost be a Bodhisattva . . .
What is life teaching you?
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Comments
That if I'm self centred, I end up miserable, but if I'm willing to put some effort in and move more towards being 'other centred', I end up happier.
Also that life isn't easy, but I can make it even harder if I get on like an idiot.
Life is teaching me that I don't need more than I have, and that being calm is the most pleasant way to live.
Why I bother doing productive and sensible activities, like education, then? Because I cling to the idea, that to be able to find the supreme calm in this life, I have to create a stable, economic base, so I can dedicate my life to letting go of worries and aggressions.
Basically life has taught me to seek peace.
No, not even close.
Golf.
That it is well and truly isn't all about me and my desires.
My cats, on the other hand, continue to insist that it IS all about them.
Life teaches me to get real and not to rely on people and external things, but on myself.
Things around have come and go as well as changing incessantly. With the help of dhamma teaching, I experience life as a visitor, with little clinging as possible. Well, it will get better after some time. I am not looking forward. I am just good enough as it is right now.
The people I meet everyday are beings with their own action and causes. I just let them be who they are. Then I find it easier to be with them.
I stop chasing after the perfection and fixing things. Life gets less awful to bear and contentment does put me at ease.
Edit
Just wanted to add a quote I find inspiring
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
John Lennon
One of the best lessons I have learnt is that...
"Things are not always as they seem.
Nor are they otherwise;"
Never been off it. I was crawling up library bookshelves when I was nine years old, trying to get to the I Ching book (which I checked out and had no idea what to do with).
It's true . . . not that I'm very good at it, but my greatest personal dilemmas aren't being 'solved' by trying to 'get something' (ie, understanding, grasping, grokking).
My terribly shyness and self-consciousness was mostly obliterated by forgetting about myself and focusing on the people I yearned to impress (or just wanted to 'like' me). I found that liking THEM was the 'answer' to yearning to be 'liked'.
Hmmm. I think, today, I realize I've forgotten this.
Not so much being 'liked' but the essence beneath, which is openness. It's more like openness just IS, it's already there, not something to do or 'be'. I'm at a fork in the road in my life (so glad I finally caught onto it lol) and I've been straining to grok it to absolutely no avail. OF COURSE. Definitely don't mean to be mysterious, it's just not really a problem I need to 'solve' and I just realized that
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Right now life has given me a headache. Time to cut down on sweets.
My quest for cosmic understanding is a book I have picked up and put down many times, always forgetting to insert a bookmark. ~Robert Brault
This week I'm learning that even when I'm making my best effort, I can still get criticized.
@Hamsaka what does "grok" mean? It's a new one on me.
Kia Ora @lobster,
What is life teaching you?
To just go with the flow of the lessons...
Metta Shoshin
It's a slang word taken from a Robert Heinlein book "Stranger in a Strange Land". It's probably more commonly used in my generation or with science fiction fanatics
. It means 'to understand' but in a completely comprehensive way that goes beyond mere understanding to include empathy and intuition thefreedictionary.com/grokking
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grok I like the wikipedia entry on grokking especially, had to add it in
.
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No good deed goes unpunished.
Never do things in order to please others. Do them because you believe them to be Right Action.
In other words, there may be other people "in the equasion" but they may be a secondary cosideration.
equasion?
I meant equation. it's a french keyboard. The letters are not placed as on a british keyboard. Lesson in concentration.
And 'coNsideration'.
It's from the book Stranger in a Strange Land. Has many meanings "to drink" for example, but it is a mars-people (martian) word for "to grasp, understand, know thoroughly"
@Hamsaka, everyone: Kindly stick to conventional English, thanks.
Is that the Queen's English or American English? Is it "elevator" or "lift"? This is actually a serious question.
Anyway, back to the thread. I have learned that however enlightening this forum is, the only real teacher is our own experience of our own real (not virtual) lives in the present moment. So...I'm going to sign off for a little while and do some learning.
In my little corner of reality, everyone knows what grok, grep, prolly, kewl, ping and other terms mean in any given context.
If theres any question one can always get with the neo-Manjushri and find a reasobable answer.
@Zenguitar it's not about use of any 'proper' English, it's the use of slang English that can send a non-native speaker sideways. Especially a youngster or new-to-Buddhism member who is already working harder than native English speakers to
grokI mean, understand nuance, subtlety, and then work with it.On the other forum I hang out on, I had a great time with a French guy, trying to use as many colloquial English phrases as I could think of so he could get some familiarity with them
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There's no answer to that.....
Your 'little corner of reality' is probably (note the full word, I had no problem typing it) about as different from anyone else's as any little corner of reality could be....!
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^^ Then it might be appropriate to post something in the TOC, to circumvent new folks from coming on board and start using terms and other language not permitted. In fact, the whole idea of what constitutes conventional English is so vague and relative as to be meaningless without some sort of guide so everyone's on the same page, otherwise you'll be playing Language Cop till Maitreya comes.
And I thought patronizing members was one of those off-lmits sorts of things.
Most of my "Life Lessons" had nothing to do with any spiritual path ....
-Everything I ever needed to know, I learned in Kindergarten.
-You're not off 'till you cough.
-Never forget your wife's birthday.
-Never mention the year she was born.
-Never forget your wedding Anniversary
-You've been married a long time when both you and your spouse forget what day your anniversary falls on.
-You're old when the music kids like drives you crazy.
-Flowers solve most problems
-Make-up sex is always best.
-Put your foot down early regarding the toilet seat.
-Never waver on your right to leave the toilet seat up.
-Scotch is always, best served neat.
-Follow your bliss.
-Don't talk about Fight Club.
-Rule 5
There's no need for a rule, it's just polite to consider whether or not your speech will be understandable to a non-native speaker. Heck I want to be understood, having (too) much to say. It's simple empathy in action.
Thanks guys,
Quite subtle. No becoming . . . no leaving . . .
This openness is emptiness through our tendency to form. If we grasp it, the grasping closes it . . .
Is that a new cover Mr Cushion?
http://www.taoism.net/ttc/complete.htm
and now back to life and death differences . . .
There is no such thing as a friend. Friendly foes, yes. But friends, no. You are alone in this world.
That's what I've learned.
I'll behave.
I need to sit more. I will add more to it, perhaps write an article on it.
Can life teach anyone anything except what it's meaning is?
Since retiring my life has revolved around helping people and I've found it incredibly heart warming. I also like to make people laugh, it really is good medicine.
As for sex, it's never really bothered me, I can take it or give it
Che, I know what you mean. For the past 4 years in retirement, I have befriended an elderly neighbor...or perhaps I should say she befriended me. But at any rate, in just the past 3 weeks her health has taken a precarious turn for the worse. I'm not optimistic due to her age, but one never knows. I'm not her only life line, but I am walking her dog twice a day, watering her outdoor flowers, sometimes taking her food, often taking her to doctor appointments, sometimes buying groceries for her, and just spending an hour or so with her twice a day. I don't really think it's why I'm here at this time, but sometimes it almost makes me feel that way.
There are no TOCs, as you already know. It's common courtesy to speak with people who already point out their English isn't good, in a conventional and helpful way.
It isn't helpful to use colloquialisms they may find confusing, and it isn't up to them to decipher what you say, it's up to you to extend the courtesy.
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It was a joke Chaz. You know, you make them all the time, in much the same way. I thought you'd recognise a similar vein of humour.
Let's close this. if you want to continue, do so via PM, or flag the discussion whichever feels better for you.
Thanks.
That ambition is self-defeating
That strength is perfected in my weakness
That I can find strength without ambition.
Sounds good to me. :clap: .
All too often we are so busy chasing life's meaning, we forget we are living a life . . . good, bad, meaningless, empty, happy, fulfilling, kayaking, social mediaing, mindful, dharmic, Buddhist, Christian . . . [lobster goes off into distance posting labels . . . ]
http://www.dharmanet.org/coursesM/36/lifePractice15.htm
Make one.
Courtesy, around here? LOFL ( or is that too unconventional?)
It wasn't funny. In addition you call people on such things all the time. What's good for the goose, as they say. If you're going to hold us to a certain standard, you had better hold to it yourself.
I've done that in the past to no avail. You've publicly dressed down members for what you consider bad behavior, and now, with the table turned ....
Can't win. Stuff gets made up as it goes and multiple standards are applied.
What's next, will you say something about people ending sentences with prepositions, then?
I suggest if you want TOC's you alert @Linc.
Otherwise our discussion is closed.
FWIW, I thought perhaps poor @federica was finally losing it when she suggested only proper English, but quickly came around when she noted she was using some dry humor.
I don't see why we need a drag-out fight about a miscommunication on the Internet.
The forum software comes with this one: http://newbuddhist.com/home/termsofservice
Perhaps you've noticed they're all so vague as to be useless except by someone who wants to leverage it in an argument?
No thanks.
Perhaps this is what you are.
Thanks guys.
As ever we illustrate who we are at core through our expression. However personally I find the convolutions or ego knots are the twisted hindrances of karmic impediments.
Something we leave behind or cling to . . .
In other words we have become what we are. Nothing else available to be?
Not sure I would do this course but the Neti-Neti principle is sound, grounding and allows our shells to be discarded if and when ready . . .
http://www.netinetimeditation.com/what-is-neti-neti-meditation.html
Meditation I would suggest has a similar effect. We find out what arises. We stop identifying with the arisings . . . :wave: .
We really do @Lobster, it is as if samsara were also a room mirrored on walls, ceiling and floor. I've noticed when I am in a seething angry mood, so are a lot of people and vice versa. In this way I have missed what is actually going on on a daily basis
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I honestly didn't mean this to be an insult to Betaboy or anyone who has this idea. It is a statement of suffering that causes others to suffer, especially when they do offer genuine friendship.
Kia Ora,
"What is life teaching me ?"
Something new everyday....which more often than not takes the form of patience...
Metta Shoshin .
..
The important thing is not to know who "I" is or what "I" is. You'll never succeed. There are no words for it.
The important thing is to drop the labels.
As the Japanese Zen masters say, "Don't seek the truth; just drop your opinions." Drop your theories; don't seek the truth. Truth isn't something you search for. If you stop being opinionated, you would know. Something similar happens here. If you drop your labels, you would know. What do I mean by labels? Every label you can conceive of except perhaps that of human being. I am a human being. Fair enough; doesn't say very much. But when you say, "I am successful," that's crazy. Success is not part of the "I".
Success is something that comes and goes; it could be here today and gone tomorrow. That's not "I". When you said, "I was a success," you were in error; you were plunged into darkness. You identified yourself with success. The same thing when you said, "I am a failure, a lawyer, a businessman." You know what's going to happen to you if you identify yourself with these things. You're going to cling to them, you're going to be worried that they may fall apart, and that's where your suffering comes in. That is what I meant earlier when I said to you, "If you're suffering, you're asleep." Do you want a sign that you're asleep? Here it is: You're suffering. Suffering is a sign that you're out of touch with the truth. Suffering is given to you that you might open your eyes to the truth, that you might understand that there's falsehood somewhere, just as physical pain is given to you so you will understand that there is disease or illness somewhere. Suffering points out that there is falsehood somewhere.
Suffering occurs when you clash with reality.
When your illusions clash with reality when your falsehoods clash with the truth, then you have suffering.
Otherwise there is no suffering.
Anthony De Mello
I am unique
I'm sorry to hear that. Sounds like you must be a lonelyboy.
I should have bought shares in Google when the company was very, very young.
Had the chance, you know.
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Aren't we all.....?
Thanks guys,
Unique or at core, in essence, in Buddha Nature the same?
We do cling to the particular karma that has given us a unique arising . . .
What if the jewel of Buddhahood only glistens through a particular facet? The light (think I am going a bit New Agey for a moment) is ever present. The jewel is in the mud . . .
http://onehumanjourney.blogspot.co.uk/2009/07/buddha-nature-jewel-in-mud.html
:wave: .