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How do you live with...
Dhammika
Veteran
How do you live with the worst, most selfish, most unskillful actions you've committed in your life - affairs, broken vows, broken precepts, misbehavior, addiction? I thought I was better than that, but woke up a couple of years ago to find out I was not. Working on skillful thinking, as opposed to the unskillful, clouded mind that led to some lousy behaviors. I guess all we can do is begin again, grounding ourselves in a clear-eyed view of what the teachings require of us.
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Comments
@Dhammika -- No more need be said...
But, if it's any consolation, 1. everyone has regrets and 2. to my way of thinking, the precepts are not something anyone might actually keep; rather, they are reminders in the times when anyone does and will continue to act in opposition to what might be called "our better angels." Get it straight: You WILL break the precepts, which, nevertheless, are excellent pointers.
But you said it all: "begin again."
Best wishes.
I look at where I was, where I am, and where I want to be. Oftentimes, I find that even if I've made a little progress toward where I want to be I am happier than where I was.
Give yourself credit for how far you've come, rather than beating yourself up for how far you have to go. That sort of thinking helps me to progress better than negativity.
On the meditative level, all moments, like the practitioners themselves, are continually beginning again....
but
on the practical level, a practice often may include looking for some skillful means to resolve any of the suffering that your past actions have instigated.
I agree, begin again. But don't toss aside the Precepts so cavalierly. When you go on a long journey it's wise to take and heed a map. Most of us who are serious can keep the Precepts reasonably well, though none of us are perfect.
-I forgive myself and then try to do less of what I know I shouldn't and more of what I should. When I forget, I try again...
In Metta Bhavana, Metta meditation, the first one to show lovingkindness is oneself.
There is a reason for that. Ourself is the one that most often needs to be forgiven and comforted by us.
Much Metta.
/Victor
Victor is right.
I forgive you. The Buddha forgives you. Your dog, even if you don't have one forgives you.
Forgive yourself. Past gone.
I wake up every morning and accept I am not better or worse, just an average life liver trying to do better ...
That my friend is the key, do your best.
@Dhammika said> How do you live with the worst, most selfish, most unskillful actions you've committed in your life - affairs, broken vows, broken precepts, misbehavior, addiction? I thought I was better than that, but woke up a couple of years ago to find out I was not. Working on skillful thinking, as opposed to the unskillful, clouded mind that led to some lousy behaviors. I guess all we can do is begin again, grounding ourselves in a clear-eyed view of what the teachings require of us.
Good start.
That is a reflection of the other person's or persons' life condition. 
First, we admit we are not where we want to be, yet. Then we forgive ourselves and have a chuckle that the road isn't so smooth after all. If we have upset someone else, we ask for forgiveness from him/ her or them. This external forgiveness is up him, her or them. Whether given or not, don't take it personally.
Now for the oft repeated:
Take life serious but don't take yourself as serious.
Honor yourself and honor others as much.
Breath!
Everyone trips now and again on this path of life. Each time you fall down, just pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and take the next step, no matter how small.
We are not striving to be better because we are perfect; we are striving to be better because we are human, "warts and all". Welcome to the club human, though you never left. 
Day by day.
_ /\ _
I think there's an old Chinese saying that goes..."Water too clean does not harbor any fish (or life)".
Sometimes we are 'buddha shmuck' rather than Buddha Maitriya
... no requirements, just inspiration and better directions ...
Bonnie St. John was in 1st place in the slalom after the first run at Innsbruck. But by the second run the course was very icy, and there was a spot where every skier fell. Bonnie was beaten by a skier who got up faster, not who was a faster skier. Reflecting on her silver medal, she famously said:
1. Everybody falls.
2. Winners get up.
3. Gold medal winners get up VERY fast.
Try not to stay down long. There are races to go win.
By vowing to never do such things again.
Gratefully - that you are able to see these issues whereas contemporaneously, they were not apparent and now that you do see the issue, to ensure that your acknowledgment is genuine and to implement successfully the viable alternative - you're far from alone.
If you have committed an unskillful act that I have not, then I congratulate you - you are quite the overachiever. I am not defined by those acts. In fact, if I must define myself at all, I suspect that it would be more true to say that I am defined by the shame and guilt I've carried for having committed those acts. Evil doesn't harbor remorse.
I thought I was better than that, but woke up a couple of years ago to find out I was not.
Most people know very little about themselves. They pontificate about how they, "would never..." and self-righteously declare that they, "could never understand..." They have no idea. Most people have not been tested sufficiently to be able to make such claims. If they had, their proclamations would give way to silence. As Lao Tsu found, "He who says does not know; he who knows does not say."
Is it kindness to offer help when there’s no sacrifice? Is it honorable to refrain from stealing when you’ve never done without? What merit is there in saying ‘just for today’ if you’ve never known the pain and feared the death that you just knew was on the other side? I would say no. There is no courage in walking into the flame, until you’ve been burned.
How many, who have never gone hungry - let alone put their children to bed hungry, would convict someone for stealing a loaf of bread? Quick to judge, they think they would never steal. Never put up with abuse. Never cheat. Never become addicted. Never prostitute themselves. Never commit suicide. They will never know.
But you now know many things about yourself. What shall you do with that knowledge? Who shall you create?
Thank you all. This forum is a blessing.