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Seeking Advice
33_3
Veteran
I am seeking advice to regain learning/practicing. During the winter months I was very dedicated. I read daily and practiced what I read. Life issues seemed to redirect me. I have connected with a local Zen center and spoke with the teacher. he agreed to be my teacher. She wants me to practice zazen with her, I have yet to return to do so...
I am having problems concentrating. To get myself back into reading I am reading jazz bio on Miles Davis.
Thank You
0
Comments
A regular meditation practice should help with concentration.
@33_3 -- A long time ago, a Zen teacher listened to my complaints about counting breaths ... how I got distracted by one sort of fantasy or another. "Well," he suggested, "if you can't count to ten, count to nine and if you can't count to nine, count to eight, and if you can't count to eight, count to seven ... and if you can't count to two, count to one... anyone can count to one."
Begin again ... very small. Perhaps just five minutes a day. Whatever amount of time you promise yourself to do, then do it: Make a promise, keep a promise. Just five minutes, starting, perhaps, tomorrow. No reason to think beyond tomorrow. Just five minutes tomorrow ... promise and then do it.
Afterwards, consider if you want to do the same again the next day ... or perhaps skip a day or a week. Just consider -- don't make a federal case out of it. If you don't want to decide just now, then don't. But when you do see an open space in your upcoming schedule, make another promise ... perhaps another five minutes. Make a promise, keep a promise.
Bit by bit.
Anyone can count to one.
'More' is not the point.
'Enlightenment' is not the point.
'Virtue' is not the point.
'Relief' is not the point.
The point is to keep your promise.
Again.
Best wishes.
@33_3 why have you not sat zazen with the teacher, if you contacted her (him?) to inquire about it? Did you change your mind? Did something happen in the meantime?
@33_3 this might be helpful The 10% Advantage
That is from one of your earlier posts ...
Now you require a kick up the ass?
Please bend over. I haz big boot to put on ...
What advice do you expect?
Things came up, I did not make it back. I live in another city. Excuses.
Truth. I am frightened.
That's the perfect time.
Frightened of what, exactly? What's the worse that can happen if you go? Seriously. What's the worse thing that can happen? Let's play it out....Deal with the situation now, before you think/expect what will/wont happen.
" You can runaway...but you can't run away from yourself"
-- Bob Marley
Understood. Well said. It is the perfect time as @ourself says. Bravo.
Yes, it's frightening. New experiences are always frightening, as is the though of changing. Don't worry about it. When you're unhappy enough with your life, you'll be motivated to do what it takes. You're just like all of us.
@33_3 The first time I walked into the hall of the zendo I later joined, it scared the bloody crap out of me. There it was, a room about 25 by 60 feet with a lighted altar at the far end. There were perhaps 20 people just sitting, just facing the wall ... being utterly silent.
Scared? No -- for some reason I was petrified: Up until that moment I had feared that whatever it was that spiritual practice aimed at might be a complete waste of time -- a first-class flimflam. But, standing in the entry way I realized that what really scared me was what it might be like if this activity provided something that was utterly true. Now that is scarey -- not the idea that it might be phony as a $3 bill but that it might make my dreams come true... even if I wasn't entirely sure of what those dreams were or what "true" meant.
Martin Luther King, Jr., once suggested, "It is not what's wrong with the world that scares people. What really scares them is that everything is all right."
I was afraid I was going to lose something, that something would be taken away from me, that I would be left naked and defenseless in a world over which I had little or no control. I was afraid someone, somehow had a deep secret wisdom and that if they chose to, I might come under their spell... turn into a haloed zombie or something. Scared? You betcha.
Scared is good, I think. Scared is true and Buddhist practice deals in true things. There is no comic-book shazzam that eradicates fear or relieves all doubts, but step by step, day by day, week by week, nanosecond by nanosecond the practice reviews the fear, sees it, and is no longer afraid of it.
Take your time. What's the worst that could happen? That your dreams might come true? That holy men really do ride broom sticks? That serenity might bore your socks off?
Take your time. It's your program and your Buddhism and your truth. And remember, if anyone tells you "it's free," grab your wallet! The is the most expensive thing you'll ever do and it won't cost you a nickel.
@33_3
Zen (like all Buddhism) is about allowing the dream of our own story telling to be experienced for the ego dream that it is.
Your fear of this process is legitimate because the steps towards practicing that you are contemplating are probably representing the most serious challenge to the reality of your identities storyline that you will ever encounter.
Most folks prefer the dream. A successful Buddhist practitioner is just somebody who eventually fosters a greater value on awakening from that dream than continuing to snooze within it.
My biggest fear, letting go. I will loose myself, my existence. Before discovering Buddhism I would refer to it as"end of times" experiences. Sought professional help for years. Medicated.
They still occur, but I possess a different mindset that help me control my fears.
The next step is to face them.
Ah the joys of the amateur Hinayana
Our little hamster wheel causes suffering. Yet creating a space to be 'more peaceable' causes fear? We all start to lose part of past 'existence' hopefully, then we might be able to think a little more clearly at least ...
What we sometimes really want is confirmation that fear is normal? Quite abnormally 'normal'.
Zen meditation is often about 'just sitting'. Are we afraid of 'just sitting' ... [shrug]
While I don't practice Zen, my practice is daily, morning and evening. Fear of the unknown or of appearing "different" is common in the beginning and, for some, it lingers for a while. Buddhism is not yet main stream in the West. When I began my practice of Nichiren Buddhism, many years ago, I shut the door, closed the curtains and timidly began my chanting. The timidity and fear quickly passed like dew in the morning Sun. Buddhism is life. If you fear life, you can not truly live.
I am not sure Zen Buddhism or a definite Buddhist practice has yet to be found. I have been reading articles on Tricycle. There is a Tricycle on line course I plan to take. Starting in Sept. I plan to study for 3 months working on meditation, facing fears associated with letting go and prepare to join others. I feel need to be alone at home limiting interactions, distractions. My goal is to gain confidence that is long lasting.
There's this guy, who needs a better reception for his tv. He realises he's going to have to put the dish he has, on the roof.
So, he buys a 60' extendable ladder online... waits for it to come... then, all on his lonesome, with only the most basic, bare minimum of tools and no safety harness, decides he's going to prop the ladder up against his house, climb up, take the aerial down from where it is, carry it up to the roof, and attach it there.
In the meantime, he's told all his neighbours, and they're all standing around, arms crossed, watching him struggle....
All he needs to say, is
"I could do with some help here...."
And before you could say "left a bit...." he would have a fully-functioning total support group, helping him up every step of the way, holding the ladder, passing some really useful tools and helping him get the reception he's looking for.
D'you get what I'm saying, @33_3 ....?
Having had this feeling for years I know what the outcome could become unless I am better prepared. Sure I could use help to get better reception. What happens is the more people I encounter the more likely I misread them. Ends up pushing me away. I want to have a firm grasp of a belief system.
The people you encounter here, can't be 'mis-read'.
It's all we can offer. We're here, you're not alone.
You seriously even ever thought you were....?
(And 'a firm grasp of a 'belief system' - what ever a 'belief system' is in your mind - isn't possible in one lifetime, you understand that, right.....? )
Difficult to put into words my intentions and plan. My apologies. Currently I am sitting in my car at a huge theme park with families with kids, chlorine orders and beer cans in the parking lot.
My wife and I have our lively grandchildren for a weekend get away.
Woah.... if anything can bring you down to earth with a bump it's young children... that's where the rubber hits the road. THAT - is practice!
Ah, with young children - such a challenges and such amazing rewards!
I don't think it necessarily takes several lifetimes or multiple lifetimes to obtain a firm grasp of a 'belief system'. It does, however, take time, an open and seeking mind, dedication, endurance, the willingness to question and courage.
Hate to be that guy, but from what I've read Buddhism specifically warns against a firm belief system.
As many a traveler has discovered, semantics can mess you up right quick.
Correct me if I err, but I think it is not a firm belief system, but rather it is a firm grasp of a belief system that seemed to be at issue.
Now, as for 'a firm belief system', if your meaning of a firm belief system is a rigid system of beliefs or dogma, you are right.
We believe that the Sun rises in the East ans sets in the West because we have observed it to be so. We know that if one applies enough heat to a pot of water for a sufficient amount of time, it will boil because we have observed the phenomenon. As these rational phenomena based beliefs grow in numbers, they become a strong belief system inherent in daily living.
If a belief system is irrational or contradictory becoming belief for belief's sake, no matter how firmly held, that system is erroneous. In the religious realm, that is why we must always question, always challenge always seek. In the process, our belief system becomes strong, not firm as in rigid, open to growth, opening to ever increasing, ever broadening avenues of learning and discovery, even change.
Now where did I leave my cup of tea?
@Lionduck
Exactly.
Yes, attachment to views can be a hindrance because it means we're not open to what is actually happening.
Transparency, in other words taking people at face value is difficult when we are 'complicated'. Really we are simple and straight forward ... or certainly can move in this direction ...
Iz plan!
Almost a year has gone by with no sense of time. I am in the same place- not reading or working on mediation. I guess I decided to go it alone without others for a while(year?)
Have no clue what advice I need now. Ha
@33_3 said, "Almost a year has gone by with no sense of time." Sounds good to me, but how does that make YOU feel? Is it good, bad or indifferent? I hope you continue to have better luck than you think you are.
Hmmm. I read on post on a thread on Tibetan Buddhism (which seems to be where I am) that you do not have to read If you see/feel what is around you, etc. I am not sad per-say. I am content being alone. I often do not know the day of the week? I want to read-study again as it brought me understanding. Oh well- thank you silver.
Completely off topic but..... Every time I visit the NB sangha I am amazed at the insightful advice and the warmth of the contributors. Thank you all
Agree 100%
Jnana yoga, the path of study (in Vedanta) is a way to wisdom and understanding. You have a realistic plan and 'way'. Manjushri says hi
http://opcoa.st/0qCsq