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I’ve had a range of different meditations, good and bad. Ones where i’ve had trouble focusing on the breath, where I just felt so unfocused I could not maintain a count of in breaths above 7, I’ve also had meditations where i’ve had counts go to 200 and nothing happened, i’ve also had meditations where within a few minutes I’ve felt relaxed into a warm bath of feeling. I often reach the stage where I let go of the breath and calm the body.
So am I doing something wrong? I was wondering whether meditation settles down into a routine of progression. Or whether perhaps I’m not achieving the right degree of concentration? How does one actually concentrate on meditation anyway? I know how to concentrate on a book, but when I try to concentrate on meditation I seem to end up tensing a few muscles around my nose and jaw...
Similarly when I practice mindfulness it seems like there is no ‘degree’ to it, I can’t choose to be “more mindful”. I’m either paying full attention or I am focused elsewhere. Even when I get up in the morning I almost never feel sleepy, it’s like the light turns on and bing!
Does anyone have Buddhist advice on how to approach this?