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Thank you so much for your very long and deeply insightful response to my cry for help. It brought tears to my eyes. You really do get what is going on in my head. I'm surprised many people, strangers included have told me to just stop. That I'm broken because I'm compassionate at all. My therapist included. Even a few other Buddhists so I began to believe it is indeed me.
I really felt the warmth from your post. Thank you again.