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I have been taking some time to just observe myself, my actions, and my reactions to things. I have learned that My personality completely changes when I am exposed to socialization with kids my age. I go from relaxed and happy, to uneasy and stressed. It seems I am spending too much time trying to fit in, which is actually making me fit in less. I cannot make myself perfect, and I know that. I would just like to be my happy relaxed self around every type of person.
It is weird how the way other people perceive our personalities can potentially make us question what we already know about ourselves, while at the same time help us learn more about ourselves.
I sometimes like to wear my mala (normally around my wrist), but have read some articles saying you aren't supposed to, while others are saying that it doesn't matter. I don't wear them for the fashion or the style (of course), but because they make me feel comfortable, and set a reminder to do things to the greatest of my ability while acting with kindness and compassion.
Although many Buddhists don't like the Dalai Llama, He preaches that same idea of simplicity. "This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."
Well, first off let me apologize for the last two posts that I had created a few months ago, I wasn't in the right place. I had a lot of things negatively effecting me that I shouldn't have let effect me, and tons of stress. My actions are nobody's responsibility but my own, and I was letting other people control my emotions. It was ignorant of me to post the discussions I did with no background information or reason. In the time I was absent I took some time to rethink what I was doing with my life: getting upset over pointless things, and sharing my retort to these things that upset me as if they were important. I took what I did and learned from it, and that's what's important. I'm sorry for my previous foolishness and hope you all understand, Thank you.